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The following is a transcript of Episode 2: Demonology by The Last Podcast On The Left.

This transcript was based on text automatically generated via YouTube's closed captioning system. If you notice any errors, please feel free to correct them.

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00:03

[Music]

00:06

welcome to the last podcast on the left

00:09

second episode number 2 number duce I

00:13

guarantee it won't be shitty however I'm

00:19

been Kissel with me as always the

00:22

beautiful succulent luscious co-host

00:24

Marcus Parkes how you doing buddy first

00:27

of all thank you for the kind words and

00:28

I am doing wonderfully hell yeah so on

00:31

today's episode we're gonna be talking

00:33

specifically about demons and ghosts

00:36

simply because we are the coolest people

00:39

in the world and this is what everybody

00:42

nearing the age of 30 years discusses

00:45

with their won number uno best friend

00:49

yes all right so what do we got we got

00:52

demons on the list which of course have

00:54

been but let's say the arch villains of

00:57

many a horror film throughout the years

00:59

oh it's a great subject to or it's a

01:01

great villain have it's a fantastic

01:04

villain and really a villain that is far

01:07

more terrifying than than others on

01:09

account you can't see it unless the

01:12

demon wants you to see it you know you

01:14

have no ability to possibly destroy it

01:17

I have no ideal good I haven't figured

01:20

out how how would you possibly get a

01:21

killer demon

01:22

well you can have an exorcist type of

01:26

thing from of course do you remember I

01:27

mean there are ways to stave them off

01:30

but for the most part I mean for example

01:33

drag me to hell right fantastic Sam

01:36

Raimi's last movie which I absolutely

01:37

loved what a perfect

01:39

um the pinnacle of his brain I in my

01:42

opinion it was funny it was scary it was

01:44

goopy it was gross it was everything

01:46

that you wanted Sam Raimi to be and

01:48

especially coming off the heels of

01:49

spider-man 3 yeah thank Christ he was

01:52

able to get his horror brain back but in

01:54

that movie there is you know the old

01:57

Mexican mystic of course that was and I

02:00

love that I love that so much because

02:02

you know the movie starts with this

02:05

woman in contact with his demon and her

02:07

son is pulled down right hell like I

02:10

mean the very first scene of the movie

02:11

is an eight-year-old being

02:13

hold into the depths of hell literally

02:15

right to hell I do it yeah I enjoy that

02:17

was not an elaborate piece of wording or

02:21

anything like that dragged me to hell

02:22

it's literally just a demon the earth

02:23

opens yeah as if it's a you know a small

02:26

woman's vagina on her wedding night and

02:29

and then immediately gets you know and

02:32

immediately grabs a small leg or an arm

02:34

and drags it right down to hell and then

02:37

the scene into the say it's a end of the

02:40

second act

02:41

whenever the protagonist goes with her

02:45

fortune teller buddy and they go to this

02:47

woman's like I believe there's someone

02:49

who can help you right and of course

02:51

this was all you know a based because

02:54

this all had to happen because the woman

02:56

worked in an insurance company mmm-hmm

02:58

the elderly which came in she was a

03:00

banker she worked at a bank oh she was a

03:02

banker yeah okay so she was a banker and

03:04

an elderly lady came in looking for a

03:06

loan and frankly I don't know how that

03:08

woman entered the the bank I doubt

03:11

that's one security should have stopped

03:12

anytime they have black nails and she

03:15

was probably 35 G's old gypsy woman yeah

03:18

so whole gypsy women are terrifying

03:20

gypsies aged like dogs and this isn't

03:22

anything to say rude about dogs because

03:24

I love dogs but obviously so this

03:27

elderly petrifying desperate looking

03:30

very homely as if she would have no

03:32

power in the world which is which is

03:34

always so ironic about the witch they

03:36

look like the elderly woman that needs

03:38

help crossing the street when in fact

03:39

they're the elderly woman that's gonna

03:41

put a curse on you and eventually

03:43

inevitably encourage a demon to drag you

03:45

to hell oh yeah so the elderly lady goes

03:48

in there and she's like I need a loan

03:49

for whatever kind of home she had what

03:51

it was that she needed an extension on

03:53

her mortgage but okay she didn't get the

03:55

extension on her mortgage then she would

03:57

be thrown out of her home and I enjoy

04:00

that Sam Raimi kind of took into account

04:01

the economic situation of the time as

04:03

well with a lot of people would relate

04:05

to that witch gypsy woman yeah and the

04:09

protagonist the girl was had just been

04:12

spoken to about her boss about being a

04:14

little rougher a little tougher she's

04:15

trying to get a promotion that's right

04:16

and shine go in ahead and she's going

04:18

against an Asian fellow who is horrible

04:20

man he's a horrible man but I give him

04:22

kudos you know he's a go-getter he's a

04:25

go-getter and he is an Asian

04:26

mother he has to talk to every night and

04:28

tell her that he's doing the best he can

04:29

yeah I you know note no qualms with him

04:33

you know you go out there you do the

04:34

best he can but it makes for a very

04:35

difficult job for this young lady

04:37

because she has a good soul and she

04:38

doesn't want to tell people no exactly

04:40

and so the very next person that comes

04:43

in right after the speech is the old

04:45

gypsy woman who's a very sympathetic

04:48

character you know - it's an old woman

04:50

she's got a horrible hack hacking cough

04:52

oh yeah she's spitting shit up into a in

04:55

a fucking handkerchief hmm and she goes

04:58

in to the boss and like hey can we

05:00

really we need to help this woman out

05:02

and boss like well you need to make the

05:04

tough decisions right and so she goes

05:06

out and she denies the woman's alone and

05:09

the woman I mean I will say you know she

