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The following is a transcript of Episode 11: Exorcisms! by The Last Podcast On The Left.

This transcript was based on text automatically generated via YouTube's closed captioning system. If you notice any errors, please feel free to correct them.

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00:00

look at me I'm a cupcake why not I'm a

00:02

cupcake I feel like one all right uh

00:09

when do we start right now

00:12

welcome to the program with Marcus Parks

00:15

I am Ben Kissel and always with me on

00:17

the last podcast on the left there is a

00:19

brass key Henry Zebrowski liberal ski I

00:23

consider myself the scientist of the

00:25

podcast you are the scientist I'm the

00:27

scientist you're the you're the the

00:29

personality and Marcus is the sex appeal

00:32

no hunch give me a hunch you're on you

00:34

have a hunch you're on you're The

00:35

Hunchback of this cover the other

00:37

podcast yeah that means I'm the smartest

00:39

is that true well I don't know I just

00:41

feel like I wrote the original or The

00:43

Hunchback was retarded like literally

00:47

yeah he was not retarded he was obedient

00:49

he was dutiful he was retarded he was a

00:52

retard

00:53

yeah he was a retard that's it simple so

00:56

okay well is it camel stupid I don't

00:59

think camels are stupid mom and a retard

01:02

a deaf retard yeah well either way he

01:06

wouldn't like this podcast but welcome

01:08

to the show tonight we are talking all

01:11

about possession spooky haunting sort of

01:14

be a ghost podcast part dos because your

01:17

partner knows too much to talk about

01:19

with ghosts um we're not the so called

01:22

experts you even think we are so it's

01:24

like we're we're really just trying to

01:25

jam as much go stuff in there as

01:27

possible because we're fascinated I just

01:28

want to be haunted by a ghost so bad but

01:30

a ghost that's really into good

01:32

nutrition and high fiber I said what you

01:34

want

01:35

you wanna you want a fucking trainer

01:37

ghost

01:38

I want a ghost to move inside of my body

01:40

and just make it better somehow and I

01:42

feel like that's why we've never been

01:43

haunted or possessed because the demon

01:45

goes into our epicenter our soul or

01:48

heartbeats gets that if they get fat

01:50

they just love TV they just immediately

01:53

start smoking ladies a weed and the

01:55

demons just like I am NOT the demon I

01:56

should be I should be a better demon

01:58

these the thing is it's not fun for a

02:00

demon when he possesses a body that just

02:01

enjoys everything that he's trying to do

02:03

to it it's true I want to walk down the

02:05

steps backwards yeah that were lot of

02:07

fun yeah make me do the spider walk can

02:09

I literally spider walk on the wall

02:11

can I do that I could do that I'll do

02:12

the work every single day I'll fucking

02:14

masturbate on the crucifix that's thing

02:16

but for every day

02:17

screw the MTA through screw taxis yeah I

02:19

got a backward crab walking on I feel

02:21

like Axl Rose

02:22

but I don't have musical talent it's an

02:24

amazing demon inside of me Thank You

02:26

demon and the demon just like this is no

02:27

longer fun I hate this I'm gonna go

02:29

conquer a Mormon and then he takes over

02:31

the Mormon the Mormon becomes Mitt

02:33

Romney and runs for president I was

02:34

doing the reason why we don't get to see

02:36

ghosts I want to see a ghost so bad I

02:39

want to see a fucking ghost well we

02:41

don't want to see a ghost because I want

02:43

you so bad and also trying to have sex

02:44

with a woman

02:45

Roberts it's like you can't be desperate

02:47

for it because you're just not gonna get

02:49

it never gonna happen the biggest ghost

02:51

is going to be your jism on her chest

02:53

that's never you're never gonna see if

02:55

there were just only there was big

02:56

slutty ghosts they have that in

02:58

ghostbusters I remember that was the

03:00

first time I even understood what a

03:01

blowjob even was was in the scene when

03:04

she unzips his fly insert circuit and

03:06

was like a ghost blowjob see for me that

03:08

wasn't that was one of the jokes that I

03:09

didn't get until he's older yeah like

03:12

whenever I whenever I was a kid I was

03:13

like why is he I guess the ghost is

03:16

really scaring him because his eyes roll

03:17

in the back of his head oh that she was

03:20

yeah and I just come out I'm gonna come

03:22

out of the closet here I never saw the

03:24

movie ghostbusters I've never seen my

03:26

parents were few wait a second let me

03:28

watch the ideas my brain is shattered I

03:31

mean oh I'm cuz ghostbusters is like can

03:34

we get into five percent of my

03:35

personality I know like comes from

03:37

gospel this is why I think you're so

03:39

unique and original I've never seen the

03:41

original that's not too low though

03:42

because it is a you know millions of

03:45

people I'd say how many billions of

03:48

people live in the world eight billion

03:50

exhale yes 6px billion eight million

03:53

billion four billion that Vil four to

03:56

six people in the entire world have seen

03:58

ghostbusters

03:59

