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The following is a transcript of Episode 12: The Psychic Journey by The Last Podcast On The Left.

This transcript was based on text automatically generated via YouTube's closed captioning system. If you notice any errors, please feel free to correct them.

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00:02

[Music]

00:04

i-i-i is ready to go one of the last

00:07

podcast on the left with Marcus Parks

00:09

I've been canceling with this is always

00:10

the scientist Henry it's mouse key the

00:12

madman genius today we are talking all

00:14

things psychic psychic activity psychic

00:16

balls we've got it between our legs and

00:18

we've got them in our brains what's

00:20

going on here my friend

00:21

all right so there's 400 register

00:23

psychics in the major New York City area

00:24

most of them run by gypsies thieving

00:27

thieving mischievious gypsies the other

00:30

half are run by Chinese apparently what

00:32

I've learned is a little tidbit about

00:34

that is that uh that a lot of times in

00:36

Chinatown when you see a tarot reading

00:38

place or a palm reading place it is a

00:40

mask for a whorehouse

00:42

I did not know that yes absolutely so um

00:45

it's it's very interesting at this the

00:49

city streets out there are filled with

00:51

magic absolutely magic dust and rats

00:54

that's what I've heard

00:55

and um an old dirty bag will it come is

00:58

the magic markers don't you know that's

01:00

what it is and so we have decided we

01:04

we've been very interested in the dark

01:07

arts absolutely and we want to we wanted

01:10

experience with ourselves

01:11

I've never actually received a psychic

01:12

reading before no no indeed you have

01:15

never and I had not either I thought you

01:17

did something in college right or no I

01:19

went to a poem reader once I'll tell you

01:21

one thing my hands are so big she

01:22

charged me double yeah my ass and that

01:26

The Reader's Digest

01:28

now we're really rolling so yes so

01:32

recently Marcus Parks Henry Zebrowski

01:34

and myself decided to really ugly up the

01:36

streets of the East Village by going

01:38

outside and looking for an actual

01:40

real-life psychic and I'll tell you one

01:42

thing as you can hear from the

01:44

recordings we're going to play you in a

01:45

you know in a minute it did not go

01:47

perfectly no no because I mean number

01:51

one they don't want they don't want

01:53

their their their lessons away their

01:55

meetings recorded during lessons your

01:57

lessons so let's let how you wasted $45

02:00

absolutely if you're paying more than

02:02

two dollars for something that is

02:04

technically fake then you're wasting

02:06

your money that we think I could have

02:08

gotten a better reading from a year oh I

02:10

could have done

02:11

real-world um mmm euros fantastic goes

02:16

before if I've done oh thanks go what my

02:17

future is wonderful yeah takes three

02:19

minutes of my future gonna be dead

02:21

fantastic it's gonna taste like lamb I

02:23

love this vlog a yeah but dear there is

02:28

there's a very interesting sort of

02:31

combination of you go in with an open

02:33

mind and an open heart and the cards

02:38

will tell you I wouldn't let them read

02:39

my palms because I don't want them

02:41

touching my hands because I got a handle

02:44

food for myself not even for other

02:46

people I shall want to get sick well

02:48

these Agility's you know when I'm

02:49

rubbing all the chocolate off your palms

02:50

absolute that shock modulator into my

02:53

creases

02:53

that's my creased chocolate mom why is

02:56

that guy just look in his hands oh yeah

02:58

obviously his chocolate in his pulse

03:00

yah-yah-yah huge eyes sweet i am i also

03:05

received in the last week a past life

03:07

regression from a psychic that will

03:09

called ngeni ngeni ngeni the site John

03:12

and Jenny a lot of it is very

03:14

interesting on and fake but I can't wait

03:18

to about will describe well let's go

03:21

through the past life regression at the

03:22

end of the program for now let's stick

03:24

with the tarot cards we have our own

03:25

tarot card reader reader Suba our garwal

03:28

yeah who is anatomica in the city who

03:31

used to be professional fortune teller

03:34

and is going to come in and sort of bust

03:35

up some of the mysteries for us mm-hmm

03:37

don't say I mean an Indian gal born into

03:40

the bitch what you got to be yeah I also

03:42

heard she gets she sleeps on a bed of

03:44

nails every night oh is that right I

03:45

heard about I heard they do No thank you

03:48

takes her roommates yeah and she gets

03:50

about Gaul you got to do the dishes new

03:52

new new new

03:54

snakes are doing all the dishes

03:56

I love it that's what I would do if I

03:58

had snakes the reason she's late is her

03:59

elephant got stuck in traffic turn to

04:01

God I heard about that but either way

04:03

we're gonna go grab her really quickly

04:05

we'll be right back oh and enjoy our

04:10

journey through the East Village

04:12

absolutely I hope you have as much fun

04:14

as we did I hope you saw us on the

04:16

streets and you'd know it yeah so we're

04:21

on that we're on the move trying to find

04:22

a proper psychic though let us record

04:24

we're here in the deep dark cities city

04:28

streets in New York City we're here

04:30

people are passing us looking at me do

04:33

you know where there's this like ma'am

04:34

ma'am no the ladies don't want to talk

04:39

to people looking for psychics no one

04:40

seems to know

04:42

people understand it work for you

04:45

comedians we were celebrities in this

04:47

town good switch Pizza Shops out with

04:50

psychic shops we would have one on every

04:52

corner

04:52

absolutely man just put a psychic in a

04:55

pizza shop yeah that would be amazing

04:58

I predict you'll be getting a slice of

05:01

pepperoni you're just happening you're

05:03

right you're fucking right you're the

05:05

best psychic I've ever seen and then

05:07

just give you a slice of for a pepper

05:09

onion garlic

05:10

you have no say that so this is what

05:14

this is on third and where this is we're

05:16

on third no third and ninth right now

05:19

where are we going up to like third and

05:22

tenth between 11th up like that 11 to 12