05:12

made the right business decision that's

05:14

the thing I mean this woman isn't paying

05:16

back any loan now I don't think that the

05:18

Gypsy Oh what does she do maybe tarot

05:20

cards outside of her front stoop or and

05:24

the very best some of some old skeleton

05:26

bones if she throws against the wall and

05:28

said tell somebody you don't have cancer

05:30

yeah whatever it might be so I

05:32

understand the woman's eye you know odds

05:33

are this woman isn't financially

05:34

successful enough to deserve this you

05:36

know

05:37

extension of course and so this what the

05:40

protagonist denies her the extension you

05:43

know is very you know very nice with

05:45

just like I'm sorry I can't do it and so

05:48

the old gypsy woman gets down on her

05:51

knees and starts begging her it's like I

05:52

beg you I beg you to give me the loan

05:55

yeah there and that exceed very pathetic

05:57

Xena yeah and the girl like throws her

06:00

off and like kind of screams and

06:03

everyone in everyone in the bank like

06:06

looks and like sees that this is

06:07

happening and the whole thing comes

06:09

because she shamed the gypsy woman you

06:13

shamed me she felt terrible about it

06:15

yeah absolutely and of course the gypsy

06:17

woman as I'm not sure if this is the

06:20

case with all demon mythology but

06:22

certainly it was in the in this case I

06:23

guess this is more of a witch situation

06:25

summoning the demon from hell she

06:27

grabbed a the button yeah from her

06:29

jacket and then with that button she was

06:32

able to place the curse on the woman and

06:34

man things just really went downhill for

06:38

that chick from there

06:39

it went very downhill and it's got it

06:42

has one of my favorite endings to a

06:44

horror movie ever

06:45

well it's got that classic it's a

06:47

classic you know twist which is so

06:49

perfect because her not to get too much

06:51

into this film but apparently we are

06:52

let's do it

06:54

well I I think it's it's important to

06:56

talk about it because uh I mean it's up

06:58

there with the Paranormal Activity

07:00

movies I like said the best demon uh the

07:04

best demon horror movies of the last 10

07:06 20 years I mean I totally agree it's 07:09

very hard to do the demon movies right

07:11

and yeah and Sam Raimi certainly nailed

07:13

it with this one so yeah of course the

07:15

end is the classic if we're gonna ruin

07:18

it for you yeah so uh mute it if you

07:20

want to but you've seen the movie

07:22

already yeah so pause it now watch the

07:24

movie and come back um but of course her

07:28

boyfriend played by I forget the name of

07:30

the guy yeah it's just one of those

07:31

douchey looking guys as a matter of fact

07:33

he's the del got no not the del guy he's

07:35

the PC guy yes yeah john hodgman is the

07:38

the mac and this or john hodgman is the

07:40

pc disguise the mac yes yeah the mac so

07:42

he's a stallion of a fella easy he's got

07:45

this one coin that he's been keeping in

07:47

an envelope and so inevitably the coin

07:50

and the end the end a button get

07:52

confused in the same envelope both

07:53

circles around the same weight the same

07:56

size so they go through all of the

07:58

pizzazz of like getting getting the the

08:01

coin you're getting the button to the

08:03

grave reversing the curse by putting it

08:05

on he'd put it on somebody else didn't

08:07

they no they gave it back to the witch

08:10

the Witch like she went to the grave and

08:12

dug up the witch which is always seen if

08:14

any every horror movie needs to have a

08:17

dig up the grave scene yeah and it

08:19

always has to be raining because God

08:22

works in mysterious ways

08:23

well the great thing about this movie is

08:24

that like you get the feeling from that

08:26

scene that this is the life this is the

08:29

climax of the movie like its overt she's

08:31

you know she's defeated the witch you

08:34

know - everything is like they're going

08:35

off on a weekend trip they're both so

08:37

happy so happy newly in love it's as if

08:40

they just started dating again you know

08:42

though yeah they're engaged now

08:44

everything is so beautiful and perfect

08:45

and then of course they're on the train

08:48

platform mmm

08:50

pulls out the envelope finds out that's

08:52

where the button is

08:53

so they basically just gave this woman a

08:55

nice piece of change yeah you just made

08:57

the gypsy woman more money and i knows

09:00

gypsies know how to spend coins i don't

09:02

know why i don't know what is it well

09:04

gypsies only deal in coins yeah it's

09:06

very bizarre shillings and things of

09:08

that nature they're similar to

09:10

leprechauns in that to that degree and

09:12

then of course there at the train

09:14

station and she realizes the buttons

09:16

there looks at her watch I about 13

09:18

seconds before you'd be drugged to hell

09:19

yes so she grabs on her husband don't

09:22

let me go don't let me go all this shit

09:23

but what the fuck is he gonna do yeah

09:25

he's battling the devil yeah and one of

09:28

the devil's many let's call him children

09:29

uh and so then of course she gets

09:32

drugged down to hell and no one seems to

09:34

notice on the platform by the way well

09:36

what happens is that she falls onto the

09:38

tracks like she falls onto the train

09:41

tracks and there's and that gives Raimi

09:43

the opportunity to do this amazing shot

09:45

where he does the shot like up to the

09:49

guy does the shot up to the boyfriend

09:50

from below from the train tracks so he

09:53

has the shot of him his reaction looking

09:56

down at her right and just like this

09:59

intense just his entire mind breaks like

10:03

he's this man is broken no one else is

10:05

gonna see this no and no one else can

10:08

see it it's down there and it happens in

10:10

the spam a bee takes five seconds five

10:12

seconds out earth opens demon comes and

10:15

grabs her don't let me go puts her hand

10:17

out what the hell is he gonna do Earth

10:19

closes and train comes yeah which is

10:21

actually pretty fantastic and I think

10:23

that's also we'll talk about some horror

