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The following is a transcript of Episode 17: Ghost Hunters by The Last Podcast On The Left.

This transcript was based on text automatically generated via YouTube's closed captioning system. If you notice any errors, please feel free to correct them.

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00:00

there's no place to escape this is the

00:03

law started by our that is sing about an

00:25

ammonite name alright well that's the

00:27

most horrific thing this podcast has

00:29

ever been a part of welcome to last

00:31

podcast on the left with Marcus Parks

00:33

I'm Ben Kissel with us as always the

00:35

scientist the mastermind who is that

00:37

beast creature of reynold wacky

00:40

Templeton yeah Kimmel one-liners you

00:43

faggot

00:44

well he's obviously an old-time he's

00:46

sold from the past absolutely my name is

00:49

Henry Zebrowski in case you forget it

00:51

just write it down Henry Zebrowski Zeb

00:55

our OS wrong w you're wrong hey K zip

00:59

rouse ki Zebrowski sounds complicated

01:01

because it's polish but it is not

01:03

remotely complicated and you have a

01:05

problem ironically it's complicated if

01:08

you're polish all right today we're

01:10

talking about it well my grandfather did

01:12

lose the recipe for making ice sigh

01:16

seriously I got you I make this ice but

01:21

all I got is this I water I just keep

01:24

trying to kill myself but I don't have

01:25

enough money for bullets well hey give

01:27

it a shot yeah I would say go with a

01:29

hanging either way you do it you can

01:33

always come back as a ghost here's

01:34

gravity it's got the bullet that's a

01:36

good point as a matter of fact grab with

01:38

God Lourdes

01:39

what's the Lord's us you know screaming

01:42

a locomotive it's you it's a snake

01:44

when you jump right out of those towers

01:46

makes are scary just like a train these

01:48

are the things I think about every

01:51

single day ladies and gentlemen

01:53

I'm gonna tell you that is the mind of

01:56

an actor right there holy Lord

01:58

oh do I have to turn this AC off I

02:00

believe you'd is it coming in can you

02:02

hear that eh so today everybody's

02:04

actually I've been what am I getting is

02:05

that's not yeah okay Danis don't come in

02:09

ah ladies and gentlemen we've just been

02:11

haunted and that's what we're talking

02:13

about today and how Henry came over to

02:16

WoW the place of my employment today

02:17

what a nice little place to be there

02:19

with Ben and his dogs and Ben just had

02:22

such a sweet smile on his face

02:23

those dogs old and mean they're sweet

02:26

wonderful puppies and I loved every inch

02:28

of them which is only about 7 inches

02:30

they're very tiny small dogs

02:32

God knows they're about the size of a

02:34

Polish man's wonderful wonderful face so

02:38

we have a sure yes the Lincoln polish

02:41

buddy that's fine oh absolutely I get it

02:43

yeah sure why why is the length it

02:46

doesn't yeah I get actually in fact been

02:48

me and you one day took one of these

02:49

dogs into the Halloween store to shop

02:51

for ghoulish things that's right that's

02:54

exactly what we did and I love doing it

02:56

with you I love doing it with you and we

02:58

had a great time we did uh so yes so

03:01

Henry came over and we got to watch the

03:03

cable and we were discussing what these

03:05

shows were all these ghost hunter shows

03:07

so we decided to give a look-see to a

03:09

few of them

03:10

we watched yeah we watched a couple of

03:12

ghost lab we watched Ghost Adventures in

03:14

watch Paranormal State and they're the

03:17

top five ghost hunting shows are those

03:20

are in the top three and then there's

03:21

most haunted which is pretty fun and

03:23

ghost hunters and I will say ghost lab

03:26

this is fascinating this is a bunch of I

03:28

don't know where they're from but

03:29

they're all fat yeah they're hairy men

03:31

they're all fat and there's a there's a

03:34

bus that sits outside which I get in the

03:36

lab dumbest fucking convention for a

03:39

show they show up in an 18-wheeler lab

03:42

they go when they yell at the ghosts in

03:45

your house and then talk about science

03:47

like oh but we're using science we're

03:49

using science gg's there it's it's

03:52

nice-looking nonsense they look like

03:55

they went to a mail-order school for

03:58

whatever is they're doing first on cuz

04:00

you got to know something about science

04:01

you gotta know something out physics