05:24

somebody and where are we going to Henry

05:27

a Tina's psychic Emporium all your

05:30

psychic needs all your psychic challenge

05:32

is coming to see the psychic and for him

05:34

where she's going to tell you what you

05:36

do and what you are

05:38

a second group in their prettiest

05:41

psychic group or some kind of book club

05:43

now the place is called birdbath it's a

05:45

nerd

05:48

are we technically the Nerds technically

05:51

yes because we're doing this right now

05:53

recording going to a psychic yeah that's

05:57

fine yeah it's fine

05:58

this is the life that we've chose for

06:00

ourselves not myself I'm completely

06:02

content with this that's it

06:05

all right we've seen it we've got it all

06:08

right now an update for figure you know

06:14 30 minutes 40 minutes dependable to get 06:16

some stuff on us if she's smart 45 it's

06:19

going to be probably all inclusive

06:20

whatever going to do I want to do that

06:22

well the means we should just that I

06:24

should I didn't even think about it we

06:25

asked we could record it because it's

06:27

mainly the thing well you know I think

06:28

the thing is I think they're all going

06:31

to be very tentative shoot I mean

06:32

they're kind of anyway what does that

06:38

was to live human girls are not actual

06:42

girls actual girls yeah yep always

06:45

movers the psychic on that one yeah nice

06:47

all right so this is what let's let's

06:49

look for another next 25 minutes and

06:51

then we should have to go peepee yeah

06:55

all right so we're about to go inside

06:58

we're on let's hear one East eleventh

07:01

and Broadway right now tarot card

07:04

reading should be called first

07:07

yes yeah let's call what do you think

07:12

our chances are right now Henry who

07:13

fucking knows man the psychics are

07:16

shifty half of them Egyptians

07:18

you know gypsies are far to get a read

07:20

on their there they're shifty run around

07:23

you change form they'll be a fox one

07:25

time they'll be a lady another time what

07:27

I'm not getting a response here so you

07:30

shouldn't ring the buzzer

07:31

just ring the buzzer it's a the numbers

07:32

obsolete so I'll get our telephone bill

07:35

yeah okay well that's good for us

07:37

because they're desperate

07:43

yes okay straight up any psychic that's

07:48

ten or twenty dollars this tunnel

07:50

bullshit

07:50

yeah you need a real psychic and there

07:52

are real psychics and I'm not even

07:54

kidding you but they're going to cost

07:56

you a couple hundred dollars into your

07:57

foot yeah and just give love a lot than

08:00

the psychic around the corner there's a

08:01

psychic on every corner and it's like

08:03

ten dollars how is the psychic you

08:05

missed this psychic is total full of

08:07

motherfucking shit really I've had

08:08

people come out and go oh my god I've

08:11

had a total hysterectomy she's told me

08:12

I'm gonna have seven kids so is anybody

08:15

you're gonna spend five ten dollars on

08:17

it's not yes but you know what in my if

08:20

the whole I'm just telling you guys are

08:22

you getting me oh you're recording it

08:24

yeah we do this birthing yeah the God's

08:27

honest truth but there are real psychics

08:29

that have been so phenomenal

08:30

unbelievable I've gone to them but it's

08:33

like tributed all right yeah but uh yep

08:37

well thank you my morning is just about

08:39

this person this person uh somebody

08:41

their family owns this building and she

08:44

pays her rent by they give her this and

08:46

she's trying to make rent she can't even

08:48

buy food with what she makes because

08:50

she's that fraudulent yeah Wow you are

08:54

the best thank you very much fucking

08:56

telling you the truth it was amazing

08:57

thank you so much um

09:00

well I tell you one thing we got to go

09:02

to that psychic alright let's just go to

09:04

the other one yeah

09:05

no way then we're gonna go see what this

09:07

chick is talking about no she says he's

09:09

bad I don't want a bad psychic I don't

09:11

want a bad psychic either she's not a

09:13

bad psychic she's just it's not real

09:16

Henry cortisone tree and she's cheap

09:18

she's 10 bugging me there was such a

09:20

thing there was such a thing that's like

09:21

a good energy there's such a thing as

09:22

psychic powers it's real first area that

09:25

was their most horror movie thing I've

09:26

ever experienced in my life this woman

09:28

just opened up out of nowhere she's

09:30

walking with three dogs going into the

09:31

apartment building and ladies and

09:33

gentlemen you just heard it just

09:34

immediately just handful of this

09:35

information that she shouldn't know but

09:37

the thing is is that she said it would

09:39

be different if she was like there are

09:41

ghosts in this building do not come in

09:43

here if she had said that I'd be like

09:45

we're going in you don't mean like she

09:47

was like this place is the thing i zoom

09:48

glance what he's is what he singles and

09:51

broccoli dual fraud but how how does she

09:53

know she obviously had sexy cushion no I

09:56

think it sounds like it's a woman that

09:58

does she said it was a woman

09:59

there's lesbians but she was saying that

10:01

she's a complete total fraud even if we

10:03

need the exam I want to hear it I want

10:05

to know why we're gonna pay money if you

10:08

have an open fraud it'll be like ten

10:09

dollars and I guarantee you this chicle

10:11

at all of us three in for free and she

10:13

let us record

10:14

I don't think that's true we didn't even

10:16

get response we get a monitor and we got

10:19

a buzz of your dead buzzer you buzz it

10:20

twice and you you called the and you

10:23

call that interrupts the same with it

10:24

looking contacts like Jessica did tell

10:27

us home 24 men's I'm in the middle of a

10:28

reading will why aren't you in the

10:29

middle of it then because she knew me at

10:31

work because we look shifty we're a few

10:35

guys hanging out around outside of her

10:36

psychic Ben everyone from that psychic

10:39

and she's gonna nail it she's gonna nail

10:41

it she's gonna know exactly what we are

10:43

man

10:43

yeah but Ben you buzzed the thing and

10:45

she didn't answer and then you call the

10:47

number and it was just the phone was

10:49

