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The following is a transcript of Episode 14: Chasing the Boogeyman Part II - The Boogeyman Within by The Last Podcast On The Left.

This transcript was based on text automatically generated via YouTube's closed captioning system. If you notice any errors, please feel free to correct them.

TranscriptEdit

00:00

there's no place to escape to this is

00:03

the last talk on the left that's from

00:13

the cannibalism started welcome to the

00:20

program ladies and gentlemen for Marcus

00:21

Parks I'm Ben Kissel with this is always

00:23

the scientist the genius the mastermind

00:25

of all that is evil Japanese Henry

00:28

Zebrowski oh I got the rice in my hair

00:37

rice in my knee I got the sushi belt why

00:41

ambassador Plato's legit two weeks into

00:43

what row did I do this last week we're

00:45

all Kong Hong Kong Japanese in reserve

00:49

oh we're in farther and farther always I

00:52

don't know what I'm not quite sure

00:54

myself either way I mean I know why I'm

00:59

rev races just extremely racist Oh manic

01:02

fan of female soccer and God knows the

01:04

Japanese gals beat the pants out of the

01:06

American seppuku depakote all of them

01:09

subacute the US team that but that's

01:11

something you can't do to somebody else

01:12

is something you do yourself that's

01:14

correct

01:14

oh yeah and as a matter of fact the US

01:16

team did kind of shoot themselves in the

01:17

own foot there so they kind of accepted

01:20

a marital seppuku indeed it was when

01:22

you're shooting yourself to make

01:24

yourself dance in some sort of old-timey

01:26

saloon that's actually a great idea

01:28

perhaps I would have had a better

01:30

two-step if I'd have done that in the

01:31

high school dance yes that's true and

01:33

welcome back to our second of the series

01:35

of in search of the boogey man chasing

01:38

the boogey man ladies and gentlemen so

01:39

in order to chase the boogey man you

01:41

must first understand the boogey man

01:42

inside of yourself yes are we or are we

01:44

not boogie men so today we took a test

01:47

created by what's the names dr. Bob hair

01:49

dr. Bob hair now this is the this is the

01:51

psychological exam given to people to

01:53

see if they're a sociopath or not our

01:55

psycho

01:56

technically it's psychopaths is a PC LR

01:58

which is the test it with it what it

02:00

does it it it gives you various sort of

02:03

abstract situations and then on a scale

02:05

from zero to two you put whether or not

02:08

it applies to you and then if you reach

02:10

a certain number you're a psychopath

02:11

that's correct so we had we

02:13

called in our own expert Molly nephal

02:15

who live in with John nephal is an

02:18

expert on psychopaths holding with

02:21

people why all about clean you know it's

02:23

exactly yeah he's got all those hats

02:25

made an animal skin it's bizarre we you

02:28

know he sleeps upside down

02:29

he keeps he's a cutter anything that

02:32

people don't know about John nephal he's

02:34

a cutter and cuts himself because he

02:36

can't feel feelings interesting yeah any

02:38

hides of buying those studious glasses

02:40

and his sort of liberal demeanor that he

02:42

has feelings because making himself a

02:45

salmon what he does is he's a little he

02:47

dresses up like people and then a and

02:49

then acts like them like what's that

02:50

movie with the Matt Damon uh uh

02:52

Rupert Lily the gimlet what's the codes

02:57

Rupert gettable mr. Ripley that's what

02:59

I'm saying Rupert Romney

03:00

yeah chronic Grindley Grindley

03:02

stephenson visa but he's like that he

03:04

likes to pretend to be other people then

03:06

go around kill them and then take over

03:07

their lives well god no so that's why we

03:09

got his sister to conduct the test

03:10

because she's a great judge of a

03:12

psychopath character and so we've

03:15

already all taken about the twenty

03:16

minute exam and I think we're gonna

03:18

bring Molly in here we don't know what

03:20

the results are

03:20

no I all I know is the results are going

03:22

to be mildly terrifying yeah I'm very

03:25

interested how do you feel what do you

03:26

feel you're gonna uh I'm feeling them in

03:29

the middle of the two of you I'm feeling

03:30

VIN I'm thinking you're on top Henry

03:32

you're on bottom and I'm the lucky

03:33

Pierre I'm afraid

03:39

well I've never been so happy with

03:41

somebody's prediction in my life like

03:43

that alright so what do we want to get

03:45

Joey one get a little pale otter in here

03:47

ladies and gentlemen we're gonna hear