I am sure I think at a Penguin's in the

04:02

Arctic have seen that festering our

04:05

frozen critters into it they're number

04:07

one fritters we love you penguins see

04:09

for me Ghostbusters introduced both the

04:11

love of horror and comedy at like five

04:14

years old the perfect and I at the same

04:16

time ah Bill Murray's deadpan delivery

04:18

Europe

04:20

I'm a bad girl I know I mean my parent

04:22

my literally man you look like a camp

04:24

you need to go to a camp where they'll

04:26

fix you das Kampf yeah yeah sounds good

04:29

thank you Henry I I have a memory of

04:33

being six years old watching

04:35

Ghostbusters with a babysitter to

04:37

babysit her sounds in Wheaton Illinois

04:38

my mother coming through the door

04:41

realizing that we were watching and

04:42

freaking out because she thought it was

04:44

uh Anton Louis we're gonna start coming

04:46

through the fucking television screen

04:47

and the ghosts are just gonna be an end

04:49

this is the beautiful thing about

04:50

possession I went to a cafe and went to

04:53

Christian school born-again Christian

04:54

school which ghosts are more than real

04:56

like I kicked out for not being able to

04:57

speak in tongues yeah you worship a

04:59

ghost what is the Holy Spirit the Holy

05:01

Ghost you're looking at a Slimer

05:03

it's Jesus it's it's got very long yet

05:07

big long beard and then you got Slimer I

05:09

mean we're not even making fun of them

05:10

they say specifically we're not making

05:13

shit up the holy goat I was just reading

05:15

about it or ship it goes well does he

05:16

were saying that like but the Holy Ghost

05:18

is the only sanctioned ghost yeah

05:21

according to Catholicism the the Holy

05:24

Ghost Legler this sounds ludicrous you

05:27

guys it is the only ghost they allow

05:30

that's cool it's you let me then the

05:32

ghost is a spur

05:34

that's the well Casper is like good to

05:36

deliver the mail but do you really want

05:37

him in charge of your entire religious

05:39

wanting possessing me me walking around

05:41

like ah Henry seems much nicer now yeah

05:47

he loves cupcakes

05:49

ah we spent two hours taking a piping

05:53

bag filled with Isaac and shoving our

05:55

possess and then of course that out look

05:58

at me I'm a cupcake why not I'm a

06:00

cupcake I feel like one huh

06:04

I mean that's been growing up in a

06:05

religious culture they believe in the

06:06

Holy Ghost in the Holy Spirit and that's

06:08

what you're supposed to get and I

06:09

remember I got kicked out for nothing

06:10

all the speaking tongues I immediately

06:11

thought like there's no way the Lord

06:14

sounds like he has a Midwestern accent

06:16

forgot that that you actually went

06:18

through all of that you had people like

06:19

next to you gonna come back every when a

06:23

sharp is like aw hey no don't you know

06:28

and our channel or they come now with

06:31

the free doors come give me the free

06:34

doors Lord out well do you think so do

06:36

you think it's I mean speaking tongues

06:39

is not real but do you think that

06:41

possession could be real deeply I think

06:43

the possession was used as a medical

06:45

practice for thousands of years yeah my

06:47

father Steve lunatic closeted homosexual

06:50

priests that we had when I was growing

06:52

up I resented attend to clarify not your

06:57

actual dad no my father openly gay mouth

07:00

as openly gifts all over town he loves

07:02

it and they actually call him ghost man

07:04

and it's only to go in time is he's

07:06

covered in jism no justice randomly you

07:08

get a piece of jizz on your forehead who

07:10

do the plasm this goes man of course my

07:14

father is actually very crippled and we

07:17

hope he gets better so the thing is so

07:20

it was father Steve and we watched I

07:23

watched The Exorcist my sophomore year

07:25

of high school as if it was real yeah

07:28

like it's a documentary and father Steve

07:29

is the one who showed it in class yeah

07:31

so entire there was an entire four-week

07:34

period that was the only time I ever

07:36

liked going to Catholic school Christian

07:39

class because they took it so deadly

07:40

seriously and then you look at sort of

07:43

the history possession I mean it's been

07:45

going on for a long time is going on of

07:46

course it's like you know they say like

07:48

Jesus day where he would ask demons out

07:50

it just tends to be you have the flu

07:52

yeah you're the flu or you have what it

07:54

would now be obviously did like seen as

07:57

like schizophrenia you're schizophrenic

07:59

all it is currently Oh like epileptic

08:01

like was huge thing but then you look at

08:04

certain cases and it's it's very

08:06

compelling like because it's just one of

08:09

those things is your religious belief

08:12

fueling your exorcism ones like let's

08:15

say you have epilepsy or you have

08:17

schizophrenia and you don't know it

08:18

you're very religious and you're very

08:21

religious family is just like my our

08:23

daughter is is possessed by a demon

08:25

because you're like talking in tongues

08:27

you're like seeing shit you're doing

08:28

you're like you're having seizures

08:30

you're having sort of out-of-body

