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The following is a transcript of Episode 5: Sightings by The Last Podcast On The Left.

This transcript was based on text automatically generated via YouTube's closed captioning system. If you notice any errors, please feel free to correct them.

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00:00

I can hand you the fuck out of here man

00:03

what's up that spice don't I what am i

00:13

you are my you're a robot Wow but no why

00:17

could I could be considered a robot

00:20

gladly welcome to West without gas on

00:23

the left the spookiest podcast you're

00:25

ever gonna listen to with this as always

00:27

we've gas Braca

00:29

it reminds me hey it's my birthday today

00:32

happy birthday every birthday and May 1st

00:34

and of course we're recording this

00:36

the skinniest one in the room

00:39

Marcus parks how you doing Mars bars at

00:42

a big gala nice one in this room I'm the

00:44

skinniest one in the round table yeah

00:46

that's sure definitely yeah this this

00:49

one and round table and pretty much

00:51

every podcast second hey Marcus isn't

00:53

really that skinny he's kind of got a

00:55

bit of a guns on him but where's a gun

00:58

it is a gut cock if you're talking about

01:00

a man Oh doc doc I'm not sound like a

01:05

fan or get China yeah it's a gut in a

01:08

cunt

01:09

ah guns again I better give me that gun

01:11

speaking of crazy gun looking is things

01:15

and whatnot we're talking like UFOs

01:17

today yeah the very very special special

01:22

conversation this is a thing ladies and

01:24

gentlemen that today you you opened up

01:27

this document that is now our you know

01:30

our part cast don't know you've

01:32

downloaded our podcast or listening to

01:33

it you're loving it you got to know that

01:36

you're gonna be probably put on some

01:37

sort of list by the government yeah

01:40

government because today we are going to

01:43

get to the bottom of the UFO story we're

01:48

gonna crack this code ladies and we're

01:49

getting in there we're proving that

01:51

aliens exist yeah and your lives are in

01:55

danger I'd really like to know if there

01:57

was anyone who seriously whenever you

01:58

said you're going to be put on some kind

02:00

of list they just throw their iPod

02:01

together Roma Gabba no no the listeners

02:05

of this podcast you're on so many lists

02:07

it's just a yeah route if you were

02:09

already downloading this in your

02:11

and you're disgusting you're flawed a

02:13

lien mythology has been around for

02:15

pretty much ever right yeah and every

02:18

culture has some sort of reference to

02:21

either like large-eyed beings it's like

02:24

you come from the sky in flaming cigars

02:27

and all various they're sort of Native

02:29

American jibber jabber about aliens they

02:32

can't really describe it but everybody

02:34

seems to have something of things coming

02:35

from the sky and helping them with like

02:38

building sort like the pyramids in

02:40

Mexico

02:40

maybe the pyramids in Mexico yeah there

02:43

are parents and pyramids in I did not

02:45

know they're good to go yeah and so

02:47

people just assume that these Mexican

02:48

pyramids must have been made by aliens

02:50

because they don't believe the Mexican

02:51

people are capable of such unbelievable

02:53

architecture well absolutely when you've

02:55

got tortillas as far as the eye can see

02:57

right how can you imagine you'd be able

02:59

to focus on building a pyramid oh yeah

03:02

here they are these are the chicken

03:04

it'sa chicken eats us chicken Itza yeah

03:08

that's what they're called

03:08

sheesh Anita I think I think she said

03:10

she chanita if there's anyone out there

03:12

Mayan who's listening to this podcast if

03:15

you are please help us with the proper

03:17

pronunciation absolutely no mines left

03:19

she should need sir

03:20

Zapata got the Mexican pyramids here and

03:25

then of course you have your Egyptian

03:26

pyramids and no one could believe the

03:28

man could make that when in fact we know

03:30

for a fact men did make that through

03:32

slave labor so really a slave labor hey

03:34

that's an unidentified sad object will

03:38

really say they also say they like the

03:41

the Bible story of the Tower of Babel

03:43

could be connected to an alien encounter

03:46

which was a sort of if you believe

03:50

there's many schools of thought said

03:51

like Zacharias Sitchin right so

03:54

basically all these sort of

03:56

quote-unquote non-fiction books about

03:58

what's-his-name

03:59