03:49

before we get the gal in here we're

03:51

gonna hear a little bit some of our

03:54

answers from the test for yes all right

03:56

let's take a listen and see how crazy we

03:59

may or may not be I hope this doesn't

04:00

turn you off in the podcast it shouldn't

04:02

because if you're listening to this up

04:04

you got problems and what's it what's a

04:06

website they can get the psychological

04:07

test themselves I just looked up the

04:10

piece P CLR PCL our google it and find

04:13

it for yourself email us at a cc our

04:17

podcast network at gmail.com cc our

04:19

podcast network at CCR dot-com with that

04:23

again shut up

04:24

shut up so you can some asshole took

04:27

cave comedy radio at gmail.com okay I'll

04:29

do that I don't know whose Lebanon

04:32

gallon not well II not I just whoa beats

04:37

in my dreams they never asked that

04:39

question though none of them is she's

04:41

like when you look in the mirror do you

04:42

see a skull laughing if you do I put

04:45

doggy I put a four down for that hi hi

04:49

hello and right on the skull that is you

04:50

all right listen to see what questions

04:52

they do ask I'm gonna say first of all

04:56

first first thing I'm not a psychopath

04:58

um well we're just gonna let the

05:02

statistics decide that so I would

05:05

appreciate you remaining totally

05:07

professional here not a psychopath the

05:10

thing is is that Psychopaths would say

05:12

that well believe me I've been in this

05:15

business a long time I've heard it all

05:16

so you think you're the expert I am the

05:19

expert so are you ready for number one

05:22

fuck yeah you're so confident in your

05:24

gift of gab

05:25

that you believe you could sell flood

05:27

insurance to someone living in the

05:28

Sahara Desert

05:29

actually you remember selling flood

05:31

insurance to this old lady that lived

05:33

near death valley when you were mooching

05:35

off your Aunt Sally in California and

05:36

needed some extra cash you already

05:38

cleaned Aunt Sally out dumb old hag

05:40

thought you were the sweetest lad ha

05:42

fooled her now I give a one awana sir

05:48

just to reiterate zero means I would

05:50

never ever think that yeah one is like

05:52

yeah sometimes maybe and then two was

05:54

like of course yeah so you're saying one

05:56

give me one I'm pretty confident an

05:57

incompetent guy all right glib uh number

06:01 13 you would sneak out frequently you 06:04

once ambushed a flock of sheep with a

06:06

paintball gun

06:07

and you thought it was just the funniest

06:08

thing ever since your parents force you

06:10

to force you to go to church you made

06:12

the best of it by fucking a deacons

06:14

daughter in the bathroom during a sermon

06:18

okay well I did shoot paintballs at a

06:21

did shoot caocao paintball guns but

06:24

never fuck the Deacons daughter in the

06:26

bathroom so I guess what I oh yeah - all

06:29

right

06:29

but definitely I do that is absolutely a

06:32

to number-14 you're 40 years old I don't

06:37

think that sociopathic by the way number

06:41 9 is that your fault that your kid 06:43

almost drowned in your neighbor's pool

06:44

while you were busy talking on the phone

06:46

with that cute girl from down the street

06:47

your ex should have taken them to

06:49

swimming classes or something then this

06:51

wouldn't have happened what was that one

06:56

it's not your fault that your kid almost

06:58

drowned in your neighbor's pool while

07:00

you were busy talking on the phone with

07:01

that cute girl from down the street your

07:03

ex should have taken them to swimming

07:04

classes or something then this wouldn't

07:06

happen she wouldn't be cute but I think

07:08

that uh you know yeah accidents happen

07:11

you know so Sally didn't learn to swim

07:15

you know it's like why did I buy you all

07:17

those lessons I think that the two yeah

07:19

learner is survival my friend he won't

07:24

drown them done for dashi so number two

07:30

yeah you were finally sleeping with your

07:33

latest thing and mid-coitus she screams

07:36

out Oh God

07:37

you think finally someone's calling me

07:40

by my real name

07:41

zero zero you would never think that not

07:45

in sex because then it's just more like

07:48

you know why are you here you know all

07:52

right no qualifications necessary you

07:56

find yourself at a hotel pool with some

07:57

family and you're sitting around a table

07:59

with your CrackBerry ignoring everyone

08:01

else your dipshit little nephew decides

08:03

to shoot you with a squirt gun well

08:05

you're not paying attention