disconnected haven't you ever heard yes

10:52

I mean this is the thing she doesn't

10:53

have the money to pay the phone bill I

10:54

was kind of a joke up top it turns out

10:56

rape is completely true totally true

10:58

yeah well so but this is how this is how

11:01

the horror begins if they somebody says

11:03

don't go in there and we're stupid we're

11:05

in theyíve no no no go in there they

11:08

say don't go in there because oh you're

11:10

gonna you're gonna die if you go in

11:12

there then you'll go in there they says

11:14

they don't go in there it's a waste your

11:15

time that's a truth Oh nobody goes to

11:17

old man Rossdale just stay away a little

11:19

man if she said old man Ragsdale if that

11:22

if she literally said those words we'd

11:24

go in there if you as close as you're

11:26

gonna get to nobody goes into old man

11:27

Ramsdale smile

11:29

nothing's in there for you to see stay

11:31

away boys I don't think that's what she

11:33

said she said she went to a bunch of

11:34

psychics and she liked going to good

11:36

psychics who were $300 with chicks she's

11:39

doing bobbies the stuff I was looking up

11:41

was all for minimum 175 an hour for in

11:44

some of these psychics I don't know but

11:46

that's the thing so I do think there is

11:48

a line there are people who have a

11:49

genuine gift and it's a matter of it's a

11:52

thing of intuition sort of like

11:53

instincts and then there are serious

11:55

also just complete in total just gypsies

11:57

trying to steal something from white

11:59

people well first I don't know what

12:01

first of all Marcus is from Texas he's

12:04

hardly white uh-huh and it's like there

12:07

is nothing okay I'm just saying we could

12:10

get 20 bucks we've we throw 20 bucks on

12:12

table say reading for us three will put

12:14

the recorder on

12:15

table and we'll get the best reading of

12:16

our lunch it's not going to be like that

12:18

there will never be like that it's got

12:19

to be one-on-one I just don't think

12:23

that's true because this chick can't

12:24

even pay for telephone bill I think if

12:26

she sees 20 bucks should probably give

12:28

us an ass to mouth bitch she didn't

12:30

answer the buzzer she's not there well

12:36

by the way you're so upset

12:39

no because so upset a woman just came up

12:42

out of nowhere and be like oh don't go

12:44

to go go to the fifth floor

12:45

is she gonna go to the reward she didn't

12:47

see it like that not an hour thinking

12:49

you want it to be like that meet you

12:51

okay I don't wanna be like that then up

12:56

here it's our time our time our time and

12:59

it sounds like why are we going to where

13:02

the time is let's go find another

13:04

psychic just saying man that chick

13:07

seemed did a lot of press behind her

13:10

that was kind that was really weird it

13:12

was insanely weird almost as if the

13:14

woman has so much knowledge of his too

13:15

dangerous to go up there and no man Joh

13:17

soundin she has I don't think that's

13:19

what it is even remotely I don't I think

13:20

that she literally just gonna find it's

13:22

outside of one of the real psychic it's

13:27

just we will have survivor have you ever

13:30

experienced that before this woman

13:32

doesn't know what's from Adam and she

13:33

just goes into this huge diatribe of an

13:35

apartment number five you trying to find

13:36

the psychic I know some about the

13:37

psychic I mean well yeah why would three

13:39

Tripp strange men be hanging out in

13:41

front of her apartment building at nine

13:43

o'clock at night if not to go see the

13:45

psychic the psychic

13:47

if she's a psychic then we missed an

13:49

opportunity cuz she's booked by the way

13:51

she was beautiful she had a lot of work

13:53

done the thing is is I also agree she

13:55

well that car is terrible it's all

13:56

designed well I also think that she was

14:01

really looking for someone to talk to I

14:03

think the only people she talked to were

14:05

those dogs and her clients at the dance

14:07

hall she works at I really got to take a

14:12

piss who else really has to take a piss

14:14

so I'm fine so let's stop good let's

14:17

regroup for the poor let's say yeah

14:19

let's go to psychic just yeah let's go

14:21

to the poorhouse or EDD Larson works the

14:23

round table of gentleman in the middle

14:24

of relief we're going to stop by the

14:26

poor house we're going to take a piss

14:27

we're going to grab a beer we're going

14:28

to regroup and we'll be right back all

14:34

right so we're back from the village for

14:36

house we just taking a piss we're good

14:38

and now we are on a new mission we've

14:41

gotten a hot tip from a neighbourhood

14:43

person Henry what's going on well it is

14:46

a storefront on Avenue a between 12th

14:49

and 13th it's currently been there for a

14:50

number of years and this girl had

14:52

actually what seemed to me a pretty

14:54

solid theory which is if a psychics been

14:56

open for longer than 10 years and

14:58

probably has had at least some success

15:00

so maybe she's fine or you know run

15:03

subsidize there or maybe she's dead in

15:04

there and just keep the lights on you

15:07

know good theory she's a skilled pilot

15:11

sitting in the bathroom well of course

15:14

Henry you are the scientist of the

15:15

podcast absolutely yeah I've got my ecto

15:18

meter these were professor more of a

15:21

professor a scientist and a professor

15:23

and a scholar and a gentleman I'm like

15:25

of course I consider it's a cultural

15:27

anthropologist there we go that's what I

15:29

am and Elsie I will say Celtic cultural

15:31

anthropologist and very flatulent as

15:33

well

15:33

oh man I'm having some troubles liquid

15:36

shits all day today oh that's fun what

15:38

would the psychics gonna be say about

15:39

that that's the thing what is she's

15:41

gonna call it that knows it's like a

15:43

Doberman I've heard that true yeah yeah

15:45

totally there's gypsies well I mean if

15:48

it's a good psychic she's also a gypsy

15:50

that's a true the gypsies are thieves

15:52

well you don't have to paint your barn

15:53

but you can sit down to get out reading

15:55

from them

15:56

is that an old tale is that the Gypsy

15:59

paint near barn is that like everybody

16:00

knows it might everyone my grandfather

16:03