zecharia sitchin oh he sounds like an

04:01

alien he's Amish I think would you see

04:03

he gets time to think

04:04

riah yes Zechariah will you please tend

04:08

to the goats idol must think everybody's

04:10

an alien absolutely driving their Ford

04:12

Taurus does that interview with buttons

04:13

yeah anybody using a blender to make a

04:16

daiquiri which is what it's a daiquiri

04:18

what sad a guy I know they came up they

04:20

had two lights when they came in their

04:21

intricate some sort of soft

04:23

beverage it wasn't liquid but it wasn't

04:24

a hard but no Zecharia Sitchin wrote

04:28

about how human beings are the result of

04:31

a program of a far far greater

04:34

intelligence than us planning us here

04:36

and that there's also sort of a belief

04:39

that aliens have messed with human DNA

04:41

nor to help along evolution that they've

04:43

helped us with technology and sort of if

04:46

you believe anything that came out of

04:47

the Roswell incident there's a lot of

04:49

people who believe according to it was a

04:51

book written called the day after

04:52

Roswell by Gregory Corso which is he

04:55

talks about how wireless internet I

04:58

heard about that was retroactive Lee

04:59

built out of what crashed at Roswell

05:02

which is fantastic but is it real yes I

05:06

mean it is yes I mean every real yeah

05:08

every single question whenever you're

05:10

gonna ask is it real the answers yes of

05:12

course so of course they give us the

05:13

wireless internet and that's also where

05:16

we figured out the love of tentacle porn

05:18

yes that's a very a UFO type kind of

05:23

smut they they come with all of their

05:26

eight dicks to it which is pretty pretty

05:28

fantastic yes the et porn no it's a

05:32

woman with this big ET mask on it that

05:35

very it got very realistic very real is

05:38

her clitoris she's all she's all kind of

05:41

brown and saggy and just a bunch of

05:45

dudes fuck et it is good money for

05:47

someone like that

05:48

there's just no reason and that's just

05:49

not good alien research no that is

05:53

slapdash sort of scientists over there

05:56

know an area 69 was a so that what

06:00

happened at area 51 edwards air air Air

06:03

Force Base Air Force Base Air Force Base

06:07

that's a good that's a good vocal warmup

06:09

Air Force Base it happened at uh Owen

06:11

all Chiquitita most recently it happened

06:14

at the homie the airport so that's the

06:16

thing but you see those people what

06:18

about the next her today was that next

06:19

sort of the homie don't play that

06:20

Municipal Building and playground ah I

06:23

don't get it fuck yeah well of course

06:27

we're always loving in color living in

06:29

living a living in color living in color

06:33

in living color why am i rich

06:36

that's why you're retarded cuz you're

06:38

completely to know what it is dead today

06:40

you're pretty soon yeah it's like how

06:42

like supersonic jets can only operate

06:44

properly when they're flying at sonic

06:46

speed I mean cuz it makes all the

06:48

fuselage come together you just have to

06:50

be real drunk in order to be funny I

06:52

gotta get this cocaine brain change the

06:55

whole thing

06:55

um alright so so there's still a lot of

06:58

people out there hanging out with area

06:59 51 but I think the aliens are probably 07:01

done with that space there's probably

07:03

nothing else going on the only thing

07:04

that I understand is so there's a lot of

07:06

talk or let's say something landed at

07:08

Roswell and they they have it at area 51

07:11

I was watching a documentary a

07:13

documentary that was called area 51

07:16

recently they're talking to how area 51

07:19

is pretty much genuinely a Air Force

07:23

Base that houses it's sort of it does

07:25

nuclear testing the valleys around it

07:27

where and then it does like testing of

07:29

super spy planes you know stuff that we

07:32

won't see but there's a place apparently

07:34

next area 51 called s4 which is a series

07:39

of hangars built in the mountains and

07:41

they have like all sort of topographical

07:43

like pictures of it from that Russia has

07:45

according to their files on us Russia

07:47

yeah from Russia and according to their

07:51

there is some sort of there there is a

07:53

place there that's holding a bunch of

07:55

aircraft the only an aircraft basically

07:57

the one the big crash in Roswell in 1947

08:01

and then there's another one in 1953

08:03

that happened I think in Seattle it was

08:06

there was something like that or there's

08:08