04:02

you're just doing like parlor tricks and

04:05

just yelling at ghosts this is the thing

04:07

that annoyed me about the program others

04:09

are worse than others but the ghost lab

04:11

I feel like they're the Dickie Dickie

04:13

estudia ghosts they went to a family's

04:16

house and 4 to the 5 in this family had

04:19

shot themselves in the face why and then

04:21

one and it was all predicated upon one

04:24

of the younger sons um just dying right

04:27

he just died yeah and so he decided what

04:29

sickness no stamp sickness on him when

04:32

he showed the fig tree he died it dies

04:34

on the show he doubted the consumption

04:36

yes the group yes yeah you never know

04:39

it's scavengers love that old disease

04:42

had people used to have you get a bad

04:44

buy yeah absolutely scarlet fever it's

04:47

cause from the dust of opening up old

04:49

unused coffins or looking for old books

04:51

yeah if there was very similar but the

04:54

two of the poor victims of 9/11 are

04:56

going through right now yes God knows

04:57

that jesus fucking christ god bless them

05:00

i think we had it we had the moment

05:03

speaking of hard to get a haunted

05:05

grounds i don't know if they should be

05:06

building that new world trade so why

05:08

don't we offer the old osa bankers

05:11

everywhere buys how do you have the

05:18

report from last corner beside my bow

05:21

Greg but I'm gonna put in your inbox I

05:26

mean it might work out perfectly you

05:27

come into your office all the documents

05:29

are stamped a janitor comes in the

05:31

floors are already mopped and perfectly

05:33

clean absolutely haunting well I can't

05:36

wait is for the old businessmen who died

05:37

there naturally their ghosts in mix with

05:39

the new ones that died there horribly we

05:41

got a guys with big cellphone ghosts and

05:44

then you've got a bunch of people with

05:45

like monitoring phones yeah like

05:47

everybody wants to rule though letting

05:51

you guys you listen to fucking

05:53

Nickelback it's gonna be a whole mix

05:55

them up yeah that's right but ghosts mix

05:57

them up they're all going to get

05:58

together over Dennis Miller's Weekend

06:00

Update because that was the beautiful

06:03

leading but nonetheless this what I was

06:05

thinking too all these ghosts they say

06:07

that suicides and early deaths like a

06:10

murder situation give you a meek you a

06:12

ghost and I was thinking maybe you're

06:14

just a ghost on earth until you're

06:16

naturally supposed to die so if you get

06:18

shot or if you kill yourself you might

06:20

have 40 years to be a ghost might have

06:21 30 years to be a ghost maybe until your 06:23

spirits interesting to be going onto the

06:25

other side you have to stay here as a

06:27

you know a shitty penance or you know

06:29

you get to move why

06:31

glasses which is all these ghosts seem

06:32

to do dance and that was in good

06:34

Paranormal State we'll get to how

06:35

fucking stupid Santa can we get plastic

06:38

with ghost lab for a second douchiest of

06:40

all of them ghost lab is just they have

06:43

a lot of graphics they have a lot of

06:45

like lots of them like it's um-- ghost

06:47

facts yeah i mean so like you go slam

06:50

with you and then it just like shows lab

06:54

results like zoom sees you mean you're

06:58

like like they look like metal rods it's

07:00

so fucking stupid but the thing is the

07:02

one thing so they're the one thing that

07:05

employees of this hotel that's now a

07:07

hotel used to be a family home they all

07:09

keep saying that they all seen this good

07:10

this dog ghost i want our sons one of

07:14

the sons shot the dog and then shot

07:16

himself one of the people come in to

07:18

suicide there and so the key everyone

07:19

you're like and then sometimes it not

07:22

you can feel the dog just brushing up

07:24

against your leg so just look at here

07:26

barking so but they yeah they mike the

07:29

whole thing for sound and it's just like

07:31

one of those were they like you're

07:34

noting things like hey man you hear that

07:36

hear that are her look kill you yeah

07:39

he's like no man no he's like you didn't

07:42

hear that you didn't hear the d yeah

07:44

yeah yeah like no i didn't know i didn't

07:47

hear that we better check the tape it

07:48

seems to geez this is a soundscape go

07:51

soundscape and then it cuts to like the

07:54

the fucking sound effect thing and then

07:55

it's just like dare it is right there

07:57

near it is you hear it you're the dog

08:03