08:06

he then drops a squirt gun and runs for

08:08

safety so you pick up the toy and GIMP

08:10

after him he's about to get in the hot

08:12

tub to hide so you hurl disc work on his

08:14

legs and he goes flying into the hot tub

08:16

ha ha little bastard so just throwing a

08:20

kid no uh that's a it one yes because

08:24

that just sounds like fun

08:26

and the hot tub isn't like boiling hot

08:28

is that I mean I assume it's a

08:29

regulation and if it's if it's

08:31

regulation the kids but yeah come on

08:33

just what you do with I don't know to to

08:37

it's just what you do with the kids are

08:40

there for all right got it

08:42

noted number 12 was it could you read it

08:45

one more time because I was only paying

08:47

attention like half of it

08:48

number fourteen you're 40 years old old

08:51

overweight and fresh out of prison you

08:54

spend all day watching TV or sleeping

08:56

and you're still telling everyone how

08:58

you're going to be a professional

08:59

swimmer and win medals and shit you've

09:01

been saying this since you were

09:02

convinced your group since you convinced

09:04

your girlfriend in college you were

09:05

going to try out for the Olympic swim

09:06

team and you haven't been to a pool in

09:08

years

09:09

no because it's like how is that even an

09:12

enjoyable lie obviously not my uh I've a

09:17

retarded brother thinks he's still gonna

09:19

be a football coach it's just like it's

09:20

not gonna happen any hoot so no no

09:23

swimming in this guy's future number

09:24

five you just started a new job and

09:27

you're sucking up to the boss and a few

09:29

of your other uppers you've also started

09:31

working on your boss's secretary and she

09:34

has insider information on the company's

09:36

workings and once in a blue moon you

09:38

stop by the head honchos desk for a chat

09:40

and you're convinced he has the hots for

09:43

you after you've gotten your support

09:45

system secure you subtly sabotage your

09:48

supervisor with dirty gossip and the

09:50

like you plan to have his job in three

09:52

months if all goes well yeah just like

09:55

your last job damn you're clever hmm

09:59

zero

10:00

that's not now no I do like gossip who

10:05

doesn't

10:05

after you've gotten your support system

10:07

secure you subtly sabotage your

10:10

supervisor with dirty gossip and the

10:12

like you plan to have his job in three

10:14

months if all goes well yeah just like

10:16

your last job dan you're clever

10:24

well thrilled Dix I'd say probably 1 or

10:27 2 1 or 2 and 1 ads ok 1 1 yeah because 10:32

if they're nice people I probably

10:33

wouldn't do it but if they were all

10:35

dicks you know what I'm talking about

10:37

ha ha for some odd reason your boyfriend

10:40

convinced you that going to the zoo and

10:41

having monkeys fling their own fecal

10:43

matter at you would be enjoyable not 10

10:45

minutes into the adventure you're

10:46

painfully bored and practically dragging

10:48

your significant other past the exhibits

10:50

then you come upon a pane of glass that

10:52

was cracked held together by packaging

10:54

tape and imprisoning a silverback

10:57

gorilla your significant other is off

10:59

looking at other animals and no one else

11:01

is in the building

11:02

without a second thought you grab a

11:04

large rack out of the snapping turtle

11:05

enclosure and throw you grab your

11:08

significant other and run out screaming

11:09

the gorilla escaped you delightedly

11:12

watch the mass hysteria and Sue and

11:14

think okay so maybe the trip wasn't a

11:17

total loss I do enjoy that story and I'm

11:19

very impulsive might throw that rock and

11:21

everybody wants to see a silverback of a

11:23

good time don't you think

11:25

uh is that it - I guess so I can't I'm

11:28

an impartial expert I suppose it - but I

11:31

mean it seems like a fun thing to do I

11:33

think that that's - your dad just died

11:36

earlier this morning and your mom is all

11:38

distraught over the matter after a few

11:40

hours of pained expressions and fake

11:42

tears for the visiting mourners you

11:44

wander over to the living room to watch

11:45

some TV then mom comes in looking for

11:48

comfort and sobbing on your shoulder if

11:50

were any other occasion you'd pat on the

11:52

shoulder and pretend to care but your

11:54

favorite show is on and that's the last

11:55

episode of the season so you tell her to

11:57

get a hold of herself and pipe down for

11:59

a damn minute because she's driving you

12:01

nuts oh because daddy's death was just

12:03

so sad and you want to take it take your