some other place what's it just landed

08:10

right on the Space Needle and it's just

08:12

hanging out he's just like right there

08:13

an age when Apple was a space but it was

08:15

a space that's pretty uh but so there's

08:18

according to area 51 they could quote a

08:21

guy named Rob Lazar who was a scientist

08:24

who came out of area 51 who was at

08:28

basically the first one to come out and

08:31

speak on anything he saw there and

08:33

according to him he worked at s4 which

08:36

is where the really secret shit happens

08:38

right and then he was brought into a

08:40

hangar walk onto a disc-shaped object

08:43

this huge like tiny like ooze like was

08:45

tiny on the inside but it was

08:47

massive on the outside you walked in and

08:49

it was there their job basically a bunch

08:52

of guys with guns pointing and him were

08:54

like you got to make this for us he's

08:58

like this is a thing look at it take it

09:00

apart

09:00

figure out how works and make one for us

09:03

and apparently two scientists had died

09:06

already

09:07

according to they try to hack open on

09:09

the inside they sort of like weird

09:12

nuclear reactor that sits in the center

09:14

of thing and popped it and it exploded

09:17

this huge facility on the like outskirts

09:20

of s4 and they just wrote it off as a

09:22

nuclear test Wow but that's all but then

09:25

a court but then they set out and a

09:27

completely discredited him like there

09:28

was like oh that here's what they said

09:30

about that how they discredited him the

09:32

critics say that is credibility crumbled

09:34

after schools he was supposed to have

09:36

attended had no record of him while

09:38

others in the scientific community had

09:39

no memory of ever meeting him almost

09:41

like they were erased their memories

09:43

were erased Tommy Lee Jones did it this

09:45

is big man we had 11 these men embark on

09:48

running around all the time race in our

09:49

memory something we gotta remember

09:50

that's right so they completely

09:53

discredited this guy but he stands by

09:54

his story of course you stayed in spy

09:56

story in interviews with him he fuckin

09:59

sounds like a scientist he looks like a

10:01

scientist he's like not a he doesn't

10:03

seem like a like a lunatic he's just

10:06

talking about stuff he it seems like he

10:08

obviously fuckin saw and it was his cool

10:10

but I mean then he says nutty shit like

10:13

it's a gravitational wave engine that's

10:17

supposed to like create a gravitational

10:19

gap in front of the the whatever the

10:22

ship is and what it does is the ship

10:25

then pulls towards gravity like it's

10:27

falling constantly which allows you to

10:30

travel past the speed of light and then

10:32

something about the gravitational space

10:35

shortens space and time so that as you

10:38

use it you're the object or going

10:40

towards gets shorter to you and faster

10:42

for you to go there I follow right I

10:44

don't know yeah

10:45

that's not but it's still but I mean I'm

10:46

bad at all invented I mean I just took

10:48

transair over to Wisconsin I want to I

10:51

want a UFO flight far much better

10:53

absolutely well I mean you won't get a

10:54

television I imagine it's gonna be hard

10:57

to pick up satellite in any sort of

10:59

Wi-Fi yeah

11:00

yeah that's true it seemed I mean I

11:02

don't know why it doesn't seem

11:03

impossible to America to make a flying

11:05

saucer we've got the helicopter which

11:06

pulls up from the land and then of

11:09

course the frisbee with a little frisbee

11:11

copter according to him it said that the

11:13

engine took an element that we don't

11:15

have and that so this is OK this is also

11:18

where it gets really stupid and daddy

11:21

and he said that there are nine

11:23

different discs yes and though they're

11:24

all different shapes and sizes according

11:27

them after according to him in 1953 when

11:30

this other ship happily the other crash

11:32

happened I forget where it was they it

11:35

wasn't a crash this thing landed and

11:38

essentially these aliens were like ah

11:40

hey hello like talk to us oh hey hi and

11:43

that they are from the binary star

11:47

cluster of Zeta Reticuli oh and that

11:49

they gave them a hundred pounds of this

11:53

element 150 element 115 is called uh

11:56

it's nicknamed ununpentium ununpentium

11:59

yeah what is it

12:01

I don't know so I mean so that is then

12:05

you're like okay okay so you you met an

12:08

alien you met and when they they

12:10

described as a three-foot-tall like grey

12:13