you should tell me this is if it

16:04

happened to him but he had him paint the

16:06

barn and he was like up top it's like oh

16:08

this was look at the greatest paint job

16:09

in the back they just didn't paid the

16:10

back wall ha ha ha

16:13

gypsies are so much fun mm-hmm

16:18

let's just end up in a pizza place yeah

16:21

it's possible I'm getting a second

16:23

greeting tonight I'm primed for it I'm

16:28

ready to go my channels are open I gotta

16:33

take a shit really soon I'd imagine the

16:37

psychic does have a bathroom scrub you

16:41

like it's a thought toilet just go think

16:44

in the corner in pooping oh don't go in

16:45

that bathroom that bathroom just for

16:47

ghosts oh well let's go to shit right

16:53

out of me this is actually the bay the

16:54

best bathroom ever minute I like bein in

16:55

this bed because here for four seconds

16:56

I'm already all done and it wipes it for

17:00

you whose hands are cold cord cord heads

17:04

cool it's dead ghosts cold hot I take my

17:07

cold hand at my eye hmm oh that's

17:11

perfect that's perfect temperature all

17:14

right so the last sidekick was a bust

17:17

the one over on 12th and Avenue way so

17:20

we're going to go back to our first

17:22

choice of psychic Jessica

17:24

where was that psychic Jessica was on

17:28 3rd and 11th so we got a couple of 17:33

blocks to walk we'll be right back um so

17:38

that was our mediocre trip to the East

17:39

Village

17:40

yeah it went fantastically the thing was

17:42

is that no magic actually happened which

17:45

I was hoping for although I will say

17:46

this we we saw Cameron Diaz and Alex

17:49

Rodriguez walk down the stand for that

17:51

yeah that's modern royalty that's the

17:53

nor the awesome that is Camelot I'll

17:55

tell you I came a lot hey how are you

17:57

ladies and gentlemen welcome back to the

17:59

morning zoo

18:02

it's a dog man with the dog news what's

18:06

in the dog news dog well that's really

18:10

on the ride that is here uninformative

18:12

ah so we're at the psychic we all went

18:15

in to get our tarot cards read

18:17

individually we ended up stumbling upon

18:18

the placing the st. marks well not

18:21

necessarily stumbling upon because while

18:22

you guys were ah gling at a modern

18:24

royalty I was doing work and finding the

18:26

psychic thank God we had somebody who

18:28

was focused good job Marcus and so as we

18:31

went in and let's just let's discuss

18:33

everybody's readings Marcus you went in

18:35

first mm-hmm I went in first and but got

18:38

by far the the worst news yes although I

18:43

will be successful my career is going on

18:46

the right track I will be faced with

18:49

three choices in the near future one

18:51

will keep me here one will cause me to

18:55

travel as one is in an undisclosed

18:57

location yeah we're Dick Cheney lives

18:59

yeah same place uh the next thing that

19:03

she told me is that uh yes she knew that

19:05

work was the focus of my life and let me

19:07

know that somebody that I work with will

19:10

betray me in the near future

19:12

oh ma it's certainly not been Kissel

19:15

well anyway welcome back to the program

19:19

Marcus parks is normally don't new

19:23

someone's gonna betray you which I love

19:25

who is it gonna be and why I have no

19:27

idea

19:28

it's gonna be very exciting to find that

19:30

out this psychic by the way she had

19:32

bizarre skin folds underneath her eyes

19:35

index underneath her eyes gypsy there's

19:37

a gypsy psychic sex yeah yeah dude it's

19:40

roller sided webs are it and then she

19:43

told me that she pretty much told me

19:45

that I'm just going to be fucking sluts

19:46

for a long time

19:47

cool before I find my my next might my

19:50

true love I'm going to get married have

19:53

two kids will live to an old age I

19:56

didn't ask her what age because I like

19:58

surprises so that's pretty much mine

20:01

yeah not bad really overall I thought it

20:03

was pretty positive yeah it's not bad

20:05

but my life will be I will have many

20:07

inconsequential relationships and won't

20:09

be lonely for a long time yes that's

20:11

what could you like that yeah you know I

20:12

I hate it so much

20:14

I don't I just love it I like you know

20:19

you're always around I like you being

20:20

single you know yeah it's not bad

20:23

Henry what what what great news did she

20:25

bestow upon you so I went in there and I

20:28

did a couple jokes up top as soon as I

20:30

walked in I'm just tossing jokes around

20:31

him guy got her going um still cost me

20:34 $45 so yeah um but there is there is 20:38

something there's something there as

20:40

much as there's a lot of when you Cohen

20:42

was like I guess part of their job is to

20:44

sort of connect with you on a personal

20:46

level that's what they want to do you

20:48

have these ratings I think um from just

20:50

looking you as it as a person is that

20:52

when she came in the first thing she

20:54

said was uh you have it you are a very

20:57

good-natured person you have a tendency

20:58

to be naive so you have to watch out for

21:00

people taking advantage of you to make

21:02

money off of you and I was like like you

21:04

like what you're doing right now uh what

21:07

gave you the idea that I was I naive Oh

21:08

walking to the sidewalk the psychic man

21:11

you $45 um but then I actually asked her

21:14

a couple questions and apparently she

21:15

had been doing it uh she had had that

21:17

psychic gift since she was born and she

21:19

had been doing reading since the age of

21:22

fourteen so she had been she said she

21:25

was 38 now and I was like you don't look

21:26

fat yet and she's like um she was not 38

21:31

no probably well she's a psychic so she

21:34

could've been anything but I'm think she

21:35

could be 105 who knows

21:37

psychic powers are keeping her together

21:38

mentally um she told me that I was gonna

21:40

live a long and full life and she asked

21:41

me how do I want to know the age and I

21:43

said yes she said 87 which means they're

21:46

gonna find a cure for cancer that's

21:48

right um because there is no way I'm

21:50

gonna make it to 87 living the way I'm

21:52

living and I'm not changing um I refused

21:56

to I know should I'm going to have three

21:58

kids in my lifetime said that I will

22:01

have there will be some sort of marriage