walker the dog bark was real the dog

08:07

bark voice that they heard was real but

08:09

they failed to mention the hotel is next

08:11

to a highway that has a large side it

08:13

was a living dog dog depart outside and

08:16

so images the dog in the lab in the in

08:20

the in this ghost lab of theirs AKA my

08:22

trailer where they probably all live

08:24

drama look like a set it's not even it's

08:27

not a lab labs are not put in the back

08:29

obviously doesn't have wet labs are put

08:32

in the back of trucks yes it obviously

08:34

doesn't have like one like entire wall

08:36

that's how they film it's very pathetic

08:38

so they'll bill here like uh like they

08:41

were they were doing this thing with the

08:42

wine glasses evidently ghosts love to

08:44

just

08:44

to shake my eyes to the smalls that's

08:46

later on that's the other show no sperm

08:49

okay know that this happened the same

08:51

thing and so the ghost the the thing

08:53

like rattles a little bit and they're

08:54

like did you hear that yeah that's right

08:56

that's right the decorations they who do

08:58

the vibrations of the glass and the

08:59

chick the chick comes through like it's

09:01

some stupid Lethal Weapon film and she

09:03

says uh yeah just a large semi truck

09:05

just drove by so it's like a semi truck

09:08

that drove by it's like it doesn't make

09:10

any sense whatsoever and it's so

09:11

upsetting to actual like ghosts it's

09:14

just these fatties walk around the house

09:15

going like oh so you killed yourself

09:17

ghosts look what you show me show me

09:20

that you're realized you killed your dog

09:23

you think you're so big you think you're

09:24

so tough and it's like man and they're

09:26

literally trying to break these ghosts

09:29

like a bully tries to break in eighth

09:31

grade and it pops up the image of the

09:33

bottom all the text shoots it it's like

09:34

provocation tests and he's just like

09:36

we're like giving a ghost face and make

09:39

that ghost stand up like a man and show

09:42

us if he exists and we're just I was

09:44

like I fucking swear fuse to believe

09:48

that a ghost is affected by pride number

09:52

one you're gonna bully a ghost to do

09:54

anything the idea bullying ago just

09:56

shows you the depth of their minds their

09:58

how do you get a reaction out of

09:59

somebody call me yeah give me a cheese

10:02

honey it's like I have I will get you

10:04

cheese darling oh yeah oh so sounds like

10:07

to me I don't know about you Dave of

10:09

ghost labs how you feeling but it feels

10:11

like this goes here you some kind of

10:13

pussy I was gonna say faggot but you

10:16

went pussy yeah man you're right I was

10:19

wrong

10:19

he is a faggy pussy Fagin why are you

10:22

still on it goes

10:23

come on you fucking fag ghost this is

10:26

what you want play football you want

10:28

football with some bad game at home

10:30

throwing the football at the wall really

10:31

catch it give it all can't you be a man

10:33

it's you an aunt ghost I just don't

10:36

understand how this exists and these

10:39

assholes and they make day how much

10:40

money do they make per episode now and

10:42

also where are your credentials how

10:45

would they ever pass were they wedding

10:47

busted ghosts have they ever stopped a

10:49

ghost if they ever proved that ghost

10:51

exists in their traveling go slap

10:54

once not yet not yet but they will

10:56

absolutely it will be paying them to

10:59

bring them back peeking of people who

11:01

pretend as if they've actually seen a

11:02

ghost which I think this might be true

11:04

this guy's this is me the douchiest in

11:06

our opinion this one's called Ghost

11:08

Adventures

11:09

this guy is just like no I didn't

11:12

believe I grew up not believing in

11:14

ghosts until one day I saw a ghost

11:17

yeah now I go on Ghost Adventures to

11:21

recreate what I saw and it's like if

11:23

Yahoo grows up not believing in ghosts

11:25

yeah it's still fucking Stooges stew but

11:28

I will say this the irony of it all is

11:30

if he did not believe in ghosts that's

11:31

why the ghost showed himself because the

11:34

ghost was just like oh there's a prime

11:35

victim it's like women who were out

11:36

there clutching their purses with a

11:38

shank in their hands they're ready to

11:40

not to get raped yeah you know they're

11:41

prepared not to get scared by a governor

11:43

chick deadly diddlin out there in

11:45

Williamsburg with a low-cut dress on be

11:47

like everything safe here in Brooklyn