08:31

experiences and the main thing you Delta

08:36

it's all getting fuel by the fact that

08:38

everyone just believes that demons are

08:40

walking around

08:41

oh yeah I mean like so they're all that

08:43

it's all real I will say it's the most

08:44

bass possible human reaction and

08:47

ironically it's me it's easier to solve

08:49

a possession than it is scoliosis yeah

08:52

oh no no medical problem is wrong with

08:55

her we need three Bibles bola pasta and

08:57

a couple of raw eggs we're gonna get

09:00

this girl going in no time

09:02

it sounds easier to me that like well

09:04

we're gonna have a couple of treatments

09:05

of chemotherapy and we're gonna sit you

09:07

down with needles for 80 80 days

09:09

straight yeah we're not yet and no

09:11

spells will be cast not in this whole

09:13

treatment process so there's going to be

09:15

it's all real stuff so that's very

09:17

difficult but it does it is interesting

09:18

because there does seem to be I mean

09:20

it's been throughout history this whole

09:21

idea of possession and there are stories

09:24

of people being able to do things that

09:26

they weren't able to do before the

09:28

possession that's what this said this

09:30

the one story of Anneliese Michel who

09:33

was she in Germany and basically it was

09:36

the same thing where she was

09:38

experiencing epileptic fits she was

09:40

experiencing voices she was seeing

09:41

visions he was blood sort of very she

09:45

went through a bunch of medical

09:46

treatment where they didn't know what

09:48

was wrong with her and she was treated

09:49

with several different like

09:50

anti-psychotic drugs and this is in the

09:52

early 70s this is like around the time

09:54

when the Exorcist said like come out

09:56

yeah yeah um and in technology

09:58

necessarily didn't debunk the fact that

10:00

it could be real yeah yeah but I think a

10:02

little bit more jaded now than they were

10:04

in the seventh cuz you cuz it's easier

10:06

to diagnose something now now you're

10:08

gonna see things work is it the blood

10:09

work is more complicate or whatever I

10:11

don't know I'm not a doctor I don't do

10:12

that I don't know I don't know

10:14

okay you're right I'm a scientist only

10:15

on the podcast the only thing that I

10:17

could say as a doctor Blake you know

10:18

what it's purple in your body here but

10:21

you know you know Bloods purple in your

10:22

body yeah that it all changes it goes

10:25

back to red you know I'm pretty sure

10:27

that there's some kind of mice in your

10:29

brain that's making your work sure I'm

10:31

not really sure so we're just gonna

10:32

continue the bloodletting and you know I

10:34

think that's gonna cure your by there

10:36

we're gonna be fine I think your choose

10:37

is too tight yeah would you need a

10:39

bigger shoe to try to get a lot more

10:41

detail yeah I need it's not good

10:42

together but they got a good wit I got

10:44

my soul out I take the soul out of the

10:46

adidas because I don't want to be too

10:47

comfortable absolutely no it's good to

10:49

keep yourself keep yourself humble very

10:52

important good uncut

10:53

furball shoe that's what I do rocks in

10:55

there you know I'm like a Jesus I'm like

10:57

Jesus with with a cross on his back

11:00

never attacked it but back dancing back

11:03

switch that I did like that

11:05

her parents like sort of reached an end

11:08

to the various like psychotic treatments

11:11

as she was getting of she was taking

11:13

drugs and she was doing therapy and

11:15

nothing was happening he was things were

11:17

just worsen getting worse and worse

11:18

worse and it was it's what they were

11:20

talking about in The Exorcist where

11:22

she'd have marks would show up on her

11:24

body and she would talk and tongs and to

11:27

speak in languages that they said that

11:29

she didn't know no is this what the

11:31

aesir's is based off of the actually The

11:33

Exorcist is based off of a thing call

11:35

it's based off a a kid named Ronald Doe

11:38

which was an anonymous ID it was an

11:41

anonymous case study that happened in

11:43

the early forties that was kept

11:46

completely secret by the Catholic

11:47

churches was they did because they put a

11:49

tight lid on all the whatever a

11:50

quote-unquote official like exorcism

11:53

things that they did right um they don't

11:55

want anybody know about it cuz they

11:56

wanna because they don't want everyone

11:57

realize it's make-believe yeah that is

11:59

absolutely not that's but this this girl

12:02

the analyse was put through the sort of

12:05

very rigorous exorcism process which

12:07

people are realize it's not one time

12:09

your breezes don't come in and don't

12:11

just do like it's like think of one and

12:13

done give it like an invasion of bedbugs

12:15

that's exactly what it's like she would

12:17

they were saying she was doing between

12:18

one and four sessions a week for a year

12:22

very cancer and chemo ish as well it's

12:25

very similar work did and because that's

12:27

the idea of you were all were just

12:28

hacking away at the defenses of this

12:30

demon and then eventually she died of

12:32

dehydration starvation

12:34