10:25

and demon ghost stories in a second but

10:28

I feel like that's sort of how it

10:28

happens the train comes that what's the

10:30

human reaction is I guess you got hit by

10:32

the train yeah maybe was a suicide

10:33

attempt but they never found the body

10:36

never found out dot dot what the fuck

10:39

happened and it did such it's um rainy

10:41

so good at it's like bringing these uh

10:43

like doing something new but still

10:45

keeping the old conventions of horror

10:48

movies right I cuz what he did like as

10:50

suit like the train goes and then the

10:53

title comes up drag me to hell I love at

10:56

the end of the movie and I love that I

10:58

love the title at the end of the movie I

11:00

just saw insidious and they did the

11:02

title at the beginning and the end as

11:03

well

11:05

yeah we'll talk about insidious a little

11:06

bit later but that was pretty fantastic

11:08

so Marcus you were saying that you have

11:11

you you feel like you've had an

11:13

experience with an actual diamond or a

11:15

ghost

11:16

I saw something whenever I was a kid uh

11:19

that I can't explain and it's so vivid

11:23

in my memory it's not a dream it's not a

11:26

dream it's not it's not a dream it's

11:28

just it's something that I absolutely

11:29

can't explain where we were you're

11:32

growing up in Texas how old were you

11:33

when you saw this ah I was somewhere

11:35

between like 8 and 10 okay

11:38

somewhere around there so I will say the

11:39

imagination of an eight-year-old child

11:41

can be pretty extreme very extreme but

11:43

also when you do see something which I

11:45

think it would make everyone always says

11:47

oh it would always possesses the

11:49

children all this stuff hmm you know

11:51

they're open very open to see it and

11:53

they also know hey I can let this kids

11:55

see me no one's gonna believe them I

11:57

mean that's why uncles

11:58

you know rape young because no one

12:02

believes a child though they I think the

12:03

pedophile people believe the children

12:05

now yeah they did more about the

12:06

pedophilia than they do about the demon

12:08

oh we've got to evolve a little bit more

12:10

where we're at with with child sex abuse

12:13

we need to get with child demon abuse

12:15

because these demons are haunting these

12:18

poor children so you're eight to ten

12:20

years old you're in Texas hanging out

12:21

I'm not in the country I'm not home I'm

12:24

actually in Lubbock Texas I mean I'm in

12:26

a city oh okay yeah I ministered I'm

12:28

staying with my cousin James and for

12:31

some reason in the middle of the night I

12:33

wake up and his bedroom faced the street

12:36

and I wake up middle of the night and I

12:40

see something out the window like I see

12:43

something glowing right but I see some

12:45

like this green light and I'm fucking

12:48

terrified but I get up and he didn't

12:50

live by was it a major street intercept

12:53

down no it was a resident it was like a

12:54

neighborhood okay now like say is pretty

12:56

much like suburbs so your neighborhood I

12:58

mean the light the green light didn't

12:59

turn yellow and then red

13:01

no God no we've established on a plate

13:04

was not a stoplight uh and I got up and

13:08

I looked out the window and doubt like

13:11

he lived on kind of a t-bone Street

13:13

where there was a street that was you

13:15

know like Tebow t-bone

13:18

like there was a street that ran

13:19

directly in front of his you know what

13:21

I'm saying right uh and I looked out and

13:25

there was this I saw this green blob

13:27

kind of green blob --is-- type thing but

13:30

with the face of a pig and horns of just

13:34

sort of like moving slowly towards me I

13:38

I and I remember this clear sucking it's

13:41

my most vivid childhood memory

13:43

wow that's terrifying yeah it was

13:45

terrified I've never been it like i ike

13:47

it doesn't scare me anymore my it

13:50

doesn't scare me

13:52

so yes you saw this green blob it was

13:54

coming for you with it was it saying

13:55

anything it was like Marcus no it was

13:58

complete like I heard nothing okay like

14:00

that was I didn't hear anything at all

14:02

uh but it was it was kind of it seemed

14:05

like it was like half form like it was

14:07

somewhere in between here and there

14:09

did you feel something inside of your

14:11

body and then severe intense fear but

14:13

you also feel it was kind of like with

14:15

you it's so nice oh it was you just were

14:18

looking at it it was almost like it

14:20

didn't even know I was looking at it hmm

14:23

you know I mean like it was just there

14:25

so you wonder maybe it's in some other

14:27

dimension could it is just like

14:29

wandering around and for some reason you

14:31

had a small little gateway window into

14:33

it before I saw the great eye hole I saw

14:36

the green Pig devil ha ha ha the green

14:39

big devil yeah yeah sounds like an

14:41

amazing demon I mean that's the thing I

14:43

take I I do a wooden one reason I love

14:46

demons and ghosts is because there is a

14:48

with the recent poll I have it up here

14:50

somewhere I forget there's a Gallup poll

14:52

in 2009 32% of Americans believe in

14:57

ghosts legitimately death which and

14:59

demons which that's a fairly high number

15:01

of people I mean you know what is that

15:04

let's say damn near two out of five yeah

15:07

just about people so you would imagine

15:08

they would have had some experience with

15:10

them in one way or another I know I'd

15:12

expect it to be higher honestly well I

15:14

get that's the thing I mean there's a

15:16

lot of skeptics out there and of course

15:18

I mean I think we're all one of them I

15:19

had one I guess it was a ghost

15:22

experience growing up I grew up very

15:24

religious mm-hmm and so remember I was

15:26

very fat toes in seventh grade and I

15:29

just really wanted to lose a lot of

15:31

weight

15:31

like that so I was lying down in bed I

15:33

was at my uncle's house and what was it

15:35

deaf someplace in Minnesota I forget the

15:37

name of the town and I just got this

15:39

overwhelming feeling of peace which was

15:42