12:05

mind off it zero yeah who was that

12:08

testing

12:09

lack of empathy number eight

12:12

your dad just died earlier this morning

12:15

and your mom is all distraught over the

12:17

matter after a few hours and pained

12:19

expressions and fake tears for the

12:21

visiting mourners you wander over to the

12:23

living room to watch some TV then mom

12:26

comes in looking for comfort and sobbing

12:28

on your shoulder if it were any other

12:30

occasion you'd pat around the shoulder

12:31

and pretend to care but your favorite

12:33

show is on and it's the last episode of

12:34

the season so you tell her to get a hold

12:36

of

12:37

self and pipe down for a damn minute

12:38

because she's driving you nuts

12:40

oh because daddy's death was just so sad

12:43

and you want to take your mind off it

12:44

I mean you know I guess if your mother's

12:49

morning you have to give her a few

12:51

minutes to like cry like a 1 I don't

12:56

know it's just you it seems like you be

12:57

a little bit overbearing are i same time

12:59

no forget this area underneath my belly

13:01

but son never goes there keep it in

13:03

welcome back ladies all right we got

13:07

Molly nephal so Molly you have inquired

13:10

upon all of us what what we do and do

13:13

not want to do is force a lot of things

13:15

it's an interesting test it's an

13:16

interesting test it's a bit of a leading

13:18

I don't know but we talked about it

13:21

during our segment where was I don't

13:23

know whether or not you're supposed to

13:25

it's supposed to be you're supposed to

13:27

sell it to the Psychopaths or it's

13:29

supposed to be like a motionlessly read

13:31

the words do sell themselves though I

13:33

mean it says ha fooled her so even if

13:36

you read that emotionless I think this

13:39

is a test designed to lead you towards

13:41

what the right answer is but despite

13:44

that is there a right answer Molly well

13:46

depending on whether you thinks

13:48

sociopathy is acceptable or not it

13:51

depends yeah can I just I know I'm

13:53

professional and I'm completely neutral

13:55

yeah you troll can I say that I am not

13:57

at all surprised by the results I want

14:01

to know what that means so let's say you

14:03

um I guess should we just do a question

14:06

by question or do we want to go through

14:07

just an overall analysis of each person

14:10

individually let's see let's do you tell

14:14

us her overall scores and then tell us

14:15

what are the questions that had the

14:16

biggest differences sure I what I can

14:19

give you guys as your scores and I can

14:21

give you a limited amount of statistical

14:23

analysis of who of you because there was

14:26

questions it seemed like you all went

14:29

one way you all want the other way and

14:31

then the ones where you didn't are

14:32

interested that's a fantastic eye and so

14:34

from what can you give us the overall

14:35

breakdown I know I'm very terrified

14:38

terrified right now

14:39

am i a terrible person let me know piece

14:42

of 20 questions

14:43

I felt really vulnerable it was unfair

14:47

because I don't want people to know what

14:49

believe what kind of snakes actually

14:50

lurk in a bag of meat that is my head oh

14:53

it's terrifying so what's the overall

14:56

scale though zero to blank is normal and

14:59

what like what is that what would it be

15:00

to be sociopaths and what is it to be

15:02

normal

15:02

let's get the scores for all that I

15:04

don't like it I want to get the the

15:06

thing okay yeah I think the closest to

15:08

zero is the more normal you okay there's

15:12 20 questions and 2 is the maximum that 15:15

you could so if you had 40 you would be

15:17

like a full-on sociopath okay but you

15:19

would be rude you like you would be able

15:20

to take the table you feel like you're

15:21

order for right as you sat down to take

15:25

a test yeah yeah

15:26

yes zero to 40 is our skill yeah I'm a

15:29

fucking answer questions like it's just

15:31 - yeah I'm a fuck my own ass I did good 15:33

there other brackets where it's like

15:36

from like 0 to 20 x 0 to 10 10 to 20 0

15:41

to 10 convenience store workers and the

15:43 20 comedian way to the 30 convenience 15:47

store worker and then 30 to 40 is just

15:49

you don't need no job fucking killer

15:52

yeah at my and my materials I don't have

15:54

any breakdowns but I think that I really

15:57

think the results will speak for

15:58

themselves alright

15:59

should I give you the winner first and

16:01

when I say winner do I mean the most

16:02

let's just a loser first and we'll bring

