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The following is a transcript of Episode 10: Live at the Cave Comedy Radio Launch Party! by The Last Podcast On The Left.

This transcript was based on text automatically generated via YouTube's closed captioning system. If you notice any errors, please feel free to correct them.

TranscriptEdit

00:00

yeah devastating for young boy no look

00:03

like the Pillsbury Doughboy until I was

00:05

seven and then I got back hair yeah

00:08

that's good oh my god this gets me home

00:25

so much faster at night when I've

00:26

listened to that song on my ipod because

00:27

I just run from the shadows to light

00:29

what the you ki is the creepiest the

00:31

gucci is podcast

00:33

this is Bugan vodka the last podcast on

00:36

the left is Marcus Parks I'm Ben Kissel

00:37

with co-host is always sir Henry

00:40

Zebrowski and today there he is I'll

00:44

tell you I just did the best luck with

00:46

working with big breasted co-hosts

00:48

Sansa's right you are amazing my friend

00:51

who who's more alluring to sit next to

00:53

though you are because I feel like I

00:55

could actually have sex with you enjoy

00:57

right you don't have a chance with Sara

00:59

a beard I'm point though you and I

01:01

that's the thing I have a dress that I

01:03

don't want that I can only have sex with

01:05

boys speaking of having sex with boys

01:07

today we're talking about the very

01:09

lovely the very curvaceous big-busted

01:11

divine looking John Wayne Gacy yeah now

01:15

the thing about John Wayne Gacy's he's a

01:16

junior like me exactly his father saying

01:20

about Wayne Gacy jr. his father used to

01:22

call him assist II used to call him dumb

01:24

used to call him stupid that's what he

01:25

did everything that he did

01:26

and he proved his father completely kind

01:28

of right but also wrong yeah which is

01:31

nice I'll tell you what a difference one

01:32

name makes John Wayne Oh sounds like an

01:35

American who's an actor I like that guy

01:37

yeah the westerns and the guns John

01:39

Wayne Gacy oh it's kind of American hero

01:42

I like that guy with the torture in the

01:43

kid absolutely it's 22 kids mmm he

01:46

killed 22 kids and I say if you've ever

01:49

been in a New York City Subway I want to

01:51

thank you John Wayne Gacy yes I'm

01:53

wishing off York City my friend clean up

01:56

some of these kids I might John Wayne

01:59

Casey's my my favorite serial killer if

02:02

you're gonna choose one right well I

02:04

think I feel like you're using that for

02:05

selfish reasons because he's the only

02:06

one that you could play on television

02:08

absolutely

02:09

I am if there was a biopic I will win an

02:12

Oscar playing John Dacey's ha kids ha

02:16

come closer Oh mom can I have some candy

02:19

yeah you can

02:20

hey fantastic I didn't die I didn't

02:24

expect a torture rack but this ain't bad

02:25

well I made the torture rack so I hope

02:27

you appreciate it this torture rack took

02:29

me three hours I watch it on this old

02:30

house show some respect

02:33

he had a torture rack so it fucked up I

02:35

mean he's John Wayne Gacy everything

02:37

that he did is fucked up but at the very

02:39

least it's organized it's nice it's in

02:40

his basement it's like you know when you

02:43

go to John Wayne Casey's house you have

02:44

a place to sleep

02:45

absolutely under his house under his

02:48

house for the eternal rest but he got

02:51

the children by being one of the

02:52

funniest kookiest clowns around ho ho

02:55

the clown yeah what a fun clown he was

02:58

if there is just a way to ruin clowns

03:00

harder it's dress up as a clown and kill

03:03 22 boys well that's the thing that was 03:05

the beginning of the end I think I I

03:07

will say this though John Wayne Gacy is

03:09

only the second worst clown of all time

03:11

the first worst clown is an Uncle Buck

03:14

with the name of the asshole deal No

03:18

Deal Howie Mandel yeah Howie Mandel you

03:20

were a worse clown I did like your mouth

03:22

mobile uh then John Wayne Gacy I'd bet

03:24

you $5 at Howie Mandel's at least killed

03:26

one girl oh of course he's killed a girl

03:28

right he's a millionaire it's called

03:31

dating Hannigan Deal or No Deal you know

03:33

when one doesn't show up she's in Howie

03:35

Mandel's a fucking torture president on

03:37

a torture rack I'll tell you one thing

03:39

any girl that dated that's not all right

03:42

I don't want to talk too much about the

03:43

very very talented Howie Mandel because

03:45

if he's listening to this but how he

03:47

does will of a god send us some money

03:49