really bizarre

15:42

yeah and sure enough two months later I

15:44

lost a hundred pounds Wow

15:45

I didn't imagine you feeling peace ever

15:47

I know I know this is before the booze

15:50

and comedy yeah um and yes I mean I but

15:54

it really did feel like there was

15:55

something else in the room and it was

15:56

almost like whispering like you're gonna

15:57

be fine all of these very bizarre things

16:00

yeah which i think is the closest I've

16:01

ever come to actually like meeting a

16:03

spirit or a ghost and it was bizarre

16:05

because it felt very real yeah and it

16:08

was just like and then I woke up and

16:10

they woke up like extremely refreshed

16:11

but it wasn't a dream I mean this was

16:13

before I fell asleep yeah or maybe it

16:15

was a dream I have no idea but I mean I

16:16

don't it wasn't a dream I'm fairly

16:18

certain of that you know that's the only

16:19

other you never hear the positive ghost

16:21

stories the only thing that I can think

16:22

of it's even close to those never that

16:24

Ghost gave Dan Aykroyd a blowjob in

16:26

ghostbusters and you know what demons

16:28

could just come and just be sucking

16:29

dicks all over town I'm sure they would

16:31

be because that's probably the sin that

16:32

sent them down to hell in the beginning

16:33

I'd imagine so you know I had a friend

16:36

of mine I his name was Pete he became an

16:38

evangelical Christian over this I

16:40

haven't spoken to him in a little while

16:41

but I think he's running a church now

16:43

and one of the major reasons that he

16:45

converted to Christianity was because he

16:48

swore that he saw a demon or a ghost

16:50

floating over a bridge okay and the

16:54

event like he called me it was all

16:56

emotional it was a huge wreck and he

16:58

took the events so seriously that he

17:00

completely changed his life I don't

17:01

think he drank after that have her again

17:03

raizy so I mean there is something to

17:05

these ghost stories and to these sort of

17:07

like demon situations that I mean people

17:09

really get affected by them they really

17:11

do I mean we had a like back home like

17:14

you know you know kid teenagers love the

17:17

ghost stories and they loved the haunted

17:18

houses and we were no different we had

17:20

as children cemetery Oh perfect our town

17:25

it was great and it was all children of

17:28

like pioneers and settlers you know all

17:30

kids you know like all kids that died

17:32

whenever and there only died dressed to

17:36

terrify yeah I mean a pioneer children

17:38

that's a whole nother level of horror oh

17:40

it is uh and there was a house some dumb

17:44

motherfucker

17:45

I don't know why built a house right

17:48

across the road in about 200 yards down

17:50

kaki very cocky and whoa people they did

17:55

not last long in there I imagine that I

17:57

would tell you my advice to you if if

18:00

Zelda Rubinstein is your realtor not you

18:04

cannot buy any house this plot this all

18:06

sounds 2 bedroom 3 file well it sounds

18:10

nice is there a cemetery

18:13

absolutely that's what I'm looking for

18:15

that's old yeah and there were all kinds

18:19

of great ghost stories about this place

18:20

like they said that uh and it was so

18:23

weird because like the ghost stories

18:24

didn't really match up with a children's

18:26

cemetery it was all adult ghosts like

18:29

there was a like they would hear things

18:31

like they would hear poker games going

18:35

on downstairs really yeah they would

18:37

hear poker games going on downstairs

18:38

that go down nothing going on they had

18:41

radios that would turn on and play old

18:43

timey music when they weren't plugged in

18:45

that's era and the weirdest thing and I

18:48

heard I heard this one for myself was a

18:51

friend of Oh before I tell this one

18:53

there was another cassette - I have two

18:55

cassette tape stories on this one the

18:57

first one is these two guys were like

19:01

these guys I know they're not lying

19:02

because they didn't have enough

19:03

imagination or the smarts to make this

19:05

all right like Kyle's or animals and I'm

19:08

a person with your pals and then a ghost

19:11

came into my house well what was that he

19:14

goes Jay all right

19:16

they were driving past I'd Ellis

19:18

cemetery one night and they were

19:19

listening to a cassette tape and right

19:22

as they went by the cemetery the

19:24

cassette tape started playing backwards

19:26

on Blake and me it immediately just

19:29

stopped and started playing backwards it

19:32

was ridiculous and read about I mean

19:34

that's the thing and that's the thing

19:35

that is always so funny to me about

19:37

Ouija boards everyone thinks that that's

19:39

the what summons the devil but really if

19:41

you were a demon or a ghost the way the

19:43

communicate would be through the radio

19:45

yeah through a cell phone through any

19:47

sort of electric current not a fucking

19:48

piece of wood know that you roll around

19:50

to fake a little thing on not at all now

19:52

there's modern we used to have a Ouija

19:54

board growing up

19:55

all of my friends we were super into it

19:57

and I went to Catholic school as a

19:59

matter of fact my freshman year of high

20:00

school father Steve allowed us to watch

20:03

The Exorcist Wow but not as a fictional

20:06

movie he believed it was real yeah and

20:10

so we literally had like an entire

20:12

quarter just about the devil from The

20:15

Exorcist which was awesome that is great

20:18

it was the first time I ever was like

20:20

Catholic schools okay you know these

20:22

people are insane completely insane yeah

20:24

but uh but yeah it was a blast

20:26

and so we had a Ouija board and we were

20:29

able to summon this demon called Deb Deb

20:31

and maybe we just never let him or her

20:34

finish her name but we just went with

20:36

Deb Deb yeah and I'm telling you man we

20:38

really the first one who ended up

20:40

burning yeah and then we ended up

20:42

burning the Ouija board because it was

20:44

terrified my used to scare the cat the

20:46

lightest literally used to flicker I

20:48

mean we were young but it would move

