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The following is a transcript of Episode 16: Creepypasta by The Last Podcast On The Left.

This transcript was based on text automatically generated via YouTube's closed captioning system. If you notice any errors, please feel free to correct them.

TranscriptEdit

00:00

there's no place to escape to this is

00:03

the last podcast on the left that's one of

00:09

the cannibalism started welcome to the

00:16

program ladies and gentlemen this is the

00:17

last podcast on the left that was a

00:20

beautiful beautiful little tune sung by

00:23

the two most attractive gentlemen I've

00:24

ever seen I only say that because today

00:26

we're recording in the dark and later on

00:29

but in the dark

00:30

ah absolutely this is amazing for Marcus

00:33

Parks I've been Kissel how are you mr.

00:35

scientist Oh

00:38

cowabunga oh yeah yeah it's my what did

00:42

I do hold McNeeley fucking stupid

00:44

catchphrase I don't know man I hate that

00:46

that I did that I know it sucks and it's

00:48

like in my fucking head now yeah it's

00:50

forever gonna live on the Internet yeah

00:51

like Holden will listen to this and he's

00:53

probably just gonna get a huge erection

00:55

if you don't know Holden gives him one

00:57

cappy's me mookie boo so he talks to

01:01

himself speaking of the Internet today

01:03

we are focusing on the horror world that

01:06

exists online and you know if the

01:08

Internet has given us nothing other than

01:10

pornography it has given us horror yes

01:12

and uh there are stories that live

01:14

online now that were that were lost on

01:16

many many generations of children and

01:19

now we get to read them again and

01:20

they're fresh in the renewed and they're

01:22

instilling terror and fear into an

01:24

entirely new group of youths so the best

01:26

part is that maybe not the best part

01:29

probably technically the worst part but

01:30

there's a lot of fake horror you know

01:33

there's a lot of core stuff that's just

01:34

like there to scare you and it's fun

01:35

yeah but the thing about the internet

01:36

too is because it's an anonymous way of

01:39

communicating if you want to be

01:40

especially on 4chan the fucking dark

01:43

seedy underbelly of the internet that if

01:46

you go on random on 4chan like you'll

01:49

see certain stuff where it's you know

01:50

you'll see you know porn and then yeah

01:52

can you explain to the audience it the

01:54

number folks I was trying to find it I

01:56

literally number 4chan CH a n fits for

01:59

chant 4chan org and then you get to the

02:02

random you have to scroll down and click

02:04

on random and it's called B being by the

02:06

way it's a lot like it's nowhere near as

02:08

bad as it used to be no I know that I

02:10

remember it all was it like

02:12

those rotten dot-coms it's worse than

02:14

that the worst is that if in the in the

02:16

it's just like the last place where you

02:19

know you you go in there and you'll see

02:21

you know a girl squirting which is fine

02:24

you know you'll see porn that's good and

02:26

then you'll see a guy's fucking hand in

02:28

a shredder and then you'll see somebody

02:30

with like you'll see a decapitated head

02:32

boy like words like squirting blood

02:33

though so it's still pretty hot it's

02:35

pretty hot no but like you'll see you

02:37

know they have like I was scrolling

02:39

through there the other day and it's

02:40

just lots of like execution videos like

02:42

they like we're all the writing that

02:44

leaks from like Al Jazeera of like

02:45

people being held at murder on tape

02:47

perhaps this is one of the the websites

02:49

that broke the the Pearl Daniel Pearl

02:52

when he was beheaded yeah that is a that

02:54

it's definitely existed on 4chan so

02:57

there ya there is a very true creepy

03:00

world that still exists of course right

03:02

the internet gives it a voice like that

03:04

be on 4chan especially there's just

03:07

there's a place there where you can get

03:11

it it happens those dark things that

03:14

happen and it will say you will record

03:15

you want to tread lightly with the real

03:17

stuff I never liked the faces of death I

03:19

can sit there every single saw I think

03:21

the comedies of the year every time you

03:23

know I think they're hilarious but when

03:24

it comes to the real torture stuff I saw

03:25

one beheading and I'll never watch one

03:27

again and it sticks with you forever

03:29

yeah it's like the Frog I shoot I saw a

03:31

guy shoot himself in the face yeah it's

03:33

like that video of like the congressman

03:35

shooting himself in the page oh the