just retire and give us shit not kill

03:52

any girls you suck and if you did kill a

03:54

woman I hope it was one laughing at you

03:56

because funny that's right you made a

03:59

career doing magic tricks that were

04:01

terrible speaking of magic tricks that's

04:03

what John Wayne Gacy did as a clown and

04:05

I want to say John Wayne Gacy taking a

04:07

clown to this universe of horror it's

04:09

similar to like if you would see a movie

04:11

about an uncle and that uncle was just

04:13

super nice and never touched a chai a

04:17

biscuit Li out of character for an uncle

04:19

I'm an uncle and sometimes I get afraid

04:22

that I'm just gonna

04:23

one of those molesty ones just because

04:25

I'm one because I'm an uncle that's the

04:27

thing I mean you've got to do it and

04:29

it's not like they're growing into

04:31

babies no they are growing into women

04:33

uncle's like to ruin kids

04:36

why wouldn't they they obviously don't

04:37

have any of their own and they hate

04:39

their brother or sister absolutely he's

04:41

just trying to create chaos so did John

04:43

Wayne okay John Wayne Gacy so he ran a

04:45

construction company the thing about

04:47

John Wayne Gacy is that he was arrested

04:49

before yes he had he had a construction

04:52

company he was a young man he was like

04:53 20 to 23 in his first marriage yes a 04:55

very hard worker model prisoner as well

04:58

he was uh was he really was he got

05:01

arrested on the charge of raping two

05:04

young boys when they served they gave

05:06

him a 10-year sentence he then it was a

05:08

model prisoner that shows what an

05:09

amazing criminal he was where it's like

05:12

well he was a I mean it's hard to in

05:14

Chicago by the way so we all started

05:16

this so we got ten years in prison and

05:18

he only ended up serving eighteen two

05:20

months they had him they had him in a

05:22

fucking concrete square where you belong

05:24

but the he was such a good prisoner and

05:27

he became the ECAM an advocate for

05:29

prisoners rights and got them all arrays

05:31

at their jobs they're inside prison jobs

05:33

there's um he was a born politician he

05:36

was a charged in his uh was it sort of

05:38

like a Veterans Association the JC's I

05:40

mean that's the thing and if he was

05:41

around nowadays this this political

05:43

scandal pales in comparison to the ones

05:45

that are happening in our world right

05:46

now yeah because the JC's back in the

05:48

money before he was first arrested they

05:50

had like this sex club him and all these

05:52

old white men used to get together and

05:54

they used to create porns and swap wives

05:56

and do all this stuff yeah the crazy

05:58

drug stuff and rape boys together is how

06:01

they learned how to do that or practice

06:02

and then he went to jail and he became a

06:04

model prisoner and then got out and then

06:06

you know I would imagine in jail he's

06:08

surrounded by grown men where is the

06:10

temptation there none you know he was

06:12

just like I I don't even know how to be

06:14

bad here absolutely I mean when you're a

06:16

young boy and if you're fat you have

06:18

breasts and you don't have any pubic

06:20

hair or a chest that's much like you

06:22

were born a woman that is my life and

06:24

that's why I understand where he's

06:25

coming from and I think that's why he's

06:26

our favorite because we both were very

06:28

fat yeah large bosoms no pubic hair to

06:31

show for it's not at all for a while

06:33

devastating yeah

06:34

devastating for young boy no look like

06:37

the Pillsbury Doughboy until I was seven

06:39

and then I got back hair yeah that's

06:42

good that is true what is that dough

06:48

that is for sir hey mom where'd you get

06:54

the dough for this friend Henry he's so

06:58

nice he's a great buddy

07:00

so yes so he ran a construction company

07:02

and this is where he started to run in

07:04

to young boys all around as a matter of

07:06

fact in today's economy

07:07

he might be wanted because he hired a

07:10

whole series of fifteen-year-old

07:11

sixteen-year-old boys to help him with

07:13

construction making jobs yeah absolutely

07:16

wrote the economy high turnover rates

07:18

yeah you know yeah Austin Lee because

07:20

half of them ended up at a crawlspace in

07:22

his basement the thing was it's oh yeah

07:24

so he got out of jail after serving 18

07:26

months he glib he lived with his mother

07:28

who loved him so much

07:30

she was a sweet but I bet there was a

07:32

little bit alike I love you your daddy

07:34

let's be daddy for tonight because I'm

07:36

he was pretty Buse pretty fucked up yeah