she's only 68 pounds when she died it

12:37

was what let it feed her during this

12:39

because she had a fast and she wasn't

12:41

eating it which is also a complete and

12:43

total symptom of schizophrenia which

12:45

long oh wow that's intense yeah let's

12:47

listen to uh we actually have footage

12:49

this I'm not shitting you this is real

12:51

I've got an hour and a half of I'm not

12:54

of course not gonna play the whole hour

12:55

and a half but I have an outage 29 I've

12:58

listened to this stuff before it's very

13:00

oaky spooky it's not I guess maybe it's

13:02

not real but I but he's so grooving

13:05

and also by the way it's like a demon

13:07

squawks like a demon it's a demon it's

13:10

it might as well be real walks and talks

13:12

and quacks like a demon oh by the way

13:15

this is all in German yeah though it is

13:18

so you're gonna hear a lot of how sigan

13:21

oh yeah all right well let's listen to a

13:23

clip oh oh oh

13:40 [Music] 13:46

yeah just bad with it and I

13:55

yeah

14:05 [Music] 14:07

alright what the fuck was that

14:09

and you know honestly it just sounds

14:11

like your standard German woman you know

14:13

like it was like it sounds like dinner's

14:16

ready who dropped the Google know that

14:18

is intense though that didn't bassy tone

14:21

I really say I mean quit that is not the

14:24

way a sixteen year old girl usually

14:26

sounds corny how Jackie you sounds much

14:29

I mean that's the thing I'm attracted to

14:30

it sure I want to take her out to prom I

14:32

think she has a lot of potential to have

14:34

bosoms but nonetheless the she is German

14:37

well God have you ever seen a picture of

14:39

her know that there's that there's a

14:41

picture of her animal the very end of

14:43

her life it's fucking terrifying I want

14:45

to watch the one when she was 16 but I

14:47

really do think that uh that seemed to

14:51

me it was very intense it whatever was

14:54

going on there was certainly real it

14:56

snow was real to her they were certainly

14:59

really got doing the exorcism as well I

15:01

mean this is the course which is by the

15:03

way I mean you know this is why you

15:04

become a detective for murders to occur

15:06

in so you can be first on the scene this

15:08

is a priest the Game seven of the NBA

15:10

Finals

15:11

yeah when the priests like Oh is

15:12

someone's possessed possession

15:14

possession what me in coach I gotta do

15:17

it I am a knight all right out in 15

15:20

years I'm gonna show you guys right now

15:22

a picture of this girl at the end of her

15:24

life ready for this I mean I feel like

15:26

that would have been holy Lord

15:29

I'll play as she died thin she looked

15:31

like Twiggy in the 1970s gonna be this

15:34

this picture is available on crepe kick

15:36

comedy reply by the way it is horrifying

15:39

the age is the ultimate she also was

15:43

inviting for it she wasn't eating for an

15:44

entire year that's a big thing homeland

15:46

was shot there 16 oh she was 16 when she

15:49

died cuz well well I guess she was 7

15:52

known everybody died something like the

15:53

other way she was a teenager and here's

15:55

a here's another picture of her uh

15:57

during the exorcism oh my goodness I'll

16:01

tell you man both of both of these

16:03

pictures by the way available on cave

16:05

comedy radio.com

16:06

absolutely frightening please go to cave

16:09

company radio.com to find those pictures

16:11

yeah um but the same time this has been

16:14

a long ongoing process like it was a

16:17

year-long process of exorcism by the

16:19

time you get to month 9 of that you're

16:23

going to be really in character getting

16:25

everyone's in character and I imagine

16:27

you're gonna be there you you we've all

16:29

committed to this process of of heavy

16:32

psychological torment

16:34

she's tormenting herself because she's

16:36

gone insane and she doesn't know how to

16:38

deal with it no one else no one knows

16:39

how to deal with it except put a bunch

16:40

of magical shit on top of it and you you

16:44

just be surprised what your body's

16:45

probably came I think I think you make a

16:47

good point

16:47

and I think once if you if you're

16:49

literally the only option for you about

16:51

your condition is there's a demon inside

16:53

of me the idea of like getting better

16:56

it's pretty difficult to think yeah it's

16:59

not literally a super beast from the

17:02

depths of hell cuz he's inside a yeah oh

17:05

it's speaking of so what for our

17:08

listeners people who listen to this show

17:10

a loyal what we we've done in reserve

17:12

love you

17:13

we want you to be safe and so here's a

17:15

list I found online of things that you

17:17

can do to avoid being possessed I love

17:20

it you ready do have a list of things

17:22

that you can do to become possessed

17:23

because I kinda want to hear that I

17:24

think you just need to be a hot little

17:26

girl ah

17:28

so om one is have a positive cheerful

17:31

attitude been what number one is not

17:35

have a thought out of cheer no I'm gonna

17:36

immediately could I may i reboot the sir

17:39

because it is the happy positive person

17:42

who gets murdered by the serial killer