03:36

public when you did it in public yet

03:38

when he did it call the cat and also the

03:40

person who sent it to me did not tell me

03:41

what was gonna happen she was just she

03:43

was just like here look at that look at

03:44

this and it was boom and I broke up with

03:46

her very soon I have a very similar

03:48

situation Marcus you sent me a video

03:50

called the prune Brothers yeah you had a

03:52

chance to google the prune brothers I'll

03:53

tell you they they've been helping out

03:55

elderly ladies uh who since 2011 w-9

03:59

yeah that nine that was a good year for

04:01

making people shit so yeah the

04:04

Internet's full of real-life horrific

04:05

things and uh and it's a it's a

04:08

beautiful and there's also some there's

04:10

also some fantastic stories that aren't

04:11

necessarily disgusting and that's what

04:13

we're gonna focus on today which is a

04:15

phenomenon known as creepypasta it's old

04:17

hat to some new hats for know to have

04:20

hats yeah that's creepypasta it's like

04:23

it's like when you went over to your

04:24

aunt's house and you're like

04:25

for dinner and she's like posture hey

04:27

maybe I can go today again coming out of

04:30

Regina to work exactly um that why is

04:33

there why is there pasta in this pubic

04:35

hair there's no reason for it just give

04:37

me the pubic hair please please you know

04:39

how I like to fork it up um but there we

04:42

were talking about this too so a lot of

04:43

this stuff comes from like it'll be

04:44

scary stories that you've heard before

04:46

in different form and a lot about the

04:49

best part about being being on the

04:50

Internet is that when you're home by

04:54

yourself and you're stoned or you're

04:56

drunk and you're sitting there and you

04:59

can just you just creep yourself the

05:01

fuck out because there's just so much

05:03

more of the way they design it now to

05:05

which is so much more like oh my friend

05:08

saw this and so it's like this weird

05:10

sort of hearsay of course and then you

05:12

kind of have the added sort of vagueness

05:14

of the Internet where proof is hazy

05:16

anyway and it's very tough to tell if

05:18

you're going to get somebody getting

05:19

shot in the face if you're going to get

05:21

Daniel Pearl being beheaded or if you're

05:22

gonna get the most adorable kitten

05:23

playing with yarn yeah you know so which

05:25

is like a okay my bison brothers yeah

05:28

you actually just described be

05:29

completely that is what that's exactly

05:31

what it'll be like kitten kitten vagina

05:34

upper blood Pokemon yeah but then it's

05:38

before channel so as a board of the

05:41

paranormal board which is X which is

05:44

looking great just say paranormal I know

05:46

it is hidden that's what they just say

05:48

just that's okay yeah but the paranormal

05:52

board is so fucking interesting because

05:54

you just have a lot of you know newfags

05:57

if you want to say in terms of just like

05:59

people just like looking for attention

06:00

and then you'll just have some genuine

06:03

really fucked up stuff on there and and

06:06

it's a lot of and because they're all

06:08

hackers too and a lot of them are just

06:10

bored 14 year-olds that go get into

06:13

depth with some crazy shit you know like

06:16

someone will put up a picture of stuff

06:18

like you'll see a lot of like fun or

06:20

pictures and like bit like ghost

06:22

pictures and so right UFO footage and

06:25

all that stuff's a lot of fun and then

06:26

you'll see just normal dumb shit I know

06:29

I'm of the mind the same thing with like

06:30

horror films it's like like the Texas

06:33

Chainsaw Massacre The Exorcist people

06:36

would be like it's real it's real like

06:37

all this stuff and like I don't even

06:38

care if it could be

06:40

all lies as long as you spin a good yarn

06:41

and you really get me scared that's all

06:44

that matters that's only one all I want

06:45

is to be scared and I think ghosts are

06:47

established enough in society and

06:49

throughout the history of people that

06:51

you know if you don't believe in ghosts

06:53

you ain't reading the right books my

06:54

friend yeah yeah they get afraid of

06:57

ghosts because what if the fucking ghost

06:59

is real that's real is gonna help you

07:01

well speak it speaking of books I was

07:03

reading a lot of this creepy pasta that

07:04

you worse enemy and a lot of these where

07:07

uh where I first heard like a lot of

07:09

these urban legends and like pass down

07:11

stories and all that was a book called a

07:13

book series called scary stories to tell

07:15

in the dark Jeremy the pictures for