creature with big eyes and stuff oh no

12:16

he's on the Jersey Shore now they uh I

12:20

just don't know I just feel like what

12:23

the fuck you supposed to say how did how

12:24

do I believe you now because I want to

12:26

yeah because I want to see it myself if

12:28

I saw it and lose my shit I would be

12:31

like awesome and I quit everything yeah

12:33

and like what follow them around seemed

12:36

very squishy to me they are all squishy

12:39

characters which I guess makes sense

12:40

which base carry yeah yeah really bones

12:42

but more cartilage just amazed every

12:44

they're smarter now yeah similarly cats

12:47

but they're all because they're all

12:48

brain they're all brain and there's no

12:50

way for them to survive any sort of

12:52

animal attack whatsoever

12:54

so get out think them but the thing is

12:56

now with all right so let's say we have

12:59

many aliens which is true because that's

13:00

what we decide to do is all podcast it's

13:02

absolutely true that we met they are

13:03

perhaps uh I'll tell you that why they

13:06

keeping it a secret right number one

13:08

what is the possible I mean besides like

13:10

sort of mass panic but I don't know if

13:13

it's going away

13:14

yeah I mean it would shatter a lot of

13:16

religions and strengthen a whole series

13:18

of other ones I guess if we do confirm

13:20

aliens what Scientology would really

13:22

take off yeah I'd be big yeah but even

13:25

an alien I imagine would say would you

13:28

describe to them Scientology they'd be

13:30

like that's insane they're not really

13:33

that's not how the aliens work I'm sorry

13:35

I'm an alien

13:37

yeah that's true oh one of those Seth

13:38

Rogen aliens that's what we need to meet

13:40

some of those cool weed smoking funny

13:43

aliens absolutely that'll be fine then

13:45

well there's gotta be one alien out

13:47

there who's just the coolest little

13:48

alien around there's no one handsome he

13:50

wants to go to earth and like be a part

13:52

of Hollywood just walk rock and roll

13:54

music and he likes to dance he likes to

13:56

just go out there with kids and go to

13:57

concerts and stuff like that yeah I mean

13:59

they're a primitive must rock and roll

14:01

music sits out of these people they must

14:02

just be listen to random sounds I know

14:07

that's yours you know go back oh my gosh

14:10

look I got ya it's strange yeah we're

14:14

Chi Smith

14:15

yeah as they were building the pyramids

14:16

and as a maraca regarde Gaga or there's

14:23

another thing there's another theory

14:26

that what if aliens are future humans

14:29

well it's rose the guy I'm travelers

14:31

yeah future humans are past humans who

14:34

left us here and went away to do

14:37

whatever they had to do and then we were

14:38

able like in the evolutionary step maybe

14:40

we're just missing one more little

14:42

ingredient before us they were here they

14:45

had to be super smart they figure out a

14:46

way to get the hell out because he's

14:47

wildebeests and gorillas and cavemen

14:50

were eating their brains having sex with

14:52

their wives and you know stealing their

14:53

kids so they were like we're gonna zip

14:55

on out

14:56

yeah and they figured out a way to do

14:57

that left us here on earth and 5,000

15:00

years later we figured out fire yeah and

15:03

and now we're just coming to terms with

15:05

the idea that we're retarded and there's

15:06

a super race of humans out there who a

15:09

lien I just wonder I wonder if it's true

15:11

if aliens are here to manipulate our DNA

15:15

and slowly make us like them or maybe

15:17

and that's where they are we are all of

15:19

the same race they are all volume.i but

15:21

but the other thing was also believing

15:24

that all life is based on carbon which

15:26

is not necessarily

15:27

like life could also be based on

15:29

phosphorus yep phosphorus was the one

15:31

they just discovered yeah and then one

15:33

middle of Los Angeles so we know didnít

15:36

get discredited did they say that that

15:38

wasn't real

15:38

did it I hope it did worry was just some

15:41

sort of just dumb like Yahoo news picked

15:44

it up and was like alien found in LA and

15:46

there's like oh no I know no it was just

15:49

it was a thing we know about it's

15:50

fucking science we don't have the time

15:52

to possibly explain to Yahoo News that's

15:55

right new camera um and you're from of

15:58

course from the Texas and there's a lot

15:59

of sightings and stuff over there quite

16:01

regularly

16:02

oh yeah we're real bored and well that

16:06