11:48

what else are victims well she's you

11:50

wearing she's wearing a low-cut blouse

11:52

yeah in a nice located shirt you've got

11:54

the you get the UH like what do you call

11:56

those nice horses yeah they're fake

11:58

they're fake glasses yeah I'm sure glad

12:00

how tight is distress yeah it's well

12:03

it's not that tight because would you

12:04

believe that the bloomie is kind of

12:05

coming back oh really

12:06

yeah it also makes it for easier access

12:08

your legs like yeah they're long white

12:11

very skinny on your skin you can see

12:13

enjoyment are they milky uh-huh very

12:16

milky very pathetically milky fresh out

12:18

of fresh at a theater school got good

12:20

feet like will her feet open-toed shoes

12:22

her toes are fine well done uh-huh

12:25

uh-huh what about the hair what's her

12:27

hair the hair is a little bit shorter

12:28

it's a little bit cutting a bob and

12:30

she's got a bandana on yeah yeah no see

12:34

your belly button yeah I can see her

12:36

belly button

12:37

yeah it's got a little butterfly tattoo

12:38

next to it not here's because that is

12:41

officially out mm-hmm nonetheless that

12:43

woman see what it's just unto you that's

12:46

going to lead to a haunting so Zak is

12:49

like I'm out there and I'm like I don't

12:50

believe in him and now so he should they

12:53

should go into these places and pretend

12:55

like they don't exist yeah because they

12:57

actually went into a place called

12:58

Bobby's Bobby Bobby Mackey's Bobby

13:01

Mackey's yeah Bobby it was his old

13:03

country singer mm-hm and he ran this

13:05

place and I will say this it was a muddy

13:07

coated environment I've ever seen one of

13:09

these Shoshana yeah that's what they

13:10

said it was pretty it seemed like it was

13:12

pretty alike as they were sitting there

13:14

there was an interviewing an old man and

13:16

that's a part of it too is like they're

13:17

all so old drunk country musicians

13:19

they're all just like they're sitting

13:20

there talking he's like we're waiting

13:22

we're saying looking silhouette of a

13:25

Mayan just walked across the back room

13:28

and he goes adventurer guys like oh my

13:29

god we've got a ghost in the gut in

13:31

premises I've got to see for myself get

13:36

the therm owned get the thermogram and

13:38

the progressed like pans around they're

13:40

like oh my god it's burning up and it's

13:41

just his hair because it's all gelled up

13:44

gel to animate miss if one of those

13:46

light bulbs pop and there's a spark in

13:48

the room he's gonna look like Michael

13:49

Jackson shooting a Pepsi commercial

13:51

the difference between that what that

13:53

show is is that they don't have a camera

13:57

crew let's do like we know the camera

13:58

crews each one of them has its know each

14:00

one of them has a camcorder and they

14:02

stay in the place overnight and they

14:04

recorded but that also went into in the

14:06

end of them just being like come out

14:08

ghost and she's like always the guys

14:10

like wait a second let me handle this

14:12

well evidently is in their friend ghost

14:14

I know that you feel that you're human

14:16

but I have to release you you aren't

14:19

alive anymore ghost you're but you don't

14:22

have a body you can be released from

14:24

this way and they're all like said

14:25

everyone's like talking it's like well I

14:27

can't believe he's talking to the ghost

14:28

that dudes fucking crazy he's just

14:29

talking to a ghost and it's like he's

14:31

fucking Stu it's not real it's not real

14:34

real and it's like this this show is

14:36

apparently known as the angry ghost

14:37

hunting show the guy wears all black and

14:39

and that the person that interviewed the

14:42

main haunty of this situation other than

14:44

Bobby the fellow who owns the place his

14:47

wife was that really pushed down the

14:48

stairs by a ghost that

14:50

like this fellow who killed a woman in

14:51

there yeah and this is a thing the story

14:53

is these two hooligans killed a woman

14:55

took her head off her body walked into

14:59

the place dumped her head into a well

15:01

that that is on the premise a drain off

15:05

ditch for the slaughterhouse okay there

15:08

was water houses so that was actually

15:10

what's really cool about the place is

15:11

that so visit this part so this murder

15:14

is real the murder is real the murders

15:15

real they say it's all it just you know

15:18

with just a classic again it your you

15:20

know in terms of flaws of a ghost