07:17

pictures where the book your mother read

07:19

to you while you were in the womb though

07:22

the pictures uh were and still are

07:25

absolutely terrified I'm the most

07:27

devastatingly scary stuff I used to say

07:29

I'd be so late at night and read it and

07:31

scare the shit out of myself and I I had

07:33

the audio book only imagine like the guy

07:37

that was read there was this book called

07:38

a martyr this story called Martin it was

07:41

about these three this person hanging

07:42

out at this house by themselves oh yeah

07:45

I primatte and there was like these

07:47

three cats that you know this these cats

07:49

keep coming and someone just kept saying

07:51

just wait til Martin calm and they kept

07:55

coming and then eventually Martin is a

07:57

gigantic cat and like kills or something

07:59

I can nothing it's all I will be as

08:01

scary as the bill to yet nothing will be

08:04

as scary some weird ass dude saying wait

08:06

tell Martin comms just waiting for

08:09

Sheneneh yeah you know you got real

08:14

crazy I'll get it up are times ever yeah

08:17

that's great I am you know I forget I

08:19

was gonna say we're eccentric but I like

08:22

now to in modern times though is that it

08:26

I love that blending of what is real and

08:29

what's actually scary because yeah now

08:31

there's so much there's so much

08:33

weirdness happen because of a 24/7

08:35

fucking news cycle and the horrible

08:36

things that happen in the world are

08:38

constantly broadcast by our news

08:40

companies that are desperate for ratings

08:42

and attention which is that 30 30 new 30

08:45

dead Marines were today and it's always

08:47

funny when the news media comes down

08:49

we're like we got terrible news breaking

08:50

news and you can just see in their

08:52

brains ratings or go

08:53

now yeah like we love it we absolutely

08:55

love salary goes in Afghanistan or the

08:57

picture that give the story of this

08:59

Hussey guy this Orthodox Jewish guy

09:02

picked up a character yeah off the

09:04

street and just cut him up in little

09:06

pieces just cuz just cuz he was panicked

09:09

and then like you know like so there's

09:11

all these real-life horror stories that

09:12

are already happening that are way out

09:14

in the open and that's why for news

09:16

I mean ghosts are just like a little hug

09:19

from the gods compared to like what

09:21

human beings have done to other human

09:22

beings I've never once ever heard of a

09:24

ghost taking a small Jewish boy chopping

09:26

him up and put him in his freezer

09:27

because everybody knows ghosts enjoy

09:29

warm food I just I love it too and then

09:33

but up well so like true life stories

09:35

when you hear that just sound like scary

09:37

stories like when John Wayne Gacy the

09:40

stories of John Wayne Gacy like doing

09:42

his magic handcuffs trick magic

09:45

handcuffs tricks so fuckin nuts really I

09:48

met there like as always like no it's

09:50

not magic whatsoever and then he just

09:52

fucking hits you the lead pipe and then

09:54

those real videos to of real death also

09:56

just shows how undramatic death is how

09:59

quick and immediate and that you're

10:01

alive and bam you're fuckin dead it's

10:03

like there's no build-up there's no

10:05

suspense you're just fuckin debt which

10:07

is also very interesting absolutely John

10:09

Wayne Gacy if you get a chance I will

10:11

plughole Domini Lee's uh Twitter is that

10:13

murderous Twitter again the murder fest

10:15

they're doing a fantastic job of just

10:17

puttin serial killer quotes up there

10:19

which in my opinion that's the that was

10:20

the entire reason Twitter was invented

10:22

uh and John Wayne Gacy is a great one

10:25

that just says the only thing I'm guilty

10:26

of is running a unlicensed mortuary

10:28

because how twenty eight kids in his

10:30

crawlspace that's the only thing that he

10:33

could be like I you can get me on that I

10:35

can see where I made a mistake there I

10:36

should've gone to the proper people I

10:38

mean that's the thing so I guess right

10:41

now we're gonna want you to go okay this

10:43

is serious

10:44

we won't yet pause the podcast the

10:46

podcast smoke the biggest blunt you can

10:48

get the size of a burrito and if you

10:50

listen to top at that's a callback

10:51

ladies and gentlemen yeah I the size of

10:54

a large burrito and just get or

10:57

mushrooms

10:58

eat a mushroom here I mean like smoke

11:01

like drink something shut off all the

11:03

lights like this is good if you're by

11:04

yourself this isn't a train at

11:06

so this is a sitting in your house