22:03

in my future but they don't know how

22:04

that will work out right sure and then

22:08

um she said my career will bring me much

22:11

luxury which I agree with which i think

22:15

is good I've got that couch I always

22:18

wanted finally oh my goodness a new air

22:20

conditioning unit this is great

22:22

I don't living in Queens though

22:24

I'll always be here huh all my shoes

22:26

fell off I can't buy new shoes better

22:29

sit on that nice couch of mine she said

22:34

I was in the market to buy a house what

22:36

if you're not wrong

22:37

I definitely got more than I oh no

22:40

you're eating your way to look like a

22:42

house dog boy is a fat dog but there was

22:52

just certain sort of personal things

22:53

that she said that really kind of hit

22:55

the mark that were that was very

22:56

interesting but I think a lot of that

22:57

has got more to do with the fact that

23:00

she's good at reading people from doing

23:01

this for a number of years of course

23:03

then from the cards themselves because

23:05

who knows how that all works that's the

23:06

thing and with mine it was pretty much

23:07

the same thing you know going in there

23:09

you had to you have to UM flip the cards

23:12

yourself I know how to do that so I just

23:13

put them all on the table and scramble

23:15

them all round you got big hands yeah

23:16

two big fat hands that are disgusting I

23:18

could sell them for $5.00 a pop at a

23:20

street fair the thing is yes she went in

23:23

and issues tell me I'm gonna be very

23:24

successful Mantova two children or three

23:26

children two boys and a girl so really

23:28

only two children and the thing is and

23:32

then she said oh you don't like

23:33

Authority you like to do it on your own

23:35

you're there was just she played it with

23:37

my Bruce Willis balls see you - like you

23:39

you know like people telling you you're

23:41 - what to do they're going to know and 23:44

at that moment I told her shut the fuck

23:46

up but I just left and I was like wow

23:48

she's accurate he took charge he's in

23:50

charge of that reading so career-wise

23:52

everything's gonna be fantastic I'm

23:53

living 290 my friend Henry said we got

23:55

some years left we're doing this for no

23:58

chairs so let's bring in our oh let me

24:01

I'm actually talking about my past life

24:02

regression I just like bring it up real

24:04

quick so I went through a process it it

24:08

is it's kind of Loony Tunes

24:11

alright it's called soul memory right

24:14

the idea of this soul memory thing is

24:16

they go into your past I this psychic

24:19

interviewed me acted as me as an avatar

24:22

in a group scenario where student

24:24

psychics were learning how this is this

24:26

is what they this is what they told me

24:28

all right then what they do is is they

24:30

use a pendulum and they ask a questions

24:33

and as the pendulum squint spins it gets

24:36

like away it spins

24:38

how they answer their questions so what

24:40

they do is the first thing they have to

24:41

do they kind of go through they ask a

24:43

central sort of question about your life

24:44

so after interviewing me the central

24:46

came like central question came out of I

24:48

have anxiety about like the future of my

24:51

career I want to know like how do I get

24:54

rid of anxiety in order to to move

24:56

forward because part of like fear

24:58

failure balls up uh and they so they

25:03

have to check your they check your soul

25:05

out they check out your aura first for

25:07

debris and then check your past lives to

25:10

see how how many times this question has

25:12

come up in your past life so now to

25:13

answer it

25:13

what they said was was my aura was more

25:16

blocked than any human they had seen

25:18

before no you sure net it mean artery

25:20

yeah yeah number one they said my

25:23

grandfather's ghost was haunting me and

25:24

giving me stomach problems and so they

25:27

said they released or sent him to hell

25:28

Wow can you set your grandfather to hell

25:31

yeah heaven heaven oh I was gonna say it

25:34

cuz it is right let him stay inside I

25:37

was like the other arms out hell was it

25:39

like Arnold Schwarzenegger from end of

25:41

days my grandfather's Gabriel Byrne

25:42

right and then they they said that there

25:48

were certain thing these spirits called

25:49

elementals which are non earth spirits

25:52

that cloud you um and that the one the

25:56

main thing I was like really interesting

25:57

to me is that they found out that I had

25:59

three curses placed upon me interesting

26:02

time where it's like they said there was

26:04

a curse placed upon my career there was

26:06

a curse placed upon my entire family

26:08

line which I imagine because Zebrowski

26:10

czar not known for being reputable

26:11

people that's right and the third um was

26:15

on a present or past relationship and

26:19

they release all those curses oh you're

26:21

good yeah so I'm done I'm clean

26:23

um but what's weird is so it's like you

26:26

know and I really do I have very severe

26:27

stomach problems my stomach problems

26:29

have not been so bad reason well I

26:31

thought the day afterwards I was

26:33

shitting like super liquid stuff but

26:36

that's what they said it was that like I

26:37

would experience some sort of physical

26:38

symptom after the sole cleaning that my

26:41

body would be all kind of out of whack

26:43

so do you feel like you were shitting

26:44

your grandfather's soul yes something

26:46

like that like you got him out of you

26:48

through you know what bottle of it you

26:51

you sad you should've flushed it Henry

26:54

I should have spend more time with that

26:55

shit toilet bull the road to heaven are

26:59

wrong endure so at the very end of it

27:01

let me just have it up so the very end

27:02

they were like okay good at the end of

27:04

the reading they were like okay so are

27:06

good so his his soul is unified all this

27:09

is done you know if I don't my question

27:11

came up and literally 90% of all of my

27:13

past lives and that they're releasing

27:15

the question for me which means that

27:17

like which is a part of your you have

27:19

these thing called chronic books which

27:20

are these books that are you pick you'll

27:23

say your soul is made out of the ABS dr.