17:44

I'll for to the Pinto at 2:00 in the

17:46

morning he's feeling like a nice guy

17:48

it makes glad entertainment I've known

17:50

Ronnie for two weeks he's never done

17:51

nothing wrong to nobody you end up down

17:54

the ditch if you're a nice and you're

17:56

opening that's where the demons seize

17:57

your front door I think these are broad

17:59

notes all right well I'm just gonna

18:01

argue with all of them if they're that

18:02

bad maintain harmony and balance in your

18:04

mind body and spirit well I mean all

18:07

right that's just nice to do even though

18:09

you're gonna avoid possessions which is

18:11

also just gonna be good for your dicks

18:13

can work better to be completely honest

18:14

is just going to work better your

18:15

vagina's gonna work better you're gonna

18:17

have a better time good point um like

18:19

the waited

18:20

well this is gonna be hard avoid being

18:22

in the company of highly negative people

18:23

or avoid going negative places yeah we

18:25

can get the shop doing them well I mean

18:28

I think that I'm a very positive person

18:29

you are obviously it is you too

18:32

positively awful yeah obviously the

18:37

third one is impossible to jerk off well

18:38

you never know who's doing what to whom

18:40

alright number four remember you have

18:42

free will remember that you have it yeah

18:45

you are the master of your own life and

18:46

destiny do not allow another entity to

18:48

conquer or overpower your will remember

18:50

even God respects our will and will not

18:52

do anything to go against it only evil

18:55

spirits try to overpower our will do not

18:57

succumb to such attempts what do mean

18:59

God's and try to go against your will

19:02

over any other entity and command it to

19:04

be gone this whole beat this is okay

19:08

obviously the person who wrote this

19:09

wrote this was never possessed well he

19:12

wouldn't be writing articles the

19:13

interest is like when they let me know

19:15

says you're not having a blog anymore

19:17

you get the best blog the do not involve

19:19

you're not gonna want to keep up the

19:22

blog do you imagine how fast you could

19:24

type with those we merely pop the big

19:26

fat scary blog we barely do it that's

19:29

not your fault no no I don't do it and

19:31

I've never been possessed high powers is

19:33

sitting at home in which I do nothing

19:35

nothing you know never kept an operating

19:37

blog it's going to do happy you're

19:39

content and why isn't the demon inside

19:41

of you then because that number one is

19:43

wrong and the thing with the number

19:46

three there that's ludicrous the Lord is

19:49

not with us he's been against us since

19:51

day one were immediately damned

19:53

yes the whole humanity's story is

19:55

immediately you fuckin we got cooked out

19:58

of the good party

20:01

alright let's move on with a very

20:03

protective or sacred objects with you

20:05

which is also one of those things I have

20:07

problems with with vampires as well

20:09

we're just like if you I just don't

20:11

believe in it simply because I think

20:12

again that's a psychosomatic thing

20:14

because you put the value on the object

20:17

that you have and is this like whatever

20:19

cross if you believe it's going to work

20:20

then it's going to work because that's

20:22

how exorcism probably works in the first

20:23

place that's how possession works now

20:25

did you believe that you're possessed

20:26

and you start to feel and show the

20:30

symptoms of possession because you

20:32

believe so are um and then the sex one

20:34

is practice discernment what the fuck

20:37

does that mean if an evil spirit is

20:39

present you can sense this your body

20:42

will react in a different way compared

20:44

to the presence of a good spirit is the

20:45

evil girl also born you fuck to your

20:47

skills you can call back at the party

20:49

and you're like I think there's an evil

20:50

spirit and I think oh yeah you should

20:52

tell that's a good way to not go out on

20:53

dates with somebody anymore right I'm

20:55

just sorry I was going to be with you

20:56

but I just detect an evil spirit in the

20:59

room with you so I'm gonna go you know

21:01

I've done that exact same thing just not

21:03

in so many words when you felt like you

21:05

were in in the presence of an evil

21:07

spirit or no no that's just another way

21:09

to say like hey you're fucking crazy I

21:10

don't want to date you anymore

21:12

you're cool you play into their game of

21:16

making them think they're inhabited by

21:17

spiritually they don't hurt you yeah

21:19

it's a good point um yeah and that's

21:22

really that's what it says those are the

21:24

tips or don't turn on television and

21:26

don't use a Ouija board hold the board

21:30

which we will be doing very very short

21:32

it seems like if we if we really want to

21:34

be possessed do we want to do the Ouija

21:36

board let's do it uh so we got the weeds

21:38

how much time we have left do we have

21:39

time enough to do that oh we're only at

21:41

about twenty minutes right now oh so we

21:44

can still talk yeah I've got it

21:46

I've been thing I've been looking up

21:47

some information on analyse here yeah do