11:08

episode you know I mean like got a

11:11

commute episode yeah so we're gonna

11:13

we're gonna read some stories to you

11:15

that's right we want to get real with it

11:17

and they're just you know they're fun

11:19

and I think they are I think some of

11:21

them are very true I think some of them

11:23

are absolutely real because you just

11:25

don't you just don't know all right so

11:26

you go get blazed we're gonna sit here

11:28

and get blazed and we'll talk to you in

11:29

a second okay all right so let's start

11:38

this um all right so I'm gonna start

11:41

with a with a short true story called

11:43

camping all right so here we go a few

11:47

months ago a friend of mine who is an

11:48

up-and-coming nature photographer

11:50

decided to spend a day and night alone

11:51

in the woods outside of our town she

11:53

wanted to get pictures of the woods and

11:55

Wildlife as naturally as she could for

11:57

her portfolio she wasn't afraid of being

11:59

alone as she had camped by herself many

12:01

times before she set up a tent in the

12:03

middle of a small clearing and spent the

12:05

day taking pictures she filled up four

12:07

rolls of film on that trip but when she

12:09

went and got them developed she saw four

12:10

pictures that unsettled her these four

12:12

pictures were taken from inside the tent

12:14

of her asleep in the middle of the night

12:17

that is awesome

12:20

all right this is it this is a story

12:22

called the statue a few years ago a

12:28

mother and a father decided they needed

12:30

a break so they wanted to head out for a

12:33

night on the town they called their most

12:36

trusted babysitter when the babysitter

12:38

arrived the two children were already

12:41

fast asleep in bed so the babysitter

12:42

just got to sit around and make sure

12:45

everything was okay with the children

12:47

later than night the baby sort of got

12:50

bored and went to watch TV but she

12:53

couldn't watch it downstairs because

12:54

they didn't have cable downstairs the

12:56

parents in want children watched too

12:57

much Harbinger so she called them and

13:01

asked them if she could watch cable in

13:02

the parents room of course

13:04

parent said it was okay but the

13:06

babysitter had one final request she

13:09

asked if she could cover up the angel

13:12

statue outside the bedroom window with a

13:14

blanket or cloth the very least close

13:17

the blinds because it made her nervous

13:20

the phone line went silent for a moment

13:23

and the father was talking the

13:25

babysitter at the time said take the

13:27

children and get out of the house we

13:30

will call the police we do not have an

13:33

angel statue

13:35

the police found all three of the house

13:37

occupants dead within 10 minutes of the

13:39

call no statue was found that is awesome

13:43

great all right this is a story called

13:45

home alone your home alone and you hear

13:49

on the news about the profile of a

13:50

murderer who is on the loose you look

13:53

out the sliding glass doors to your

13:54

backyard

13:55

and you notice a man standing out in the

13:57

snow he fits the profile of the murderer

13:59

exactly and he's smiling at you you go

14:02

picking up the phone to your right and

14:04

dialing 9-1-1 you look back out the

14:07

glass as you press the phone to your ear

14:08

and notice he's much closer to you now

14:10

you drop the phone in shock there are no

14:13

footprints in the snow

14:14

it's his reflection here can I read one

14:18

more yeah sure one to the right super

14:20

quick the tape during summer of 1983 in

14:27

a quiet town near Minneapolis Minnesota

14:29

the charred body of a woman was found

14:31

inside the kitchen stove of a small

14:33

farmhouse a video camera was also found

14:37

in the kitchen standing on a tripod

14:38

pointing at the oven no tape was found

14:42

in the camera at the time I remember

14:45

reading about the story actually

14:47

although the scene was originally

14:49

labeled as a homicide by police an

14:51

unmarked VHS tape was later discovered

14:54

at the bottom of the farms well which

14:56

apparently died up earlier that year

14:59

despite its warm condition and the fact

15:02

that it contained no audio police were

15:05

still able to view the contents of the

15:07

tape it depicted a woman recording

15:10

herself in front of a video camera

15:11

seemingly using the same camera the

15:14

police found in the kitchen after

15:16

positioning camera to include both her

15:18

and her kitchen stove in the image the

15:21

tape then showed her turning on the oven

15:23

opening the door crawling inside and

15:27