was so I watched another documentary

16:08

Phoenix lights yes we talked about this

16:10

on the last podcast about Colts and that

16:12

was another very interesting thing to of

16:14

a mass sighting of 15,000 people calling

16:17

and seeing these lights over Phoenix

16:18

again it's just another sort of wide

16:21

open space place like Arizona in Texas

16:24

where it seems like the aliens know that

16:26

if you put a message in this form of sky

16:28

that a lot of people are going to see it

16:31

because there's just so much of it like

16:33

that's why you know I imagine that's why

16:36

there's not a lot of UFO presence like

16:38

in New York where it would be it'd be

16:42

kind of difficult I don't look up well

16:43

there was one there was something that

16:45

happened in New York not too long ago I

16:47

think it was last November yeah that's

16:49

right now the triangle lives in this you

16:51

love these triangle lights coming out

16:53

now that's what the one and cozinha

16:55

jewel was the government officially said

16:57

there's an 810 Warthog aircraft yeah but

17:00

then they said they watched it slowly

17:03

pan across the sky you watch the videos

17:05

in the documentary of the sighting five

17:08

yellow lights it's ludicrous it's not a

17:10

fucking airplane it's not one it's not

17:13

making a noise in a vision if it's an

17:16

airplane and it's that fucking huge it's

17:19

a size of football field yeah and it's

17:21

just slowly inching across the sky

17:24

and it's like airplanes will move like

17:26

that I don't know maybe the aliens and

17:28

the government have some sort of deal

17:30

going on that we don't know about that

17:32

but don't you think that they would have

17:34

to then have deals with Russia and with

17:37

China and like because how can us be the

17:40

only people to

17:41

have a deal with you I mean it sounds to

17:43

me like these aliens are just Chinese

17:46

you're just saying that because they're

17:48

slanty eyes

17:49

well you just see anything is they've

17:51

got the biggest eyes around it's true

17:53

they're mostly I mean yeah yeah I mean I

17:55

don't know what would be the point of

17:56

having the deal with the aliens I guess

17:58

you know Asus terribie number one the

18:01

complete uh shattering of all religions

18:03

and God knows what people would start

18:05

doing if they found out that aliens

18:07

actually exist yeah I mean people like

18:08

me I just I just give up I shouldn't do

18:10

anything anymore I'll be done I just go

18:13

work go to where the aliens were and

18:14

hang out with the aliens yeah I wonder

18:16

how fun they are though I mean not like

18:18

a culture of brainiacs you know that

18:20

yeah they're nerds super nerdy you know

18:23

and maybe that's why they haven't

18:25

attacked us yet because we're

18:26

Neanderthals and they're petrified that

18:29

we're just gonna come after them with

18:30

sticks and stones and bazookas and

18:32

nuclear weapons and maybe they're not

18:35

very good with the weapon weapon

18:36

technology is true or you like we'd say

18:38

what dan Aykroyd

18:40

I believe and which is true like Dan

18:43

Aykroyd has his documentary unplugged on

18:45

UFOs which is him uh restiess tune is on

18:48

yeah he sings penalty it's really nice

18:50

to do just that he does he is that guy

18:52

in the back playing drums with it with

18:55

it brushes yeah you know I mean not even

18:57

playing full drums is she so sweets like

18:59

what I like full drums here's what

19:01

happened Rahm did LexA do um but no then

19:06

he talks then he does a couple hour set

19:08

just talking rambles about you will

19:11

tells a story about how you woke up and

19:13

he was awoken by these UFOs right in his

19:16

home in Los Angeles this is - that's the

19:18

only problem

19:19

I love dan Aykroyd I trust dan Aykroyd

19:22

implicitly he's a fucking Ghostbuster

19:25

yes that one of the best people on the

19:28

face of the planet as far as I'm

19:29

concerned that UFOs story of him being

19:32

in bed he was in bed and then heard in

19:34

his head come outside and then didn't go

19:37

outside then he was like I'm not going

19:38

outside and then didn't go outside but

19:40

then he's like but then I heard other

19:42

people say they saw UFO yeah that's a

19:45

little true US was a sluggers dream but

19:49

yeah Dana heard also believes that the

19:51

CIA shut down his sci-fi Network show

19:53

because he was releasing too much truth

19:55

yeah you know I think between him and

19:57

Jesse Ventura is really believes there's

19:59