21:50

you know that her parents and the

21:52

priests which resided over a over a

21:55

period of ten months were charged with

21:57

neglectful homicide sorry we all are

22:00

charged with gentle slaughter and the

22:02

Helen went to jail for six months Lea

22:04

cuz your priests Therese are fucking

22:06

criminals long these are and I'm gonna

22:08

do this they're all they're all just

22:10

dwelling about all criminals some of

22:11

them are just fine in closet

22:13

sexuals yeah that's what thing is I mean

22:15

it makes sense you don't want to send a

22:17

priest to a prison for longer than six

22:20

months the same way you don't want to

22:21

something I gotta live your old to Six

22:23

Flags for six months or having the time

22:25

of their life I can finally be the man I

22:29

want to be yes yes Duvall oh man he

22:31

loves going to shit in a toilet not

22:33

middle to room half a fucking prisoners

22:35

or spanic extremely Catholic oh yeah I'm

22:38

afraid of pre you know their parent a

22:40

priest you literally go in there and run

22:42

the prison every single Ponzi scheme for

22:45

like hundreds of years was run through

22:48

the church maybe very interesting to you

22:50

know everyone just wants to hear the

22:52

exorcism service to it needs to be like

22:53

and it's real to it could happen to you

22:56

literate she just lost weight she just

22:59

lost so much weight what was she eating

23:00

we didn't let her eat any literally

23:02

anything whatsoever well the thing is

23:04

the the the problem started at 16 but

23:07

the exorcisms began when she was 22 yeah

23:10

because she did not die at 17 no she got

23:13

it she died at 20 22 because she in 1975

23:16

because she went through a long period

23:18

of time where she uh was getting

23:21

psychological treatment she was getting

23:23

psychological and physiological physical

23:24

physical physiological treatment

23:27

lanskell but she suffered from grand mal

23:30

seizures yeah the worst kind shit-all

23:33

epilepsy grand mal seizures seizures

23:35

they're just like I mean that's just

23:36

whenever your entire body shakes I'm

23:38

gonna like how nice god no she should be

23:41

around nowadays she'd be the hottest

23:42

girl on the dance floor she was a

23:45

fucking she was actually pretty against

23:46

your grace actually pretty cute I've met

23:49

record whether it was you I got like I

23:50

mean Laura look at her

23:52

this girl's actually I'd say kind of

23:54

beauty that is a really beautiful girl I

23:55

she's a fucking beautiful girl no

23:57

internal demon yeah she looks picture

24:00

also available on cave comedy radio.com

24:03

doesn't want to check it out yeah jerk

24:06

off to her while you're looking at

24:07

pictures of us right next to her yeah

24:09

absolutely

24:10

it's really gonna be great so what else

24:12

you got about this Annalise chick I mean

24:13

why is this is she one of the first and

24:16

largest uh she's a very Williams example

24:18

went to trial the movie uh The Exorcism

24:21

of Emily Rose was based on her that was

24:24

actually a pretty good movie - except

24:25

for the trial parts which were stupidly

24:27

boring me uh possession parts were

24:29

wonderful um but the Exorcist scared me

24:32

deeply as a Kay because I was very

24:34

religious I grew up wanting to be a

24:35

priest I was I was training I was I

24:39

wanted to enter the seminary when I was

24:41 14 it was like on it's sort of like 24:43

short path to do it and then eventually

24:45

um well I got uh I got hard-ons and I

24:49

realized that I would never be able to

24:51

do anything with that if I was a breeze

24:53

Dana I wasn't gay and I didn't want to

24:55

hurt ruined lives of children so I just

24:57

decided not to be a priest that's a good

24:59

idea I mean the wine is good though

25:01

the wines nice and Italy you get trips

25:04

to Italy which is cool ravioli

25:06

everywhere no I'm your priest you're

25:08

talking to God he's listening finally

25:10

because otherwise he doesn't give a fuck

25:13

about you know but now when a hit you're

25:15

making them money yeah you're one of his

25:16

foot soldiers army to G over the Jewish

25:19

and yeah I know is he collects his

25:21

fucking dough absolutely

25:22

do you like my landlord does he's the

25:24

best the thing is I mean yeah growing up

25:29

super religious I was always on the same

25:30

boat you know my G NFC good news

25:33

Fellowship Church pastor Matt a terrible

25:36

terrible man he kissed his wife for the

25:38

first time on their wedding day

25:40

they literally a.m. for Deb was her name

25:42

I believe it why are you you know it's

25:44

warped and as it warped and fucked up if

25:46

you guys are it's just it's not human

25:48

now not sociologically correct no and

25:51

when they were building a new school we

25:53

made little wooden swords wrote bible

25:55

scriptures on them road drove walked

25:57

around the foundation chanting the

25:59

Lord's name all that sort of jazz and

26:01

I'll tell you being a warrior for Christ

26:03

when you're 11 years old sounds fucking

26:05

awesome absolutely because it's

26:07

something outside of elementary school

26:09