07:38

I'm sure

07:39

so Ethan made a new life for himself and

07:40

met a new wife what she must have been a

07:43

lover she must've been really fun to be

07:45

with well uh yes yeah then of course he

07:47

confessed to being gay with this gal

07:48

right yeah and they didn't have sex

07:50

anymore so then he could just start

07:51

having sex which I'm gonna say and I'm

07:53

gonna speak for every woman in the world

07:55

dream come true yeah every single woman

07:58

just wishes their husband was a closeted

08:00

gay so they could just agree not to

08:01

touch each other

08:02

Exeter with marriage does yeah I am so

08:06

sick of just can I may I please please

08:08

please please please and that's just to

08:13

get the remote other thing and then she

08:15

she then have finally divorced him and

08:18

so he had the house to himself and it

08:20

was like the whole house I imagine he

08:21

had a moment that risky business moment

08:22

where is a dark mansion

08:24

tanana and like it was having a good

08:26

time yeah I myself and then he went on a

08:28

massive killing spree just had the time

08:30

of his life

08:30

really the peak of his career if we're

08:32

talking Jordan we're talking 93 to 96 my

08:35

friend did not have to rely on the

08:36

fadeaway 70 us dunks yeah

08:39

dunks missing a free-throw dunk you

08:41

tried to get away I still got your ass

08:43

absolutely because I'm bigger than you

08:44

and you fat and I somehow con you into

08:47

coming over

08:48

my house and getting you drunk because

08:49

you're working for me my construction

08:50

firm we just took there was a thing and

08:53

he would have his construction firm so

08:54

he started the construction firm and he

08:55

would have the kids who were working for

08:58

him dig trenches for him underneath his

09:00

own house you're essentially digging

09:02

their own grave yeah yeah and then like

09:04

they retrofitted his whole house to be a

09:06

fucking mausoleum and so when they

09:08

caught on to him I didn't feel like this

09:10

is close to being the tall man from

09:12

phantasm a little bit just had a silver

09:15

ball that drained people's brain blood

09:17

but he's just be about it he's so much

09:19

scarier because he's so much more real

09:21

and it can happen again it's probably

09:22

happening right now oh my god there was

09:24

a child right now having the time of his

09:27

life you never know what they're into

09:28

these days that's right you got Twitter

09:30

and all this stuff kids are getting tied

09:32

to torture racks all the time so we said

09:34

finally very controversial thing about

09:36

Gacy Williams in prison he painted a

09:37

whole series of fantastic pictures about

09:39

Pogo the clown and Henry you are four

09:41

and I am against I don't think that

09:43

people should necessarily buy the

09:45

pictures because a killer made them

09:47

although I knew I do understand all

09:48

artists are crazy but van Gogh never

09:51

painted a picture of that ear that he

09:52

suffered I I would really like to own

09:55

one they are creepy as fuck they have

09:57

this one painting that I really wanted

09:59

to buy is on eBay and it's a painting

10:01

John Wayne Gacy pin into the clown

10:02

looking into a mirror and in the mirror

10:05

is this skull face yeah

10:07

looking back at him which is really

10:08

interesting but it's like I it's just

10:10

hard to say yourself every time I mean

10:13

absolutely look at me I um I think I'm

10:16

having a thin day oh this is nice look

10:19

at that

10:19

i Henry how are you that's my skull

10:22

voice all right III are you doing fine -

10:25

a burns when I cut my throat

10:27

but the the money would go to sort of

10:30

victims associations which is a big like

10:32

fucked up thing I was also reading about

10:33

how people used to bias paintings and

10:35

have group burnings of them they are the

10:37

victims of the various victims families

10:39

would get together buy off his paintings

10:41

the money would go to their charities

10:43

for the various moves that the fans in

10:45

Cleveland overreacted just a little bit

10:48

when they burn all of LeBron James

10:51

that doesn't quite equate to killing 33

10:54

wait to go to is 35 million dollar Miami

10:57

fucking mansion I can't wait oh my god

10:59

great if serial killers could join a

11:01

league in Gacy was just like I'm gonna

11:02

take my talents to South South Beach

11:05

yeah the whole show all right well we

11:07

got to wrap up this 10 minute episode of

11:09

last podcast on the left we'll talk guys

11:11

Thank You Margot forward to it thank you

11:16

[Music]