16:05

the winner in laugh

16:06

that means the Lisa Lisa sociopath

16:08

congratulations Henry Zebrowski oh come

16:12

on we knew that Henry why everyone thank

16:16

God I knew that people want people

16:19

wanted it interesting an interesting

16:20

ending were to be turned out like Molly

16:23

would leave and then the police would

16:25

show up and I be getting carried away by

16:27

police officers going like I'm in what

16:32

you're caught Henry they have you Pat

16:34

Nixon thought it was going to be you but

16:35

I knew that it wouldn't be you and you

16:37

are the winner in the sense that you're

16:39

the least sociopathic line up later

16:42

coming in at runner-up Markus Park yeah

16:45 [Music] 16:47

congratulations I told you I'd be the

16:49

lucky Pierre oh you're uh always a

16:54

bridesmaid never a bride

16:55

and the winner the crazy bride it's

16:58

definitely not the winner Kissel the

17:00

bridezilla you are the most sociopathic

17:02

person in this room right now

17:04

very good but where are the scores all

17:06

right but so Henry got a big 7 Wow oh

17:10

you got big 7 why'd you say 0 2

17:13

everything because I don't feel all

17:15

those things when your fucking mother is

17:17

crying and it's like shut up mom you're

17:20

a psychopath

17:21

well there's some evidence what it is

17:23

that's what it is yeah I would just like

17:25

to continue to Pat myself on the back I

17:27

knew it was gonna be been all along

17:28

Marcus you got a nine a nine not bad I

17:32

think you need a healthy dose of

17:35

sociopathy to make it in this washer

17:37

yeah are you ready to you're been score

17:40

guys got a 9 bed Kissel coming in 17

17:45

points Wow the tiger would psychopathy

17:49

so you possibly get under a den whose

17:53

same Blaine is what you're crazy people

17:55

we're like we weren't lying we're lying

17:57

no no I know if you lie on a psychopath

18:02

test that makes you a psychopath well

18:05

you're crazy that but I figured that I

18:07

actually predicted you that you would

18:09

throw it that you would answer questions

18:10

dishonestly but I can say that you did

18:12

not I feel like when we say that I did

18:15

an accountant I'm a socio fucking Pat or

18:18

not a psychopath

18:19

you're not one now no 17 still is pretty

18:21

good out of a scale of 40 yeah just

18:23

compared to Markus and Henry yeah they

18:26

were faking it you guys were both faking

18:28

it but oh I love everything okay I don't

18:32

love everything I love my mother your

18:35

mother doesn't even know you exist

18:37

haha you were never a boy you were made

18:40

Lissa I love thy parents and I would

18:43

join them in a grieving process bin yeah

18:45

but it's like shut the fuck up all right

18:49

dad all right now you guys may think

18:51

that you're not seeing eye to eye right

18:53

now but amazingly you answered a lot of

18:55

the questions pretty similar so I would

18:57

like to share with you what I found

18:58

the big the top scores amongst all three

19:01

of you poor behavioral controls yeah the

19:05

big guy yeah yeah awesome yeah all three

19:08

of you because you with your annoying

19:11

nephew do it I was like yeah of course I

19:13

do the fucking thing into yeah that was

19:15

my that was one of my twos as well yeah

19:16

I scored lowest what did I score hundred

19:19

highest for poor behavior controls that

19:21

was an fu one you were like I'm throwing

19:23

that fucker in the in the hot tub and

19:25

these two were like well maybe a little

19:26

bit but not for sure well no I mean

19:28

that's what you do to children they want

19:30

you to do that

19:31

the thing is scariest thing anyone's

19:33

ever said bears don't treat Cubs gently

19:36

that's right I mean yeah if you're gonna

19:38

raise a bear you gotta act like a bear

19:40

to the child yeah examine it does that

19:42

make sense oh my God he's Road I got

19:44

thrown in the bodies of water all the

19:46

time for acting like a shit what's

19:47

different though you grew up in Texas

19:48

yeah Rosenberg that's where we're we

19:50

fucking do it right we're finding a body

19:52

of water was also lucky Oh bro you have

19:56

no idea how spot on your another top

19:59

scorer was early behavioral problems

20:01

which is you know not surprising that's

20:03

acting like a douche when you're younger

20:05

irresponsibility not acting like a

20:07

douche acting like the coolest kid in a

20:09

Thunderbird

20:10

actually yeah what would you call the

20:12

guy with the sunglasses of the movie

20:13

summer school right coolest kid who yeah

20:18