just like my truth too hard man

20:01

everybody just know I'm just dropping

20:03

bombs at knowledge and everybody the CIA

20:05

is coming in here to shut me down it's

20:06

like you did three episodes of a show on

20:10

sci-fi channel a terrible show for us

20:12

yeah you know like the five dudes

20:16 300-plus pounds oh really 20:19

the man's not getting any thinner it out

20:21

or short I did say in the whole thing to

20:22

document him just fucking chain-smoking

20:24

it yeah easing no I mean you know you

20:27

kind of want to have a conversation with

20:28

him about it but then at the same time

20:29

it'd be so damn intense so frightening I

20:32

never wanted to try and prove him wrong

20:34

cuz I love that he thinks that he's

20:36

right I love I love how passionate he is

20:39

and I wish I could feel that way about a

20:42

single thing in my life

20:44

you know well I mean you're just gonna

20:45

have one of those sightings you had a

20:48

sighting in a cemetery didn't you yeah

20:50

whenever I was in high school so I was

20:52

staring up at the the stars like held

20:55

way up you know you get out in the

20:57

middle of nowhere and just the stars

20:58

just everywhere you can see the fucking

21:00

Milky Way I was just staring at this one

21:02

spot there was like this blinking light

21:04

like wait wait wait for out there and it

21:07

was blinking I was just in there staring

21:09

at it and then it just like flew across

21:12

the sky like in an instant just I mean I

21:15

mean I realized I fell off a gravestone

21:17

no and then a skeleton came by and said

21:22

boo boo boo all day but you saw an alien

21:26

my friend and you are very lucky you

21:29

didn't get abducted I would love to be

21:30

abducted it seems to me like it's never

21:32

that bad they always make such a big

21:34

deal out of it when they come back to

21:35

earth first of all they always bring

21:37

these retards back to earth they should

21:38

just keep them forever I don't believe

21:41

that

21:41

I don't think of ducting is real I think

21:43

I've ever known that is the one thing

21:44

that I'm just I'm not convinced on I

21:47

mean I kind of understand the idea that

21:50

like alien scientists are trying to

21:53

experiment us on us and try to clear it

21:55

out but I don't think it would work like

21:57

that I don't think there's gonna pick up

21:59

random people fucking look in their butt

22:01

holes and then drop well I I mean unless

22:04

they're they were all proctologists in

22:06

their former life and they just they

22:08

care about cancer yeah and how it's

22:10

affecting humans yeah you know maybe

22:12

that's the reason they're out there

22:14

trying to protect our tissue trying to

22:16

help us quit smoking absolutely yeah you

22:18

wanted anyway Edward they're really

22:19

gonna go after Aykroyd yeah they had a

22:22

whole Health Department the UFO world

22:24

and they see these human smoke in there

22:26

did they're devastated saddens them yeah

22:29

like the Native American after seeing

22:30

somebody litter eat one huge giant tear

22:33

graphic are you really here though not a

22:36

kak Glico Limon Co II feel sadness with

22:40

what you would call sadness what aliens

22:42

called

22:42

nothing that they don't really feel the

22:44

things that you feel that's true so you

22:46

think most of these abductions are just

22:47

hallucination story I think they're all

22:49

great memories closed up yeah I think

22:52

there are we there do mention there the

22:54

the alien looked a lot like their step

22:56

yeah

22:58

I mean what do you think would happen if

23:00

if we find out the UFOs are here I mean

23:03

I would assume there'd be about 20% of

23:04

the world's population that would just

23:06

kill themselves immediately I guess no

23:08

Jo your get insane I really I really

23:11

don't see what the big deal is about

23:12

like a what the public outcry and the

23:14

public reaction would be I really don't

23:16

think it would be that bad at all I cuz

23:18

I think that we're already there were

23:20

already conditioning groomed to accept

23:23

weird alien ships I got a conscience

23:25

with it there's a bunch of who has out

23:27

there though with shotguns already

23:29

loaded up and just they they you know

23:31

itched in the woods UFO killer on it a

23:34

shot good got bones in there they're

23:36

special for the UFOs you it is a way in

23:38

which in super-g bowman device bullets

23:40

yes daily don't touch that one when you

23:42

kill the deer touch the other one that's

23:44