20:49

around we were we were in high school so

20:52

we weren't like that young so we would

20:54

move around and at one point my friend

20:56

Josh Kahn's you know he was just being a

20:58

little schmuck yeah I'm realizing the

21:00

power of the Deb Deb demon beast woman

21:02

or man I'm not sure what Deb Deb is yeah

21:05

and he started farting on it you know so

21:09

throwing Doritos on it chips uh you know

21:13

any sort of puffed corn product same

21:16

things you know real Deb Deb all this

21:18

jazz so uh you know but an hour later

21:21

Josh leaves he goes into his big you

21:23

know green Pontiac he's driving down a

21:25

Wisconsin Road and Deb Deb tells us you

21:29

know Josh she's gonna die

21:31

Wow kill Josh Kahn's so as Josh is

21:34

driving we come to find out the day

21:37

after he's driving on the road first of

21:40

all deer darts in front of him but

21:41

that's okay that happens yeah uh and

21:43

then on an oncoming car this is a

21:45

two-lane highway oncoming car I would

21:47

say about two hundred yards away just

21:50

cuts off his lights you know just

21:52

playing the game just like cuts off his

21:53

left which which is you know they might

21:55

have been playing the game you know if

21:57

you flash me then we turn around and

21:58

kill you yeah nonetheless that could

22:00

have been you know Deb Deb's planned for

22:02

his death I have no idea demons work in

22:04

mysterious ways much like God absolutely

22:06

they sort of are gods

22:08

gray and so that happens and then next

22:11

thing you know is windshield wipers

22:13

start turning on going crazy he ends up

22:17

having to pull over into a ditch just

22:19

terrified of everything and the next day

22:22

he was totally convinced that Deb Deb

22:24

was real he was saying I forget oh my

22:27

goodness I should really try to contact

22:28

him for the and give you a more in-depth

22:31

story because there were some other

22:32

things that were happening to him that

22:34

were just completely bizarre and so that

22:38

was one event that we had with that

22:40

Ouija board

22:40

and shortly after that we ended up going

22:43

taking it to the woods there was this

22:44

old abandoned shatner loved abandoned

22:47

checks in the woods yeah exactly and you

22:49

know it hadn't been used in forever

22:50

although you know all of us kids I think

22:52

the kids before us put pentagrams all

22:54

over it yeah yeah it always like a burnt

22:56

it was half burnt down so we would play

22:58

with the Ouija board in there and we had

23:00

a we had a DB a CD player you know hmm

23:03

and so we would tell the thing now all

23:05

the remotes keep in mind all the remotes

23:07

were on the table so no one was touching

23:10

the remotes and the swear to God it

23:11

would start changing songs over and it

23:13

wasn't on shuffle but we truly believed

23:16

that it was real and then we went back

23:18

to Pete's house and we burned it in the

23:20

parking lot no it was the driveway of

23:22

his house I mean it's a the other story

23:25

that that was from that house the other

23:28

cassette story was a friend of mine

23:30

found this found a cassette tape in this

23:34

house that was just an old man reciting

23:37

mary had a little lamb over and over all

23:40

that is so terror and then he would just

23:41

throw in then every once while he get

23:43

angry and just like Mary Helen Mary had

23:46

a fucking little lamb Wow a little lamb

23:49

well he says why it's no I mean it it's

23:53

just bizarre like how like how did an

23:56

old man like record that and then just

23:58

visit the house and throw it down like

24:00

it was the weirdest fucking shit ever

24:03

why he's like a possession situation

24:05

doesn't it mm-hmm

24:06

seems like it I mean that was a scare it

24:08

was the scariest fucking house ever I

24:10

mean I loved it yeah of course and the

24:12

other people had left the how the people

24:14

who live there had left the house so

24:16

quickly that we went in there so

24:19

furniture in the house we found a

24:21

a new suit in the closet with tags still

24:24

on really yeah like the tat like they

24:27

hadn't even they didn't even finish

24:28

moving out of the house really they just

24:31

they just got you know essentials and

24:34

got the fuck out of there I mean you

24:36

know people don't just do that no so

24:39

yeah eyes a house and buys a nice suit

24:41

and buys a whole series of things those

24:43

from Dillard's but still well Dillard's

24:45

is one of the finest stores in Texas

24:47

I've heard great things about Diller I

24:49

mean it must be something pretty

24:52

traumatic to the psyche if they're just

24:54

like I am out of here

24:55

yeah I don't want anything to do with

24:56

house I'm gonna eat you know however

24:57

much money they spent on the house just

24:59

eat it because you can't you know resale

25:01

in the house

25:01

no you know I mean that's the thing I

25:04

think that these you know these people

25:06

who get possessed they kind of get a bad

25:10

rap yeah cuz it's it's tough it's you

25:13

don't want to believe them because if

25:15

you believe them then you have to

25:16

completely change your entire worldview

25:17

and you know you have to stop doing meth

25:21

in the back rooms at shady bars in New

25:23

York City God knows you don't want to

25:25

get sent to hell although if you did

25:27

have an option of living a good pious

25:29

life and becoming an angel or living a

25:31

fantastic life such as the one that we

25:33

live and becoming a demon what do you

25:34

choose uh well you know just demons just

25:37

seem to have more fun they do seem to

25:39

have fun here on earth but I have a

25:40

feeling their homeland yeah they don't

25:44

seem to be having too much of a good

25:45

time down there and the only not and

25:47

that's the thing I don't think that

25:48

humans can become demons well I think

25:51

demons demons are I think a fixed thing

25:54

well the thing about I just despite I

25:57

mean it also I mean depends like you

25:59

know it's Freddy Krueger a demon well

26:01

that's the thing I mean I would I would

26:03