then closing the door behind her

15:31

eight minutes into the video the oven

15:33

could be seen shaking violently after

15:36

which point thick black smoke could be

15:38

seen emanating from it for the remaining

15:41 45 minutes of the video until the 15:43

batteries in the camera died it remained

15:45

in its stationary position to avoid

15:48

disturbing the local community police

15:50

never released any information about the

15:51

tape or even the fact that it was found

15:54

police were also not able to determine

15:57

who put the tape and the well worth a

15:59

height and stature of the woman in the

16:00

video didn't come close to matching the

16:03

body they found in the oven whoa that

16:07

one's great that's when I read another

16:09

story another short one I just got a

16:11

quick one that's kind of fun but because

16:14

of that alien this ship in the Baltic

16:16

Sea think this is kind of this guy Leon

16:19

zalga 'he's assassinated assassinate Cho

16:22

gosh

16:23

shell gosh yeah Leon shell gosh he's the

16:26

Sasson of William McKinley the 25th

16:28

President United States he was

16:29

electrocuted for his crime on October

16:31 29th 1901 at Auburn prison in Auburn New 16:34

York among the personal effects found in

16:36

his cell was a u.s. quarter stamped with

16:38

the date 20 to 18 the face and profile

16:41

on said quarter was not George

16:42

Washington but rather a face that has

16:44

not yet been identified so he is like

16:47

from the future man it's William

16:49

McKinley do you want to another when

16:51

you're going to go into this big one oh

16:53

I got a I got one more I guess is and I

16:56

love it because it's a it's a bit of an

16:58

interest to bind a young man and his new

17:01

bride we're honeymooning in Paris when

17:03

she sat him down deadly serious and

17:05

asked him if he would ever leave her

17:06

where she not truly beautiful he laughed

17:09

and complimented her figuring she was

17:10

just simply being dramatic and wanted to

17:12

be told how pretty she was

17:14

she then grabbed a cloth and rubbed at

17:16

her face wiping off the heavy foundation

17:17

she wore and revealing a grotesque

17:19

purple birthmark covering nearly her

17:21

whole face of course he would still love

17:23

her he was a good man but before he

17:25

could stop himself he let out a gasp his

17:27

wife burst into tears and fled and

17:29

hadn't returned by the time the

17:31

honeymoon was supposed to end

17:32

she had no passport and no money so

17:34

fearing the worst the man went to the

17:36

police the police thought it was most

17:38

likely the girl simply had second

17:39

thoughts about the marriage yet due to

17:41

the fact she had no official documents

17:42

and spoke no French they launched a hunt

17:45

nothing ever turned up as weeks turned

17:47

into months the man finally gave up on

17:49

finding his beautiful wife but his life

17:50

Eleanor shambles he was so filled with

17:53

grief unable to hold a job or go on with

17:55

his life he took to wandering the world

17:57

looking for anything that might ease his

17:58

pain years later in Borneo he came upon

18:01

a freak show in an old shabby building

18:03

he went in on a whim and the last filthy

18:06

cage he saw a twisted scarred and

18:08

mutilated woman rocking back and forth

18:09

and groaning strange animal-like noises

18:11

he screamed as he recognized the

18:14

birthmark on his wife's face nice I love

18:17

that one okay how many good ones in here

18:19

I kind of like this bad dream one you

18:21

want to read one more and then we'll get

18:22

into Barbie over time I we we should

18:26

probably go get enough skin to pool this

18:28

so now this is the thing with this is

18:30

Barbie Davey I now this is based upon

18:34

real videos that were found we're going

18:38

to say we're going to be posting these

18:40

videos and as we read this story to you

18:43

you're going to want to watch Barbie Evi

18:46

part 1 part 2 in part 4 because of the

18:49

only ones that exist so I would keep

18:51

those running makes sense yeah we'll

18:54

have at the very least we'll have links

18:55

on a cave comedy radio.com yeah yeah so

18:58

do you want me to start yeah give it a

19:00

go so this thing happened to me a few

19:04

months ago I just need to share with

19:07

somebody it'll start it at my friend's

19:09

party he's an artist he rented out a

19:12

loft in the industrial part of town if

19:14

you can picture what a place like

19:15

Detroit look like in the 1920s this is

19:18

what this area looks like a bunch of old

19:20

turn-of-the-century factories crammed

19:22

into ten blocks most of them are