27:25

Dre room or chronic muck but you walk

27:29

into your let's say your soul is a

27:31

library filled with millions of books at

27:32

the beginning of your present life you

27:34

choose seven books that are each of

27:36

seven central question to your psyche

27:38

can't read on I can't oh it's in Tibetan

27:41

ah but the but after which is issue like

27:46

that was actually one of your chronic

27:47

books so now that's salt so it's like

27:49

you're going to have an easier your

27:51

soul's going to it's going to be easier

27:52

for your soul to be released to Nirvana

27:54

after all of us hey alright excellent

27:56

and so at the very end they're like okay

27:58

he's done good we've cleared everything

28:00

apparently it was like a six hour

28:01

process oh my to clean me they put a

28:04

sphere of protection on me they put a

28:06

cone of awareness on me leading up to

28:08

the omnipresent logos the king of colors

28:11

because all souls are made of colors

28:13

there's a lot of stuff Wow

28:15

sounds a little bit like dune a little

28:18

bit it's a lot of stuff and then the end

28:20

they were like okay goodies then they're

28:21

like actually no he needs soul

28:22

unification process until you forget the

28:25

soul unification bride she's like so she

28:28

says like I can either do this to myself

28:30

as you or you can do this to yourself I

28:33

was like okay the process is is you you

28:37

do it late at night you light three

28:38

candles you say this sort of incantation

28:40

you get a bowl of witch hazel right

28:43

mm-hmm a cloth made out of cotton what

28:45

if only I mean animals yeah you don't

28:47

use look now it says what witches on

28:49

witch hazel hmm you take off all of your

28:51

clothes you use the left hand in the

28:53

wool rag to wipe let witch hazel all

28:57

over the left side of you and then you

28:59

take the cotton rag in your right hand

29:02

and use it to cover all of the right

29:04

side of you

29:05

and then you say this sort of

29:07

indentation and then you're supposed to

29:08

sleep in the circle for five hours you

29:11

suppose then like literally curl up in

29:13

the ball where you are and sleep like

29:15

this later yeah yeah so I need your

29:18

coals right I need your clothes on but

29:22

that is uh but that's what I haven't um

29:24

I haven't done it yet

29:26

you need to unify my friends haven't

29:28

done it yet I was going to try and do it

29:29

before the podcast but I really just

29:30

wanted to have a normal night last night

29:32

yeah you know mayburn odd one I just

29:35

needed you I don't know when to choose

29:36

to do I don't know when it's going to be

29:38

a lot come on I got some get to the soul

29:40

unification process I just got to pay my

29:42

gas bill yeah

29:44

looks like I do that yeah I'm pretty

29:45

good still have that so yeah I'm feel

29:47

good well but it's a very interesting

29:48

experience and it just it's just one of

29:51

those like you can see how it can give a

29:54

lot to your life if you give in to it

29:56

like you can see how like if you really

29:58

believe in it like it will genuinely

30:00

genuinely help you I'm sometimes wonder

30:03

because it's like I'm sort of a critical

30:04

person that I don't know if it honestly

30:07

would even have an effect but I just I

30:10

just have no idea well I think it's just

30:11

like any other religion if it makes you

30:12

happy keep on doing it and I'll tell you

30:14

no one's murdered anybody over this

30:16

witch hazel situation so it's better

30:18

than better than many of the beliefs out

30:21

there so far but speaking of wonderful

30:24

people over here we've got supa Argyll

30:27

Wall are are what do we call it resident

30:30

tarot and psychic expert I think that's

30:32

a good way instead of comedian and

30:34

stand-up comedian who edit that out so

30:38

super what do you think about our

30:39

readings as far as the tarot cards go

30:41

before you comment on his unbelievable

30:43

past life regression well I think as far

30:47

I read tarot but I don't I'm pretty

30:50

skeptical of it and it's mainly when I

30:52

read tarot I'm basically reading people

30:54

yeah that was Nick she use do you think

30:57

oh yeah oh yeah definitely yeah so would

31:01

you say that you could give us a tarot

31:02

card reading with no tarot cards at all

31:04

if I spoke to you for like a couple

31:07

minutes yeah I could like it's it's

31:09

terrible it made I stopped I actually

31:11

had to stop doing it because I felt like

31:12

a bad person because you just sit there

31:13

you judge people they like how my

31:16

relationships going I'm like is this

31:17

lady fuckable like I don't

31:18

do you just like a look on her face and

31:21

see I should be accessing questions a

31:23

ship's going she's like no so what do

31:28

you think it is about Marcus now just

31:30

being be honest here what do you think

31:31

about it is it about Marcus that makes

31:33

him so betrayal you know like why would

31:35

she look at Marcus and be like oh this

31:37

guy he's gonna be betrayed as it is

31:38

fucking this guy over yeah right I think

31:40

it's just that yeah

31:41

nobody gets miserable bastard could

31:43