say that he probably is a demon because

26:06

he's he's definitely dead and he's

26:08

certainly coming back to haunt people

26:10

mm-hmm you know in their dreams which I

26:13

think that okay yeah here's the thing so

26:15

some demons if they're regarded as

26:18

spirits they can they can belong to

26:20

either classes so they can be a once

26:23

human and then turn team and or just

26:25

never human and then be demon that seems

26:28

to be the overall you gotta do some

26:30

pretty bad shit to go demon well I mean

26:33

I don't think me and you were going to

26:35

go demon just for saying horrible shit

26:37

that's true I mean I think you do have

26:39

to do some terrible things on earth in

26:42

order to have your life your afterlife

26:45

you know being being forced to continue

26:48

on torturing and maybe maybe the torture

26:51

for them is the fact that they have to

26:52

stay here on earth could be and still

26:55

deal with people yeah you know it's like

26:57

you hated people on earth you killed

26:59

fifteen thousand of them but now for the

27:01

all eternity you gotta hang out with

27:03

people and keep killing them always you

27:04

know I'd rather just be a ghost or an

27:07

angel and just never have to come back

27:09

here like say for example uh paranormal

27:13

activity

27:14

yes demon or ghost well I think we have

27:17

classic demon I think it's a classic

27:19

demon situation then because it

27:22

well they explain it in the movie they

27:24

think it's a demon yeah and I think

27:26

there's even they even bring up books

27:28

and everything right right right and I

27:30

agree I think you know it's got those

27:31

well it's gonna get it's funny used a

27:33

green pig face because it has those big

27:35

claws yeah or what are the horse claws I

27:38

guess more like go goat their claws yeah

27:41

classic classic devil goat goats feet so

27:45

certainly in paranormal those are

27:47

definitely that's definitely to be a

27:48

demon mmm it's kind of been dead I don't

27:50

you what do you have to do to appease

27:52

the demon that's the question that I

27:54

can't I don't think they're I don't

27:56

think there really is any appeasement

27:57

they're only here to make your life

28:01

miserable is that the that's pretty I

28:03

think they just pick you that seems so

28:06

bizarre to me yeah for no real reason I

28:08

mean I'll tell you these this uh another

28:11

good movie that deals with it is a wreck

28:13

and wreck to which I owe wreck is

28:16

amazing that's incredible I've never

28:18

seen wreck two will wreck two is also

28:20

very good but uh yeah they uh remade it

28:23

in America's quarantine yeah quarantine

28:25

which is which is fine ever saw it well

28:28

you know it's a it's your classic story

28:30

with the thing people going into a space

28:33

and you know you have no idea what's

28:34

going on and then the when the

28:37

government acquires your building nine

28:40

out of ten times it's a nuclear

28:42

situation yeah but one other ten times a

28:44

demons in that fucking building and

28:46

that's really what you have to be care

28:48

with yeah and it was yeah just men this

28:51

never I never knew the Spanish could

28:53

pull off a horror movie like that well I

28:55

mean have you seen how they live I think

28:56

that it's perfect and also going back to

28:59

Catholicism no one's more Spanish or

29:02

nomads like than Spanish people that is

29:04

true and they really really believe it

29:06

as far as as far as it being true and I

29:10

think that's what gives the demon all of

29:12

its power and which i think is also

29:14

probably why they just attacked children

29:16

because children believe that they're

29:18

real as an adult I kind of want them to

29:20

be real yeah but at the same time if I

29:22

saw a demon and be like oh my God look

29:24

at you there but just demon out just

29:26

being a demon that's pretty cool so if

29:29

it's theoretically they can't actually

29:32

do anything to hurt or hurt you until he

29:35

get you to hell right uh well I mean the

29:37

girl and paranormal activity could sure

29:39

as fuck hurt her yeah that's true

29:41

and she she had said she got some

29:43

physical shape she got dragged around

29:45

she got thrown around a little bit

29:46

that's true I'm a big guy though you're

29:48

a very big guy but I don't think demons

29:50

have any like strength ceilings yeah

29:53

they just have nonstop yeah they they

29:55

can do anything they want hell I could

29:56

probably rip off your arms they like can

29:58

they do that I don't know I mean is

30:00

there really can we think of any uh

30:03

movies in which the demon itself

30:06

actually can inflict physical harm upon

30:10

the victims

30:11

well I'm thinking the Hellraiser I guess

30:15

pinhead is technically a Dean I think oh

30:16

I think pinhead is uh one of the best

30:19

examples of a demon yeah and so he can

30:21

certainly you know he just takes

30:22

people's skins right off man

30:24

yeah John I mean to who the guy who did

30:26

the special effects in Hellraiser is not

30:29

the same guy to the special effects in

30:31

the thing uh who would that be John

30:34

Carpenter no no he wasn't this bad like

30:36

John Carter was the director right uh

30:38

but I think it's the same guy because

30:40

the special about Jeannie is I think I

30:42

thought Tom Savini was broke really big

30:44

with the thing hmm but I don't know I

30:48

don't think Tom Savini did the thing all

30:49

right it's possible that he didn't yeah

30:51

okay I can't remember the guys name but

30:53

I think it's the same but yeah uh I mean

30:55

really just Hellraiser there are so many

30:57

terrifying moments in the first two the

31:00

first to move

31:01

it's like it's like one really long

31:04

movie

31:04

I love about him the first two are

31:06

fantastic the man smoking with no skin

31:08

dollars like there's a great a great

31:10

quote here from one of the cent abite

31:13

Cenobites which it's amazing it it makes

31:15

me hungry for Cinnabons is really what

31:17

it does I feel like a santa bite should

31:19

have a lot of cinnamon into perhaps a

31:20