19:24

abandoned so I partied a little too hard

19:26

that night and I decided to crash on a

19:29

couch the loft we woke up at around 4:00

19:31

a.m. the Sun wasn't out yet but you

19:33

could still like make things out in the

19:34

dim blue light of the morning I went to

19:37

the bathroom

19:37

carefully tiptoeing around the people

19:39

that were passed out on the floor

19:41

as I was taking a piss I tiptoed a look

19:44

at the bathroom window and I saw the

19:45

panorama of deserted urban decay I

19:49

remembered how much I liked places like

19:51

this it was so dark and devoid of life

19:53

and strangely serene so we went back to

19:56

the couch and tried to fall asleep after

19:58 45 minutes of 19:59

staring at the ceiling I decided I

20:00

didn't want to be there any longer so I

20:02

swallowed my pride incited to wake my

20:04

girlfriend up to beg for a ride since

20:06

walking around the vacant streets at

20:08

this time was not an option being an

20:10

awesome girlfriend she was totally cool

20:11

with it

20:12

and told me she would and told me she

20:14

would be there in about a half hour and

20:16

that she would give me a call when she

20:17

was outside my phone dies 10 minutes

20:19

later so I decide I would sit by the

20:21

window and wit watch her car i sat there

20:24

for a while and my eyes started getting

20:26

heavy and I began to doze off a crashing

20:28

noise outside woke me up it wasn't loud

20:30

but just enough to snap me into reality

20:32

I looked out the window and scanned the

20:34

area but didn't see anything across the

20:37

street from the loft near a mountain of

20:38

garbage bags and one of these enormous

20:40

dumpsters I see a computer and a monitor

20:42

smashed against the floor that hadn't

20:45

been there before when my girlfriend

20:47

arrived I went downstairs and greeted

20:49

her just as I'm about to get in the car

20:51

I remembered a friend of mine who had

20:52

blown out his power supply so I decided

20:54

to walk over to the dumpster and see

20:56

what I could salvage the monitor was

20:58

worthless but the tower seemed it has

20:59

suffered almost no damage so I put it in

21:01

the trunk and we drove off about a week

21:04

had passed and I completely forgotten

21:05

about the tower until my girlfriend

21:07

calls to let me know that it was still

21:08

in the trunk and that she wanted it out

21:10

that night I brought it home before I

21:12

took it apart I decided to hook up but

21:14

to hook it up to my monitor to see if it

21:17

still ran to my surprise it did it ran

21:19

windows XP and it looked like it had

21:21

been wiped clean I guess out of morbid

21:23

curiosity I decided to do searches for

21:26

words like tits and pussy in hopes of

21:28

finding some secret stash full of weird

21:30

deviant porn the previous owner had

21:32

forgotten about search came up nothing

21:34

starts a picture files nothing then I

21:37

searched for movies and one file came up

21:39

it was an avi inside a folder titled

21:42

Barbie hidden in the windows system32

21:44

directory so I played it now this is

21:48

where it gets disturbing the movie was

21:51

been an hour long what seemed like raw

21:53

exported footage the footage was full of

21:57

this woman sitting in a chair and

21:58

talking against the white backdrop I

22:00

skipped through most of the movie and

22:02

was all the same continuous shot and

22:04

then I decided to sit through the

22:05

footage to find out what she was talking

22:07

about 15 seconds into the footage the

22:10

audio goes completely bad her voices

22:11

drowned in harsh

22:13

static background noise I couldn't make

22:15

out a thing

22:16

so I import the footage into Final Cut

22:18

and I try to mess with levels to isolate

22:21

her voice and helps a little but I still

22:23

couldn't hear what she was saying

22:25

who intrigued now and I'm going to

22:27

really pay attention to her face and

22:28

body language seems that she's being

22:30

asked some kind of questions because she

22:32

stops at time to listen and then

22:34

continues talking about 15 minutes into

22:36

the footage her face begins to redden

22:38

and contort as if the questions are

22:40

bothering her she continues to answer

22:42

them anyway

22:42

shortly after shortly after she begins

22:44

to cry she sobs hysterically for the

22:47

duration of the film one of the few

22:49

words I could lip-read was skin she

22:51

repeats this word many times throughout

22:53

the footage and at one point she even

22:55

pulls that the skin up from her arm and

22:57

mouths the word she seems to be unhappy

23:00