the one with the smokes oh yeah loved

20:20

him fucking suck his dick why not

20:23

I wish I wouldn't ever say wouldn't suck

20:27

his dick I we were friends he's

20:29

aggressive fun hey big gay which was a

20:35

gay test well I think I let my hair down

20:38

haha so irresponsibility was also hi

20:42

everyone scoring some points there and

20:44

then juvenile delinquency Ben and Marcus

20:47

both twos Henry Zebrowski zero I was a

20:50

good kid I was not very good yeah

20:53

terrible kid over here I think something

20:55

about the small town you up in winner

20:56

yeah yeah I was a good kid that bad no I

20:59

was a little fat like I read I was a

21:01

very intense

21:02

sort of scary haunted eyes child like I

21:06

would do lots of that where I'd like

21:07

stay up in the night and be like guide

21:09

go I'd walk the local library when I was

21:11

like nine and get books out on

21:13

demonology room sitting reading a book

21:15

on demonology by myself I was not a

21:16

library and like did the security guard

21:19

walks up is like son you think you

21:21

should be reading that I was like I like

21:23

to study the things I fear hilarious

21:28

yeah I mean sorry speaking of which I

21:30

feel like that's a good segue to the

21:32

things that you all scored zeroes at

21:34

yeah the things that you all score

21:37

zeroes grandiose sense of self-worth

21:39

that's good you believe in yourself

21:44

whatsoever haha although a promiscuous

21:47

Ness 0 that slutty of people

21:51

I mean Marcus is more slutty but Marcus

21:53

is reformed alright well you would be

21:55

what if you were with somebody wouldn't

21:57

cheat on them not mark that's always

21:58

good because of the same woman that ever

22:00

you attractive chicken high school is

22:02

slutty they just you're they're given

22:03

tons of opportunities to be so yeah I

22:05

have no option to be slutty I've never

22:08

even liked joy just like fancy my brain

22:10

be like I'm just better than that yeah I

22:12

really got true that no one wants a fuck

22:14

I almost said that College was a lot of

22:16

fun well that's fine that I lived alone

22:19

I just lived in a state of zen-like

22:22

aloneness right for a long time in

22:24

people yeah I was like oh look at his

22:26

self-control you know nobody thought

22:27

that

22:28

yeah but they just saw me and what I was

22:30

doing by myself in that room

22:32

well I didn't know if popcorn was a

22:34

woman holy Lord certainly come in a

22:36

whole series of it if masturbation was

22:38

relationships man I would have would had

22:41

thousands of relational I have three a

22:43

day on that note you all surprisingly

22:46

I'll say scored zeroes and impulsivity

22:49

well it's not the whole thing with the

22:51

kid throwing and with I used to poop

22:53

that we are that we scored on him

22:55

Zippity though this is about sexy

22:57

impulsivity that's where you meet the

23:00

sexy thing at the bar then you move her

23:02

into your house none of you would do

23:03

this well mover into the half course not

23:05

that you know big of a pain in the ass

23:06

that would be I mean yeah you know I met

23:08

the sexy thing at the GAR sexy girl at

23:10

the bar and while all right let's take

23:12

her home and fucker right but not that

23:14

haver

23:15

move in but it's more like manic

23:16

behavior its manic behavior it's it's

23:19

taking someone it you you get a

23:21

relationship and then it's like you fall

23:23

in fucking love with them and then you

23:24

want to get married and bring them in

23:25

your house you wanna like duels like us

23:27

you're a psychopath

23:28

yeah a psychopath could just what does

23:30

your Lana doesn't mean your psychopath

23:31

Henry what no but yes yes if you are

23:35

like Oh path there are forms of romance

23:37

that is psychopathology I'm saying you

23:40

can't bring a chick over your house when

23:41

you have children dead bodies all over

23:44

the fucking chamber you're right it's

23:46

Gramps your style you can't do it

23:47

well and never bring disgusting idea the

23:50

last one you guys all scored nothing at

23:52

was many short-term marital

23:54

relationships so it seems like you guys

23:56

are all monogamists yeah hey fellows so

23:59

I mean I guess you're saying you can't

24:01

bring ladies over if you got dead bodies

24:03

stored everywhere but it seems like even

24:06

if you're a psychopath you still got a

24:07

lot of you know soup's on the stove or

24:11

whatever the saying is we're long ass

24:12

fingers in the soups things in the zoo I

24:15

mean everybody knows it I just love a