nice little frosting atop them uh he

31:23

says no tears please it's a waste of

31:26

good suffering uh which that is

31:28

absolutely terrifying

31:30

Oh to think about and then the voice of

31:33

pinhead like that guy's voice I mean it

31:36

was very peaceful and comforting which i

31:38

think is interesting you think it's

31:40

piece on cut like I will decide you see

31:42

where you say to be aware you can see

31:43

it's peaceful in comfort it's at home

31:45

it's calm yeah it's very calm but it's

31:48

got that that little bit of rasp to it

31:50

like that guy fucking honed that mic he

31:53

owns that fuckin voice oh yeah no easy I

31:56

mean I if there are demons in real life

31:59

there's no way they're gonna be messing

32:01

with him no I'm sure it'll be like when

32:04

we you know got into the entertainment

32:06

business and then you see that it's all

32:08

you know BS and everyone's actually kind

32:10

of an asshole I assume there's a demon

32:12

down there in hell is just like love the

32:14

Hellraiser series yeah and they're like

32:15

I got to go meet pin it I got it I got a

32:17

see pin and I gotta see what he's all

32:18

about and then as soon as he sees him

32:20

taking off the makeup and he realizes

32:22

the the nails aren't real and it's a

32:24

white makeup and it's just some British

32:26

dude I mean it's got to be devastatingly

32:28

sad for that poor demon boy has to be

32:31

then he watches Little Nicky and he's

32:32

like they're making fun of me ha ha ha

32:34

so that's not good whatsoever the worst

32:37

of the worst representation of demons

32:39

you could ever have you think a little

32:40

Nicky I think I think a little Nikki

32:42

kind of - it takes takes kind of takes

32:44

the wind out of the sails on the demon

32:45

boat

32:47

I've eaten stuff to say at the same time

32:49

you know it's a nice it's a nice little

32:51

picture and it involved Ozzy Osbourne

32:54

yeah so it's nice to give Ozzy Osbourne

32:56

a little bit of work but you know

32:58

they're still making them all over town

32:59

and I think the demon films they're sort

33:02

of they're back in vogue again and we

33:04

can credit paranormal activity and 1 & 2

33:07

for that so the new film insidious is a

33:11

definitely riding that demon wave and

33:13

surprisingly

33:15

was made by the makers of saw and the

33:17

makers of paranormal activity which I

33:20

thought was going to be very very

33:21

interesting because I wanted to see you

33:23

know how polar opposite of horror styles

33:25

you know can really come together in one

33:27

film and I'm usually not like a huge

33:29

person like from people who brought you

33:31

dot dot dot but in this case I thought

33:33

it was sort of a it was interesting to

33:34

see I was interested to see how they

33:36

would mix the subtle subconscious

33:37

storytelling of paranormal activity with

33:39

like the over the top like borderline

33:42

cartoonish uh antics of saw you know I

33:45

mean held jigsaw is a cartoon character

33:47

exactly I mean jigsaw is such a

33:49

ludicrous little beast man yeah compared

33:52

to the demon that's in paranormal

33:53

activity but you know to some degree it

33:56

looks like jigsaw is don't look for

33:57

damage but the demon and paranormal did

34:01

fairly well as well yeah um so uh yeah

34:04

well watch the movie there was

34:05

definitely some camera shots that were

34:07

stolen straight from paranormal yeah

34:10

there was the you know the room shots

34:12

were just be like solid room room room

34:15

really taking their time like

34:17

everything's fine here you know sort of

34:19

a situation and then of course they had

34:21

this the straight on shot of the couple

34:23

in bed just being like so we are the

34:24

happiest people on earth and our lives

34:26

could not get any better

34:28

and then they definitely had a lot of

34:30

like the saw um over the top reveals as

34:34

well because you know saw leaves nothing

34:36

to the imagination and so in this film

34:39

they definitely show demons in their

34:41

full form they had a child demon who was

34:43

like a small popper look like an oozy

34:46

young gentleman I don't know what the

34:48

news he was discussing but apparently

34:50

there's still a depression going on and

34:54

and so that was in it was an interesting

34:58

duality there between the scary you know

35:01

subliminal in the shadows and like the

35:03

over-the-top like in-your-face demon the

35:05

only one demon that I didn't like was

35:07

this uh you know leather jacket and jet

35:09

black hair and he just looked like it

35:12

sounds holy in eighth grade sounds kind

35:14

of like a second-rate Undertaker yeah

35:16

that's exactly what he was like so other

35:18

than that demon I thought all the other

35:20

demons were pretty good so basically the

35:23

story is just about a kid his name is

35:25

Dalton and he fella

35:29

deep into this coma and doctors have no

35:31

idea why he's in a coma if he's anything

35:33

like me he just loves to sleep very

35:36

important so his parents their Josh and

35:39

Renee they go to the doctor I you know

35:41

nothing's going well finally they take

35:43

him home and just put him upstairs and

35:45

then immediately demons just start

35:47

running amuck throughout the house but

35:50

the fella Josh he's a teacher so he's

35:52

hard at work all day grading papers but

35:54

you know it's like he's on the phone

35:56

with her and in the middle of a you know

35:57

an empty classroom real like honey I got

35:59

this got so much work to do and it's

36:01

like you know the answer key just mark

36:05

the things go home and help your wife

36:07

which be haunted by terrible children

36:09

demon ghosts so um yeah so anyway

36:14

inevitably it's like the father finally

36:16

believes that the demons are in the

36:18

house so they just move out like

36:20

immediately like we were talking earlier

36:21

about the home in Texas you know they

36:24

leave their clothes there just like we

36:26

are out of here we are going to a place

36:29

that isn't going to drag me straight to

36:31

hell and very gypsy gypsy is move very

36:35