15:22

hunting show well I do think the the the

15:26

the initial interview with the one guy

15:28

who at ha it was haunted the most he

15:30

lived apparently he lived in the

15:31

apartment above the bar for six years so

15:34

you know he's not doing well and

15:36

drinking moonshine every night Oh

15:37

evidently it got to the point where they

15:40

called an exorcist and he woke up after

15:43

a six hour eight hour exorcism choking

15:45

the priest who's like Irish don't

15:47

remember nothing and it's like you were

15:48

just Lulu how do you mind yeah he was

15:51

absolutely I mean have you guys ever

15:52

tried have you guys ever drank moonshine

15:54

well I mean like I mean I'm talking like

15:57

actual I'm talking actual country-ass

16:00

like corn Distilled moonshine okay it is

16:03

the most insane shit you've ever had in

16:06

your life this doesn't surprise me at

16:09

all but so that was the story of that

16:11

guy which it all seems amazingly spooky

16:13

in the room don't you think initially

16:14

Henry and I repose was like well this is

16:16

a pretty damn good scare and it gets

16:19

back into the ghost adventure or yelling

16:20

at the ghost and be like show yourself

16:23

to me and it's like why would the ghost

16:25

respect you a ghost is better than you

16:27

and it showed itself to you when you

16:29

weren't paying any attention to it

16:30

chill the fuck out and be nice to the

16:32

ghost exactly for a glass of wine for

16:34

the damn thing and they said that's what

16:36

they said uh um what was that

16:38

oh that's paranormal stay we'll get to

16:39

that in a second stupid all these ghosts

16:42

love the bar for some reason hey look he

16:44

always loved B or something like that

16:45

that happens here I'm sending so but he

16:47

loves beer you know the UH the the thing

16:51

about ghosting hunting shows is again

16:55

so let's say like the problem of

16:58

Schrodinger's cat right and they're

17:00

talking about a whatever observed

17:02

universe yeah it's a forget

17:06

Schrodinger's cat alright so there is a

17:09

cat in the box and the cat exists and

17:13

doesn't exist all at the same time

17:14

because it's if there is a radioactive

17:16

isotope in the box yes that will kill

17:19

the cat and so it's like inside this box

17:21

you look at its box

17:22

yeah like there's the cat is both alive

17:24

and dead inside this box and you won't

17:26

know until you open it up but until it

17:28

because it's unobserved any any like any

17:32

every outcome as possible yeah because

17:34

you're not like choosing something yeah

17:36

but if you show you don't observe it

17:38

then the cat is both alive and dead all

17:40

the same all the same time there is

17:43

showing now that reality is different

17:47

when you observe it well I mean I -

17:49

that's the rule of a of documentaries is

17:52

that you automatically change I mean

17:55

this is a rule of science actually is

17:57

that you change your you know your

18:01

subject just by observing just by paying

18:03

budget to it yeah so you're putting if

18:06

gose exists and they are a psychic

18:08

phenomenon and that they are either

18:10

intelligent hauntings as they were

18:11

saying in ghost lab intelligent

18:13

hauntings which involve a ghost being

18:15

able to interact with a person who calls

18:16

its name like hey touch my titty and the

18:19

ghost touches titty and then there's

18:20

also unintelligent ghosts which is just

18:22

when they pick up something on Ghost

18:24

Adventures they picked up a ghost saying

18:26

I don't like dogs and I don't like fish

18:28

you know I don't like I don't like fish

18:30

I like birds

18:30

yeah that's what it is oh this is a stew

18:33

note better oh you're serious I thought

18:35

you were making jokes true Wow

18:37

though this was actually ghost lab going

18:38

back to that douchey show right there

18:40

like oh he's so threw off the case that

18:42

they were like bullets on intelligence

18:43

so we can't deal with it because they

18:45

caught a snippet of conversation which

18:48

was a man's voice they showed the

18:50

recording of a man's voice going I don't

18:51

wanna talk about only fish I mean it's

18:53

like if you have to do something into

18:56

subtitles and the person is speaking

18:58

English either you're filming some mud

19:00

people in Pennsylvania or you're making

19:02

it up making it up

19:04

making it I'm sorry if I see the human

19:07

being playing a drum and be like hey

19:08