it's not decided getting bullied it's

26:11

your now it's something outside of

26:12

getting bullied is another so that your

26:13

magic Warrior for Jesus Christ

26:15

this kinda does

26:16

was that there's another world and of

26:18

course it becomes very very tragic when

26:20

people live their entire lives like my

26:22

parents do thinking that there's another

26:23

one because then you go through enough

26:25

in this one who's you're not doing

26:26

anything in drought now everything

26:28

evening it for later on Jesus just wants

26:29

me to sit here yeah and then when I get

26:32

to him and we run around yeah no runner

26:34

I'm gonna jump in the ocean yeah it's

26:36

like no jump in the ocean now yeah go

26:38

live or like vermin never life

26:39

separating fairy tale anal sex

26:40

thousand-year-old book right its updates

26:43

at thousands of years old and alright

26:45

translated from I guess I think it's on

26:47

its what fifth by the time King James

26:50

the King James version of the Bible came

26:52

around of course I think it had been it

26:53

had been translated from I mean it had

26:56

been translate from like Arabic to greet

26:58

or from Hebrew Arabic to greek to

27:01

english like so many different

27:03

translations it doesn't it's not real

27:05

it's amazing that it even makes any

27:06

sense which only kind of does but it's

27:09

yeah it's just you know it's a story

27:10

it's a story tale yeah fairy tales not

27:13

real but yet but i but it all feeds

27:16

exorcism and if it feeds possession and

27:19

it feeds that where you're you just it

27:21

is anybody who's looking to avoid the

27:24

idea that like all we have is here like

27:27

right here right now that all they have

27:29

is like you and me sitting in a room

27:30

talking together like and that it's not

27:32

there is no there's not a demon who's

27:34

coming to take over biggest problem when

27:37

adjusting to the fact that life is what

27:39

it is is realizing that I'm in a room

27:41

with Marcus and Henry and the room kind

27:44

is hot I'm a little bit sweaty there's

27:46

just a brick wall everywhere and this is

27:48

it yeah

27:49

and just realizing that this is it but

27:51

you know what no other way to go we got

27:53

pretty awesome fucking lives that always

27:54

laughing that's the best thing in the

27:56

world I mean not saying I don't wish it

27:58

wasn't it now I mean like a lot of times

28:00

where it's like I love spirits and

28:02

demons I'd love to see a vampire I

28:04

thought I am I'm hungry for it if you

28:07

said that if you told me that someone

28:09

was possessed I would go look at it

28:12

I want to go I'd want any part of it I

28:14

want to witness it I'd want to see it

28:15

I'll tell you I definitely gotta believe

28:17

in the ghost I do think there's that

28:18

that supernatural side to it I don't

28:20

know but the those edges thing to me

28:23

just seems like it's been it's it's too

28:25

much for me to like really get into it's

28:28

because all the religion is attached to

28:29

it

28:30

all these any I mean it's a Catholic it

28:32

happens in every single society that's

28:34

another thing that's very interesting is

28:35

like it happens in Buddhism it happens

28:38

in not so much in Judaism but it happens

28:40

in like a lot of but even they have like

28:43

sort of spirits and happening people but

28:44

doesn't have the same sort of dark tinge

28:45

yeah that it has uh in Catholicism

28:48

especially but Catholicism is out of all

28:51

the religions uh well not the most

28:53

fucked up but it's very complicated

28:56

I love you one funnest it's fun one yeah

28:57

I mean Catholicism is are we growing up

28:59

in the Christian religion then going

29:01

into Catholic school which is liberal to

29:03

my parents by the way yeah um it was the

29:06

Catholicism does present itself with a

29:08

lot of good times

29:09

and every time I would talk to a parent

29:12

that would go to Catholic Church ubi

29:13

like I just love the you know the

29:15

rituals the tradition and really the

29:16

whole notion of eating the but uh body

29:18

and drinking the blood eating the but he

29:20

them not that was one of the jokes I did

29:23

when I was in high school be like I

29:24

think this is the balls man you know

29:26

Jesus like that and yeah I mean it's

29:29

very bizarre and a father Steve was

29:31

telling us a story one day about how he

29:32

was in Rome and he went to a Catholic

29:34

Mass and he said the bread really turned

29:36

into flesh it was dripping blood you

29:38

shouldn't need it then you should have

29:39

thrown it away because that's fucked up

29:41

that's disgusting stop young women guy

29:43

you get you can probably catch a disease

29:44

that's human meat jaundice you get your

29:47

skin yellows whenever you read um and

29:49

you know of course the irony is of

29:50

during flu season the Catholic Church

29:52

they are they there's like everyone the

29:54

congregation gets sick yo yeah because

29:56

they all dip out of it stay the same

29:58

bottle of wine so gross that you yeah

30:01

it's the same cup that your

30:02

grandfather's just put its gums all over

30:04

and that's was a bit for my mother the

30:17