quick and but of course at the second

36:37

home the hauntings just get worse and

36:39

worse and they finally call in a

36:42

paranormal expert named Elise who is

36:44

played by one of my favorite actresses

36:46

of all time Lin Shaye of the Farrelly

36:48

Brothers movie the Farrelly Brothers you

36:50

might recognize her very wrinkled and

36:52

wounded bosoms that they showed in that

36:55

film obviously not actually hers but

36:57

that was the first time I've ever seen

36:59

breasts in a film it was like ah now Oh

37:00

God that's sad that's that when that

37:03

happens to women so Eddie you know she's

37:07

in there doing you know or paranormal

37:09

stuff she has her you know the the

37:11

devices that read energy and they're

37:13

going oh she had an EKG meter EKG meter

37:15

yeah there was a small camera behind a

37:17

small camera team behind them and just

37:20

recorded them no no yet exist like ghost

37:25

hunters and uh and which is also amazing

37:30

I will say that whatever bullshit show

37:31

oh it's such a terrible show it just

37:33

disproves the existence of ghosts yeah

37:35

absolutely ridiculous it's like saying

37:38

no people are amazing look how good

37:40

people are to one another and then like

37:42

going to Darfur what look at an example

37:45

of how wonderful humanity is um so

37:49

anyhow you know so she's walking through

37:52

the the two great comedic actors are her

37:56

like minions who are recording their

37:58

like out of over the top you know

38:00

retarded people and I think the point of

38:02

the director was trying to make was that

38:04

those people on those ghost hunter shows

38:06

are ridiculous

38:07

yeah and completely flawed and other

38:10

retard somehow nerdier than we are

38:12

somehow which i think is pretty

38:14

fantastic I mean they recorded on tape

38:16

on visual well that's the thing we don't

38:19

actually go anywhere like we just come

38:21

out to Long Island City and do this I

38:23

mean it's not like we're carrying

38:24

anything anywhere yeah it's not like

38:26

we're in an office that looks like a

38:28

coffin yeah Ouija boards all over the

38:30

place and swords voodoo dolls no we're

38:33

totally normal people so uh so beautiful

38:37

busted breasted lin shaye she looks

38:40

around and she realizes you know there's

38:42

definitely demons about and then she

38:44

presents this idea about the further mm

38:47

and long story short about the kid it's

38:50

not even a reveal because it's in the

38:52

previews yeah which I hate the marketing

38:54

for this movie by the way yeah I saw

38:56

there's a posters are all over the the

38:58

trains are they like it's like it's not

39:01

just the house that's haunted and it's

39:03

like why are you telling me that because

39:05

then you know 45 minutes into the film

39:07

when that point is revealed you're like

39:09

I know yeah I totally know this it's on

39:12

every poster for this film yeah but

39:15

anyway a mild hook on that is the kid

39:19

you know the kids in something called

39:21

the further his soul is a traveler which

39:23

you know whatever yeah you know the

39:25

father finds out that he's a traveler

39:27

and so he you know realizes he was once

39:30

haunted as a child long story short he

39:32

goes over to the further confronts all

39:34

the demons there is a fantastic homage

39:36

to the original Nightmare on Elm Street

39:37

with the main demon who does look much

39:40

like Darth Maul the most creative makeup

39:43

job ever but you know truly terrifying

39:46

to some degree they do a fantastical

39:48

Majda Nightmare on Elm Street the very

39:50

beginning sequence when Freddy is

39:52

sharpening his claw they have the exact

39:54

same camera angle

39:55

it's just the demon claw on there which

39:58

was great and uh it was a I would I

40:02

wouldn't want to meet the demon yeah I

40:04

would want to meet I would almost it's

40:06

not to say if I'd want to be Freddy or

40:08

the demon more I think Freddy I might

40:10

want to meet just because he might get

40:11

you off yeah you know he might trapped

40:14

reading depending on the mood that he

40:16

was in yeah you know sometimes men like

40:18

blowjobs sometimes men like to eat a

40:20

lady out hopefully Freddy would be in

40:22

the mood to eat me out so overall I

40:25

would say this is a fantastic film it's

40:26

scary I give it three out of four fats

40:29

yeah which is good yeah yeah that's a

40:32

three out of four fats is one yeah three

40:34

out of four fats so it's almost obese

40:36

we'll give it I'll give it a montana

40:38

housewife nearly obvious but just then

40:41

enough to stay married to the fellow who

40:42

makes 150,000 a year but I would say be

40:45

careful if you're on a date girls find

40:47

these films very very scary if she goes

40:50

down on here she might bite off the old

40:52

wean mmm there are some moments of fear

40:54

so I think the film found a good middle

40:56

ground between the saw and paranormal

40:57

activity my only complaint no bosom no

41:01

that's it well I mean there's a lot of

41:03

kids like that whenever there's like

41:05

well yeah in the movie then usually the

41:08

tits aren't gonna come out if you think

41:10

that's an overall theme I think that's

41:11

an overall theme I guess so but well

41:14

what movie broke them with six cents no

41:16

breasts at all yeah I think also dana

41:17

says no breasts at all oh that's true I

41:20

mean then again I don't know if I want

41:22

to see any one of those characters

41:23

bosoms I know the mom was alright the

41:25

mom was alright and that older elderly

41:27

priest fella yeah I imagine he had some

41:30

pretty good buzz UM's go and probably

41:31

look like lyndshane fucking whatever

41:35

Something About Mary yeah as a great

41:38

film all right well I guess we're gonna

41:39

wrap up this second episode of the last

41:41

podcast on my lap let's do it absolutely

41:43

all about demons next week I think we're

41:45

gonna talk God knows what they know who

41:48

know looser leading ladies of film and

41:51

more film

41:52

well you better stay tuned to listen to

41:54

the last podcast on the web

41:56

[Music]