probably visual Bastion very nice

31:45

gentleman so stupid why why would you

31:46

imagine what qualities do you think that

31:48

he has on his facial features that would

31:49

lead one to betray him

31:51

well he seems like a very nice guy and

31:55

because of that he could be seen as

31:57

naive potentially like oh this guy is

32:00

really easy to screw over that's right

32:02

so yeah I'm gonna get all your money

32:04

yeah how much money you got negative

32:07

fourteen hundred dollars you pay his tax

32:10

form when you go into the tarot reading

32:12

so it came in and so we shovel the deck

32:15

ourselves right because that's what

32:16

you're supposed to like put your

32:17

quote/unquote energy into the tarot card

32:20

right and then she put out in a

32:22

formation of three two then three three

32:26

to them three now what does that mean is

32:28

that just like is that we were

32:29

originally I thought I had some

32:31

knowledge of tarot cards because my

32:33

parents my mom always used to do them

32:35

and I would used to do them when I was a

32:37

little kid because I was a weird gay

32:39

little kid but it's like the what is it

32:41

about time periods right like isn't it

32:44

it's like three one three three two

32:47

three and then she did a layer on top of

32:49

that afterwards so it was like a general

32:51

reading and then is it more specific is

32:52

that what you do it really depends on

32:55

the psychic because that doesn't sound

32:56

like a standard spread that's have been

32:58

something she came up with I think that

33:00

she just gave me three sets of three I

33:02

really I didn't did you get the three

33:04

two three I think I got the three sets

33:06

of three yeah I don't think I got the

33:07

three two three I think she gave you a

33:09

different special treatment and I would

33:11

imagine it's just the size of the table

33:13

probably one second just one set of one

33:16

yeah absolutely is like not for you I

33:19

wonder if she didn't try to spice it up

33:21

with you a little bit I don't know

33:23

does it just seems like would you jazz

33:25

it up for specific people uh I really

33:27

like somebody I'd probably do like more

33:28

complicated spread yeah I think she was

33:31

flirting with me

33:32

it's very part 1 of 3 - 3 the possible

33:34

to cut off I imagine if there was any

33:36

other tarot card psychics in the room

33:38

they'd be like she's still 1 2 3 2 3

33:40

that's what she it has to be the 3 2 3

33:43

we had to have all gotten the 3 2 3

33:45

because we made she made us get 16 cards

33:48

so it had to have been two groups of

33:50

eight Wow well there we go

33:52

you just am not very observant you

33:54

didn't look at the cards you said you

33:55

were looking at her face I looked

33:56

straight at her face I was listening to

33:58

her voice

33:58

and I was a beginning it to get an

34:00

erection one of the softest voices I've

34:02

ever was in things you to whenever she

34:04

said marriage in future she kept doing

34:05

this weird sort of pointing at herself

34:07

with her thumb like right on top there's

34:08

like a throne right that's and frankly I

34:11

would marry her because the door was

34:13

cracked open to her living quarters she

34:15

to Huell at screen huge TV and any game

34:18

system you wanted and a cat it was on

34:20

the Tarot Channel yeah it took me it

34:22

shows that she's doing her homework

34:23

she's a c-span of the psychic world

34:25

where just shows of the ten of cups

34:27

that's right

34:29

so have you ever given a reading to

34:30

somebody that was very negative or do

34:33

they tend to always be positive because

34:34

for all intents and purposes - Marcus is

34:36

betrayal

34:37

we had a very nice review is that that

34:40

tends to be the way they go and for $45

34:42

hey I better be good Darren I have given

34:45

a negative review to people but

34:46

depending on how serious the question is

34:48

its positive like this late this is true

34:50

this is actually what made me quit this

34:53

lady this pregnant lady

34:54

I was just wearing at the time comes up

34:56

to me and we're doing the read and I'm

34:58

like what's your question and she's like

35:00

I just want to know if I'm gonna

35:02

miscarry cuz I've lost three already

35:04

holy Lord I flipped out and I did the

35:07

reading and she's totally gonna lose the

35:08

baby but it is Helen oh but you saw them

35:12

yeah yeah I think the ten of abortions

35:14

car holy Lord

35:16

she keeps on going to the wrong doctor

35:18

she can't go to Planned Parenthood to

35:20

give birth

35:24

what's going on you know long did you to

35:26

tarot card readings forth I only did it

35:29

honestly I did I do it on and off now

35:31

but for like money I only did it for

35:33

like three months like okay any longer

35:35

is it just because it's so personal

35:36

process yeah it's so terrible people

35:39

really believe in this and just the

35:41

saddest thing like oh god what's the

35:44

clientele mostly like who is in there is

35:46

it women who have tend to attend to have

35:48

wombs of death man you were a little bit

35:50

out of their luck yeah it's just sad

35:52

people that's why it was like really

35:53