car also yeah that's a thing by the end

30:20

it's like an old western spittoon it's

30:22

just absolutely disgusting but I I

30:24

believe in certain things that are it's

30:26

like that it's just a part of of nature

30:29

that we don't understand but just the

30:31

idea of putting a personality on an

30:34

entity entering you is just a another

30:37

way that human beings always look at

30:39

nature and want to put themselves into

30:41

it so they can understand it by like

30:43

given it or given your personality give

30:46

it a name so that it makes you feel

30:47

better about it but I don't think a

30:50

spirit would show up with a name and and

30:53

have a like I don't think you know like

30:54

we all want to see that if we can

30:57

conjure up a spirit with a name I'd love

31:00

to yeah we should let's do it we said

31:02

this is finally let's do this we're

31:03

going to try and get possessed right now

31:05

we're gonna just show you well you know

31:07

we're gonna do it with the first time on

31:08

radios uh Ouija boards are like sort of

31:12

a portal for demons and we're I'm really

31:14

excited to see one we've got ourselves

31:15

are it's the most amazing Ouija board

31:18

you've ever seen this day I'm really

31:19

like okay so my hands are already really

31:21

shaky it's made of wood literally from

31:23

the land of Hasbro Hasbro toy company

31:28

this is a sacred Ouija board you know

31:30

it's real all right so I got it's a seat

31:32

to prove it absolutely how much it cost

31:34

it was $21.99 so this is real it is

31:38

definitely real um so what is uh what's

31:41

the question we want to ask well I think

31:42

that we should ask number one we gotta

31:43

get a move in here as its rotated in our

31:45

fingers I would like to know where the

31:47

corpse of John Denver is the amazing

31:49

musical so it's a it's women it's saying

31:51

in the Colorado morgue in the Colorado

31:57

okay very still they're still there it's

31:59

all there all right it's definitely

32:00

that's definitely an honest honest ghost

32:02

Virginia here absolutely what's her name

32:03

ghost for him

32:08

Gerber scums dental didn't know stall

32:13

well alright broke a year ago so you

32:18

wear ghost or a bad ghost we just when

32:21

the middle

32:22

yeah cause you just let Europe you're an

32:25

independent isn't he is that's really

32:28

interesting

32:28

unbelievable it's really interesting I

32:31

love this so Kerbal what sir burger

32:35

burger bear what time era are you from

32:38

are you I'll say that are you from the

32:41 1910s no no not for the 1910s alright 32:45

well that's gonna change 1920s you like

32:49

do you like flapper girls yes who

32:52

doesn't like yeah absolutely he typed

32:55

all that out yes he said this is really

32:57

I can't believe how efficient this is

32:59

quick it's oh it's amazing

33:01

yeah so Gerber we really just want to

33:03

know is a just how successful is last

33:06

podcast on the left and big fat scary

33:09

going to be one day we're gonna get our

33:10

own television show

33:11

yikes that is a no as a big ol no no so

33:15

that's that's that's not good that's

33:17

that girl I think that it will um is it

33:20

but will I get a television show will

33:21

Henry get it solvers no yes oh it's

33:23

Henry oh it said yes yes it yeah so it's

33:25

gonna be just me it's give me is going

33:27

to be me and Marcus okay that's good

33:30

alright so we're just saying that right

33:32

sorry Ben so Ben is not gonna yeah I

33:34

don't you said no Ben's gonna get it I'm

33:36

not even touching the fucking thing

33:38

anymore I feel like everything went

33:41

terribly wrong that was bullshit the

33:44

first ladies and gentlemen 90% of that

33:47

was real yeah and all of a sudden

33:48

Henry's don't hate the main a fucking

33:51

drove me to hell

33:53

I just terrible I just was talking to go

33:56

so you're open the ghost I don't think

33:58

that girls know shit about the movie or

34:00

television in this group or Salwa Gerber

34:03

stuff Gerber's doll well although we all

34:07

love them so what do you feel possessed

34:09

I mean I feel like weird I feel sad

34:12

because everything I said yeah

34:16

I'm feeling pretty good how about you

34:18

feel good I feel good I feel really

34:20

optimistic about the future

34:22

yeah all right well that's fantastic so

34:24

I guess we'll just be here next week

34:27

then fucking Gerber you're an asshole

34:30

and you're wrong because I am gonna get

34:32

a program die man

34:34

holy goddamn the last podcast on the

34:39

left for Marcus barks Henry Zebrowski

34:40

I'm Ben guess I'll tell you one thing

34:42

talk to you next week I'm looking

34:43

forward to it definitely yeah sure yeah

34:46

mana listen to The Exorcist thing over

34:47

and over again I can only listen to it

34:49

can we put it back on little Marcus Yeah

34:53

right like awesome with it at the end of

34:56

the podcast the entire hour and 30 just

34:59

end it with that

35:00

all right well enjoy this a German girl

35:03

uh just plain old the love of my life I

35:07

hate is a yes you did then - game day by

35:16

day yeah you know

35:29

how's he doing - I like what they're big

35:41

fans on it yeah