24:19

cold soup and I like a hot soup so

24:22

really none of us are that that crazy

24:25

well you are Ben all right but what was

24:29

the bull is the one that what's the

24:31

craziest part what was the what what's

24:33

the difference what's the question it

24:34

was the craziest question that Ben said

24:36

Ben said yes to and that none of you did

24:39

it instead of immediately guess - well

24:41

the only one Ben said well okay so

24:44

here's one Ben said - and the motive

24:46

both you set zero and that was a failure

24:49

to take responsibility for your own

24:51

actions so that's when the kid drowned

24:53

that makes fucking it that makes some

24:56

fucking learn how to swim you did it all

24:59

the time learn how to swim though and

25:01

it's like I am the only thing I hated

25:03

about that question was because you're

25:04

on the phone with some hot damn it's

25:06

like fuck the day I'm just like watching

25:08

something I'm doing something you got to

25:10

know how to swim if you're gonna go to

25:12

the pool who does that who's in the

25:14

water that or a swim - points closer to

25:17

a psychopath well they die you

25:19

understand I'm no Casey Anthony I'm just

25:22

saying sometimes babies drown in pools

25:23

and he's probably learn to fucking swim

25:25

before they jump in them you also had

25:26

high

25:27

and need for stimulation and no remorse

25:29

higher than these two I remember yeah

25:32

why had I responded no remorse though

25:34

yeah I mean what's the point

25:36

Marc Accetta latter amorous but Marcus

25:39

does have a lot of room around oh yeah

25:40

I'm a I'm a guilt ridden ban that's the

25:43

thing you'll come up with something to

25:44

eat in like sixth grade and like I'm

25:46

just shattered today why I didn't like

25:50

his bologna sandwich I call it a gay

25:52

sandwich you see I got out from

25:53

underneath the quavering shadow of

25:55

Christ on the cross so I don't feel

25:57

these feelings anymore that I'm not even

26:00

a Catholic I don't know that just in you

26:02

that's just the start going to church

26:03

it's a family thing I mean we all do

26:06

feel a little bit of remorse or regret

26:07

but mostly just regret the like they

26:09

didn't love me enough yeah that's the

26:12

thing that hurts I wish I just wish they

26:14

would have got me more me regret is

26:16

their fault

26:17

ya know they're my regret hero and

26:19

grandiose sense of self-worth that's why

26:21

yeah yeah it's got a fun that's nice sad

26:25

I'm gonna let it kids around not gonna

26:28

feel bad about it but I don't feel good

26:30

about myself I don't think about that

26:32

you lucky bastard at the bottom of my

26:34

pool you would no longer have to live in

26:37

this terrible world is very interesting

26:38

so in our chasing the boogey man we did

26:40

not find him here did not find him here

26:42

not sailing not really I mean here

26:45

low-level psychopath in Somali what is

26:47

your overall synopsis all my overall so

26:50

that yes if you would have to like you

26:52

know if you would have to like recommend

26:54

one of us to date your daughter she's a

26:55

nice girl

26:56

god no she's studious she's smart and

26:59

John's never even looked at her so she's

27:02

pure of heart and yeah what who you

27:05

again who grew up with and why I'm doing

27:07

really well right now I'm upwardly

27:08

mobile I

27:09

well that was gonna say Ben I'm not ever

27:12

gonna let you babysit my children good

27:15

idea

27:15

busy too busy to do it anyway

27:19

yours um ah I mean like going just off

27:25

the test I gotta say Henry obvious

27:27

choice Henry is the obvious choice and

27:30

dream I want someone your daughter's

27:31

gonna be happy with you it's Matt he's

27:33

gonna be bald just mine

27:35

listen man glint in the eye of kamusta

27:38

vez mischievousness and also a slight

27:40

levity you know I mean pink wonderfully

27:43

white yeah it's a little like bacon fat

27:45

the city thin but you know I get slotted

27:47

to win a wink and a smile you think at

27:49

any point I could disappear shoot up a

27:51

chimney is he magic will I have will I

27:56

have my daughter date a young Santa

27:58

Claus

27:58

imagine that I'm Santa Claus as a hip as

28:02

a hip 20 minute 20 by the time my

28:05

daughter's old enough to date Henry's

28:06

gonna be far too old for her all of you

28:08

will help a waiter younger with age I'm

28:11

very good-looking you each have your

28:13

merits let's put it that way

28:14

Marcus is charmingly irresponsible yeah

28:18

all right I think it's go straight