depressing to do because they asked you

35:55

really sad questions like am I gonna be

35:56

healthy again and I'm like oh god you

35:58

guys too much I wish you to ask me if if

36:01

they were gonna make that Arrested

36:02

Development movie they're not say oh no

36:05

where are they yeah well either way I

36:09

saw in the cards

36:10

I also I asked that question at the

36:12

psychic and she was like good question

36:14

let me call Justin Bateman Bateman so

36:17

you would have like cancer stricken

36:19

people in there and their hairs would be

36:21

falling out and major clumps and then

36:24

the cat would be playing with that to

36:25

death and then they would be like so

36:27

when am I gonna be healthy and you

36:28

respond I would always just trying a

36:31

positive advice like that's all I do I'd

36:34

be like oh well you're not healthy now

36:35

because of the anxiety card look it's

36:38

the moon card you're anxious yeah very

36:40

relaxed what is the worst card in the

36:42

deck the worst one well there is a card

36:45

um has like I don't know how to describe

36:48

it it has like a bunch of sores on it

36:50

the ten of swords right is a sort you're

36:52

saying is that means like utter failure

36:53

right yeah and are like an upside down

36:55

son card means failure

36:56

oh yeah cuz sometime because the

36:58

position the cards also mean things too

37:00

and also like you know a night it was

37:02

over one of those cards like also can

37:04

represent a person in your life what's

37:07

the best card to get um well again it

37:10

depends on the situation but the star

37:11

card is really good yeah that's what you

37:13

want that's the one that's like special

37:15

purpose and yeah that's like super

37:16

Mario's I want to go back to this you

37:18

got the tennis swords I believe I got

37:20

the ten of swords yeah I mean I guess I

37:22

know who's not going to be betraying

37:26

what does that mean because he's

37:27

betraying him is gonna be successful oh

37:30

you son

37:33

well fine I just thought I got 10 sores

37:37

pretty cool I love a sauce way to a guns

37:41

nice nice

37:42

oh my goodness well I didn't realize

37:44

that she just completely went over it

37:47

she didn't I have a feeling she didn't

37:49

read the cards at all she probably

37:50

didn't know what they mean they actually

37:53

honestly they looked pretty old though

37:54

they were like super soon as she told me

37:56

they were 17 years old yeah it's pretty

37:59

good pretty good yeah I think it's

38:01

something too I mean not something

38:02

amazing to it but I think there's

38:04

something when you give meaning to a set

38:06

of cards and you give it a random fat

38:08

you get has a random factor of you're

38:11

gonna pull out up pull it out of a like

38:13

of de for a deck you're not gonna know

38:14

what you're pulling out totally and that

38:16

it has sort of the same meaning as like

38:19

reading tea leaves I like reading all

38:21

this stuff where if you believe the

38:23

universe would express itself and sort

38:25

of random action and that would be the

38:26

perfect thing yeah I mean why not it

38:28

just just the random luck of the draw

38:30

not two cards are the same and you you

38:32

pick them out yourself it was kind of

38:34

fun where did you draw from the deck

38:35

because I took most of the cards that

38:36

were close to me and only like two that

38:38

were away I did it all over the dentist

38:40

all over the map yeah me too

38:41

you were all over the map all over it it

38:43

was really trying to think out think the

38:44

universe is probably why I gave me the

38:46

tena fuck you dreadful Beast but yeah

38:50

guys we got to wrap it up here Suba any

38:52

do you have any comment about his past

38:53

life regression because this is amazing

38:55

have you heard of anything like this

38:56

before has life regression only in terms

38:59

of it being fake but like it is whoa

39:01

alright we're gonna have to stop you

39:03

there

39:04

all right ladies and gentlemen it is

39:06

more than real get you got to do that

39:08

get them into soldiers because you're a

39:10

baby I'll just film it just feeling so

39:12

your vacation we're gonna have it on put

39:14

it up yeah yellow out my junk put it up

39:16

as a matter of fact maybe we can bring

39:17

the field recorder out for it uh we said

39:19

I'm actually good yeah yeah let's just

39:20

do it at your house Italy great yeah

39:22

head sure there's nothing going on in my

39:24

house come on over planner out of the

39:26

way we got a big space you can no get

39:27

off yeah I'm Colin will be in the other

39:29

room come on Gigi

39:30

no later fine he loves this show he uh

39:33

he bait my roommate made the UH the logo

39:35

for that he loves us well he's not gonna

39:37

mind Henry naked on the floor

39:39

your ass shit all over all right there's

39:41

been the last podcast on the left for

39:43

Marcus Parks and the madman scientist

39:44

the mad genius the evil doer of all that

39:47

is good yet psychic Henry Zebrowski we

39:50

will talk to you next week I'm looking

39:51

forward to it as a my sex appeal right

39:53

over here

39:53

hey oh yeah ensue bargain well thank you

40:01

[Music]