everyone no I don't know and that means

19:10

hey I don't go to Walmart I'm like

19:12

alright having those release me

19:13

yeah just like write that and read that

19:15

the thing is is I just refuse to believe

19:19

that you will see a ghost if you go

19:22

looking for one well this is something

19:24

we've talked about many times on the

19:26

show yeah is that you know if you go

19:28

looking for word goes it's you know it's

19:30

like whenever you really like a girl

19:31

always but it's like whenever you really

19:34

like a girl whenever you really try for

19:36

it and you really go for it the girls

19:37

never going to go for it

19:39

but whatever you don't pay attention to

19:40

or whenever you're very nonchalant about

19:42

it that's whenever the girl comes same

19:45

thing with ghosts it's tough to sit if

19:46

you tell the ghost that you love him

19:48

like her her on the back of your senior

19:50

picture at the end of senior year come

19:52

to me it works out it's like um did that

19:55

work out for you no it did not in my

19:57

situation what are you talking about it

19:58

didn't work no she is married in Indiana

20:01

she's got a lot of tattoos now though so

20:03

vibrant so can't be with a tattooed

20:05

broad you can't be no I don't know why I

20:08

bother

20:11

don't like at things like a turn-on if

20:13

you gotta go no tattoos or tattoos I'm

20:15

just gonna go no tattoos that's fine

20:16

sure yeah no I don't know who cares yeah

20:19

the next show we watch was Paranormal

20:21

State which is by and by and large the

20:25

dumbest one as far as Paranormal State

20:28

the one that is actually like they come

20:31

from a college yes this is that

20:33

paranormal State is the only ghost

20:35

hunter show that I've seen okay the this

20:38

show are so stupid it I watched one

20:42

episode I'm like I'm never watching that

20:44

they are 19 years old they are they are

20:47

students of a fake science all right

20:51

like Northwestern State or something

20:52

like the Penn State right like I mean

20:54

it's an accredited university yes did

20:56

you know ego's Penn State this is the

20:58

exact same thing as majoring in theater

21:00

it's what is your normal activities

21:03

studies it's like what job are you gonna

21:04

get after this when I was a little kid

21:06

and I was obsessed with um the food ooh

21:09

like going on Queens at the time and I

21:12

was like super obsessed with monsters

21:14

and witchcraft I would write letters to

21:16

the Paris

21:17

psychology department at Duke University

21:19

like long things about like I'm really

21:22

interested in paranormal I want to be it

21:24

like I want to do this and like asking

21:26

questions about witches said monsters

21:28

and stuff like that and they would never

21:29

get back to me I mean I mean really what

21:32

we'd want to encourage you know entirely

21:34

your professor with the bogus fucking

21:37

profession

21:38

you should probably respond to anybody

21:40

who buys it you know what we're talking

21:41

about here we're talking about Peter

21:43

Venkman class yes like that's Manxman

21:45

Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters oh yeah

21:48

those are you fucking every ghost bust I

21:50

don't tell me I don't want to go

21:51

yourself it's not economical other jokes

21:53

are not funny they are serious matters

21:56

that should not be jested about same

21:58

reason I've never seen him up a woman

21:59

ever you need us I would give you a

22:02

squirrel I've ever seen what's that one

22:04

Jesus movie that the most acting the

22:07

oppression of the Christ's passion the

22:08

crisis ever yeah no it's hard to watch

22:10

ghost movies Turner watch movies about

22:11

fake dumb shit Jesus Christ I do it

22:21

again the all time do it again give it

22:23

to me I bought a book today called the

22:25

origin of the devil that's that is

22:28

actually very true to come from would

22:31

you get that Housing Works who not I

22:33

have ever done words yeah absolutely

22:35

um let's get the Paranormal State

22:36

alright I Paranormal State it's a bunch

22:38

of 19-year olds the doing shit that's

22:40

fake they put their big there's it's

22:43

like all these kids are just like well

22:45

you know we'll ghosts are very important

22:47

and it's that weird thing of like

22:48

whenever the cameras and these people

22:49

they look like they're about to laugh

22:51

yeah I know it's like it's hard to

22:52

explain but they're all just sitting

22:53

there like just kind of like all excited