with her skin there is much more I have

23:02

to get off my chest but it but is

23:04

getting late and I can't go on I will

23:06

show the rest tomorrow

23:07

God saved my soul it kept on building

23:10

and building in about 40 minutes in she

23:12

was crying so hard that she could barely

23:14

look at the camera she stops to take she

23:16

stops talking at this point and the rest

23:18

of the footage is just her crying with

23:20

her head down oddly enough she doesn't

23:22

get up her move the screen just fades to

23:24

black I was fucking dumbfounded I played

23:28

the whole thing through many times that

23:30

night trying to find inflections and

23:32

nuances and her movement that would

23:33

reveal anything else about what was

23:35

going on

23:35

I felt so dissatisfied I wanted to know

23:38

more that's when I noticed there was

23:40

about 10 more minutes left on the

23:41

timeline after the screen went black and

23:43

about 2 minutes in there was more

23:45

footage the footage was extremely shaky

23:47

almost unwatchable and depicted a pair

23:50

of legs walking along train tracks my

23:52

guess is that the camera was

23:53

accidentally left on as it was being

23:55

carried somewhere the person in this

23:57

footage walks along the train tracks for

23:59

about 6 minutes and then turns into the

24:01

forest and walks over what looked like

24:03

foliage flattened by a piece of flat

24:05

plywood the person continues on this

24:07

makeshift plywood road until the movie

24:09

clip ends now my heart started beating

24:11

with excitement because they were train

24:13

tracks a few miles away that looked very

24:15

similar to the one in the video I had to

24:18

check this out I called up my friend

24:19

Ezra he's 6 foot 4 250 pounds mostly

24:22

muscle and convince him to go on a

24:23

little adventure with me

24:25

pushover myself but I thought if I was

24:27

to go wandering in the woods looking for

24:28

god-knows-what extra muscle couldn't

24:30

hurt this whole idea of investigating

24:31

was a video at me so excited I couldn't

24:33

sleep

24:34

this next morning on a sunny Saturday

24:37

I took my flashlight my camera my

24:39

seven-inch K bar with a matte black

24:41

finish serrated edge showing to pick up

24:43

Ezra when I got to his house he wasn't

24:46

even awake when I woke him up he was

24:47

pretty much told me to fuck off I was

24:49

already packed

24:50

I had mentally prepared myself to do

24:51

this so I decided to go through with it

24:53

without him

24:54

I parked my car at the train station

24:55

took my stuff and hopped under the

24:57

tracks after walking for about two hours

24:59

I saw a broken piece of plywood him and

25:01

needs almost buckled with excitement

25:03

I searched the nearby foliage and there

25:05

was a little plywood trail leading into

25:07

the forest I walked slowly around along

25:09

the trail paying close attention to

25:11

everything I would stop occasionally

25:13

kneel down and listen for for anything

25:15

or anyone but it was so quiet this was

25:18

this was one of the most nerve-wracking

25:20

things I've ever done I didn't know what

25:22

to expect at the end of this trail the

25:24

dense tree line gave way into a little

25:26

island of grassy field and when I saw it

25:27

how it's being consumed by the forest

25:30

and then I saw how it's been consumed by

25:32

the forest from the looks of it no one

25:35

had lived there for twenty maybe thirty

25:36

years I got my camera and snapped a few

25:39

pics a few yards away from the house was

25:41

a toolshed

25:42

made of rusty sheet metal I just sat

25:44

there among the trees for a while

25:46

absorbing everything I didn't want to go

25:49

into the open field I had this bad

25:51

feeling something would see me it took

25:53

me a while to muster the courage to go

25:54

up to the house the door was partly

25:56

opened I pushed it in with the

25:58

flashlight and was relieved the inside

26:00

was actually very well lit I put my

26:02

flashlight away got my camera and took a

26:04

few more pictures there was no furniture

26:06

the floor was riddled with bricks and

26:09

wood and rubble some of the walls had

26:11

huge holes in them when I went in

26:13

further to explore I saw some things

26:15

that I didn't much mind to in the moment

26:17

but now that I think about him in

26:19

hindsight greatly disturbed me the first

26:22

thing that seemed a little odd was at

26:24

one of the doors in the first room that

26:26

I presume led to the basement seemed a

26:27

little too new to be in this house and

26:30

that it was also the only door in the

26:31

house that was locked also I made my way