22:55

about being on television and then um

22:57

they decided to it's four of them and

23:00

then they have a trainee mm-hmm whose

23:02

name is like Calista and she's like I

23:05

don't know Sam I mean touch I'm gonna be

23:08

in charge of the guest investigation at

23:10

all right and then like doing these

23:13

interviews with people about this

23:14

haunted bar she's like seven you

23:16

fantastic aspect happening and they're

23:18

all just like old drugs are just like

23:20

ghosts been around

23:21

as did all the time go solo when

23:24

connected to be a ghost love me I know

23:27

it's like in your dumb chasm and they're

23:29

all just like thank for your questions

23:31

thanks feeling nice it's your answer and

23:33

the leader we're coming to be like no

23:35

Kara Kara was really thorough no

23:37

questions but there's a couple of things

23:38

you know what guys gotta bring a

23:39

recorder gotta bring a record a review

23:42

owner's name he's the founder of the

23:44

Paranormal Research Society at Penn

23:46

State University Hague wasted time

23:49

normals Nick that's why it's called

23:51

paranormal State is that is he the like

23:54

chubby like faggoty dude with the

23:56

glasses no which one was that that

23:59

that's on paranormal state he might have

24:01

been told she might wear our junior he

24:03

graduated or not just was like he was an

24:05

older guy he was in like his mid-30s oh

24:07

no no this is different

24:08

I think you saw an older episode I guess

24:11

so yeah um because there was the guy he

24:13

was one of those guys that like he walks

24:15

into the room and he just sort of stares

24:17

out into the distance I've seen ghosts I

24:20

can feel it I can feel him in the room

24:23

no and I hear something I feel something

24:25

can you feel it can you hear it

24:27

they just do all these ineffectual

24:29

shitty tests that are obviously mocked

24:31

up for television and they're awful it's

24:33

like they were like the big thing about

24:35

this haunted bar is that wineglasses

24:37

used to just fly off the thing a fella

24:39

named Charlie haunted who evidently

24:41

loved beer so it's like Charlie loves

24:43

beer and the owners will be like you

24:46

know I only have three wine glasses and

24:48

I don't buy no more because they just

24:49

keep on disappearing Charlie been

24:51

knocking up my lies to me people were

24:53

stealing a but it's like it's a bar wine

24:54

glasses are the most sensitive of all

24:56

glasses that's our as usually starts

24:58

breaking German mugs nobody that's a

25:00

real as soon as he appears in front of

25:02

you and pulls down your pants and starts

25:05

going

25:07

then you know he's real they getting the

25:09

glows a ghost blowjob would get just

25:12

like in ghost Ghostbuster which Dan

25:16

Aykroyd got a ghost blowjob I cut that

25:18

old story line another movie though I've

25:20

seen the thymine it had that one scene

25:22

man there was a whole storyline of him

25:25

going to this old forts really putting

25:27

on and then finding the costume of that

25:30

old general and putting it on and like

25:32

like kind of like dancing around

25:34

something and falling asleep on it now

25:35

is it ghost of his wife holy shit and

25:38

interesting I did not know that you

25:40

wouldn't know though well nobody knew

25:41

because it wasn't in the film I would

25:43

say that they gotta get those paranormal

25:46

stay people out there don't let those

25:47

ghost hunters know how to really hunt

25:48

go-sees fucking assholes

25:50

do this experiment so the experiment is

25:53

they use poor talcum powder down on the

25:55

tables and they put the wine glasses on

25:58

the 61 glasses on very rickety small

26:01

tables they come back at in the morning

26:04

and they're like oh my god and they see

26:08

that the wine glass was one of them has

26:11

slightly shifted right and they're just

26:14

like this can't be done this can't like

26:16

be done by not touching this table and

26:17

they're like Calista come not just table

26:19

unless the closer like water they put

26:20

back in the rest and she just goes like

26:23

uh and they all like try to like nudge

26:26

the table they're always like nudging

26:28

there there's no way there's no way on

26:30

one of these would move it's so stupid

26:31

it's just so it's such a fucking junkie

26:34

waste of time I love like and I would

26:37

say yeah they are they're the worst they

26:40

are definitely the worst I would say the

26:42

best though is one that we didn't watch

26:43

today is the ghost hunters that was the

26:45

original one to to come out of all the

26:48

one with the with the the front mounted

26:51

cameras front mounted cameras they do

26:54

the whole thing with the taps and they

26:55

they give the evidence to the person at

26:57

the end of the show yeah you know for

27:00

the most part they need to get they get

27:01

cool stuff it's all shadows and and make

27:04

believe and those terribly bizarre sound

27:06

waves that they get that don't actually

27:08

exist are they they look they are the

27:11

nicest as well to the ghosts on my

27:13

opinion are these the guys that like

27:15

mostly go for like mental hospitals and

27:17

they go like place yeah

27:19

which we are going to go to one very

27:21

very soon yes we will goddamnit I want

27:23

to go too and the other thing to

27:24

definitely want to go to Montclair New

27:26

Jersey laughs man all right but so the

27:29

Mothman that's all man I've been

27:32

obsessed with the Mothman since I was

27:33

like 13 years old well yeah it's for the

27:35

mother the Mothman whenever I was a kid

27:37

I had a book of like urban legends yeah

27:40

there was an illustration of the Mothman

27:42

that was one of the most terrifying I'm

27:45

pretty sure I had a same exact book I

27:47

think some of that illustration of the

27:49

Mothma the famous one right yeah let's

27:50

on 'fl this is a question we want to put

27:53

to our viewing audience if you let

27:56

listening or listening I mean zombies

27:59

editage to edit it all right so ah this

28:01

is a question for you guys um are we

28:04

real or are we go sir you listening to

28:06

this right now are we goes uh if you

28:09

have a haunting you would like us to

28:11

investigate let us know we will do the

28:14

real deal haunting we're the only ones

28:15

you could get rid of this ghost and

28:17

we're not going to bring cameras in

28:18

there now I mean we're gonna we're going

28:20

to bring some cameras and remember

28:21

hammers we're going to be respectful to

28:23

the goats and if you live in the New

28:24

York area Long Island Staten Island

28:27

please hit us up anywhere anywhere that

28:30

we can get to on a train from Brooklyn

28:33

if you have anything like this email me

28:36

at Marcus dot J dot parks at gmail.com

28:41

do it email let go and we're gonna try

28:44

to do it the ghost will the bus goes for

28:47

you we will stop you're going once again

28:49

Henry we got to go in there with respect

28:51

and we might not find any goat we're

28:53

gonna fucking go in there we're gonna

28:54

kick these ghosts in their fucking nut

28:57

sounds like goats lab right now right

29:00

now smell my grab a coat so I'm pushing

29:02

down a better one I can already sat in

29:04

rows I mean that's like Henry shut up

29:06

Henry

29:08

now this is the kind of piece we need to

29:11

find a ghost

29:12

wait a second did you hear that hear

29:14

that what the look back at a pervert oh

29:16

wow wow wow wow you girl

29:18

I think it's thing we've to end the

29:19

fucking episode god damnit ghost yah yah

29:23

yah yah yah at least one usable yah yah

29:28

yah yah yah got the end you guys super

29:33

room from yank now honey we want to know

29:36

what goes on but send us your

29:37

information we're going to go out there

29:38

and we're going to do it and we want to

29:39

interview you and it's gonna be a great

29:41

time so I'll write for Marcus Parks

29:43

Henry Zebrowski hey guys oh this has

29:47

been last podcast on the left we're

29:48

gonna talk to you real soon and excited

29:49

to get your feedback

29:50

yeah me gusta lations megusta lations I

29:53

forgot what it went after me gusta

29:56

lingsha do you not having her

29:57

catchphrase anymore I which one I don't

29:59

you had one I am looking forward to it

30:03

Oh Magoo still a consolation for you as

30:06

well your emails though or a cave comedy

30:09

radio you can just email that calm right

30:11

now you just email Marcus J dot parks

30:14

Gmail okay we're gonna find in cure

30:16

ghosts dot J dot parks doc I'm with the

30:18

parks with a K parks with a K Marcus

30:20

with a C okay with a Jake day with a Jay

30:24

that's all so confusing J stands for

30:26

Jordan oh my god well they're never

30:30

gonna be able to reach us now so it's

30:33

good episode though mark AJ Marquez

30:36

jangly parks Marcus jingling Marcus

30:39

taught junior you didn't hear our Castle

30:41

Jewish marks juggling ugly I'm jungle

30:45

parks goodbye