26:35

up to the second floor I saw some chairs

26:37

and fold up table that also seemed to

26:39

little too new to be there but what

26:41

disturbed me the most for some reason

26:43

was the bathroom the dust on the mirror

26:46

had been wiped away in the bathtub

26:48

that's a clear plastic tarp that still

26:52

had water droplets on it from what I

26:53

presume it was washed clean that's when

26:58

I heard something moan really loud and

27:01

that's when I jumped the fuck out of the

27:02

second-story window on ran back to the

27:04

tracks halfway there I realized that

27:07

moaning was likely a water pipe

27:09

expanding or contracting the little

27:11

moment of relief gave into the horror

27:12

which I felt when I wondered why the

27:14

water would be running on an abandoned

27:17

house in the middle of the fucking woods

27:19

it's been a little more than two months

27:21

since that happened and I haven't gone

27:22

back there nor do I plan to Barbie

27:27

Barbie a bi man we used to have a house

27:31

like that when I was growing up

27:32

oh yeah murders out here yeah it was

27:34

just the middle of woods with nothing at

27:35

it um granted I don't think a woman was

27:38

murdered in the bathtub

27:40

yeah we had a house that was a like a

27:42

haunted house like there was all kinds

27:44

of crazy stories about it and a friend

27:46

of mine found a cassette tape in which

27:48

an old man was just reciting mary had a

27:51

little lamb over and over again and we

27:53

get progressively angry angrier and then

27:56

calm down and angry and calm down so

27:58

what are you tell so what do you think

28:00

this guy filmed this chick and then took

28:03

her into the woods and murdered her and

28:04

cut off her skin and wore it who knows

28:07

or it's like just the beginning of any

28:09

sort of a snuff film oh yeah that's a

28:14

good point

28:15

you know can then it was started off as

28:17

an interview they tricked her that it

28:18

was an interview and then they just

28:20

murdered her oh my god yeah all she was

28:22

talking to was her skin I talk about

28:24

that too all the time I was always I was

28:26

thought like you know two girls one cups

28:28

fake but I was like if you if this was

28:32

real though those girls are dead this

28:36

was actually happening then they were

28:38

murdered at some point yeah uh and I'm I

28:42

am dead certain that there there is some

28:45

pretty twisted stuff that happens that

28:47

is on the internet that is real I'm as

28:50

well thing yeah there's got to be tons

28:52

of it

28:53

I'll tell you one thing what's on the

28:55

internet it's twisted last podcast on

28:57

the left that's yeah I'm sure yeah and

28:59

if they're good and scared of us ruined

29:00

your night

29:01 [Laughter] 29:04

alright everybody well I think that's

29:06

gonna wrap up this episode of fun of

29:08

storytelling today yeah time I want to

29:11

do this more often let's get into little

29:12

groups and just hang out that's the

29:14

stateís to each other and tweet cave

29:16

comedy radio let us know if you have any

29:18

any links to some horrific stories or if

29:21

you have a story of your own please

29:22

email cave comedy radio at gmail right

29:24

yeah hit comedy radio Gmail if you want

29:27

to email your your scary spooky stories

29:29

please do that please love to read them

29:31

on air yeah cuz we'd love to get creeped

29:33

out ourselves

29:34

absolutely that's what it's all about

29:35

alright guys thanks so much for

29:36

listening we'll talk to you soon

29:38

jiggy jiggy jiggy jiggy translations

29:42

Magoo solutions I've been doing the

29:44

subway ads all day yeah my Subway's new

29:46

spicy chicken sandwich

29:47

makes it footlong megusta lations Magoo

29:50

still Asians megusta lations

29:52

Campbell you guys are still on that one

29:53

I'm not getting off that you knew once

29:56

in yeah since I'm not scared anymore

29:58

yeah that's the thing

29:59

trés subway eat fresh eat fresh there

30:03

that's good we're in again fucking sued

30:04

by quiet

30:05

Jarrod oh we're gonna come get us man to

30:08

chase after us we fucking killed still

30:10

laugh at our the way I know he sucks

30:12

Jarrod needs to be in a snuff film

30:14

yeah you do your ad campaign we're just

30:17

gonna need your skin to be worn by

30:18

another person yes you're a dreadful

30:20

beast of a man and I know Jared for a

30:22

fact huge diva he came to my University

30:25

gave a speech would you believe it he

30:27

demanded like a buffet of food now that

30:30

was somewhat none of it was some scary

30:31

story yet the scary story goodbye