the deer killer that's a picture of the

23:46

deer I um I mean if I was an alien I

23:49

would just be petrified to land in the

23:50

middle of the Texas that's why it's so

23:51

ironic every was like oh they always go

23:52

to these Bumble to places where you know

23:54

nobody exists but it's like I know

23:56

there's no galactic diplomats yeah yeah

24:00

Bumba do Texas right exactly

24:03

Oh way we'll saw whoa and then like

24:05

there's no reason why they would just

24:06

shoot no soft jellyfish hell yeah

24:08

absolutely BJ I said it in the face

24:10

first reaction is shoot to it like

24:13

something that you don't think I get

24:14

well because that's I mean there are so

24:16

many other things out there that can

24:17

kill you yeah so you like you see it's

24:20

like I don't know what that is I'm gonna

24:21

go

24:21

kill it before it kills me I don't know

24:23

if it's gonna kill me I don't even know

24:24

if it's gonna try but you know what it's

24:25

not gonna get the chance the other thing

24:28

is to get robbed laser cutter talks

24:31

touches upon this when he was being

24:33

interviewed he was talking about there

24:34

is a sort of even publicly written about

24:39

plan for dealing with alien life in the

24:41

government so yeah before they went to

24:43

the moon one big one they set up the

24:46

Apollo missions

24:47

the CIA and everyone had to sit down

24:49

talking about let's say we go to the

24:51

moon and there are people up there what

24:53

do we do

24:54

and the think-tank came up with this

24:56

sort of like loose plan of it's like a

24:58

thirty year long plan of disinformation

25:00

where you start off sort of you you shut

25:03

down all knowledge of UFO sightings call

25:07

everyone who's everyone who believes in

25:08

it crazy you know like destroy the

25:10

reputations do all this stuff

25:12

slowly let more and more information

25:14

leak out which is happening in the form

25:16

of like WikiLeaks right and like these

25:17

various places world it's classified UFO

25:19

documents are cutting out and basically

25:21

get the population used to the idea and

25:24

pretty much being like oh there's UFOs

25:26

but the government's covering it up I

25:28

mean they put your toe in the water

25:29

technique it's very smart a government

25:31

plan especially in the 60s oh yeah when

25:33

we went to the moon people were so

25:34

hopped up on God knows what yeah they

25:37

would have found an aliens were up there

25:38

Oh communist I mean how do we even know

25:42

does anybody ever ask how do we even

25:44

know what aliens look like or why do we

25:46

think they look the way that they look

25:47

because it's just what people say and

25:50

sort of I mean abductee reports people

25:52

saying of what happened at Roswell and

25:55

then yeah and you know what you're

25:56

talking about earlier the aliens

25:58

throughout the years like you see the

25:59

little drawing you see the little gray

26:02

men come up here and there it's all in

26:04

like Egyptian hieroglyphics it's like

26:06

it's really really interesting because

26:08

they call them angels and they work

26:10

there are a lot of these things that

26:12

came down and they sort of like weave it

26:14

into like sort of folklore about you

26:17

know these gods that came down and

26:18

helped us with this is God came down

26:20

like taught us how didn't like irrigate

26:23

this river and it was and they draw it

26:25

and it is a large eyed creature that is

26:28

not human nature and they say it came

26:31

from a thing from the sky and then you

26:32

had

26:33

and it happens in every goddamn religion

26:36

in every single society it happens like

26:39

a creationist myth

26:40

yeah yeah they all have it they all have

26:42

it need but it's like why do you need to

26:44

come from like who planted the first

26:46

seed was just the like the smartest but

26:48

like ugliest human being ever maybe

26:50

nobody no wandering through the desert a

26:52

big bug eyes

26:54

they're like helos like an alien and

26:56

then forever we just I mean because what

26:58

was your guy who loved Mad Magazine

27:00

caricature of that person were I wrong

27:02

on the cave wall yeah like the cover of

27:04

the week or something like that great if

27:07

the earth was just a huge wildlife

27:08

preserve for aliens and the ones that

27:11

come they're just tourists they come to

27:12

look at it they come in I would just say

27:14

funny that would be amazing if they like

27:16

helped us along and they just came to

27:18

check up on us every once in a while

27:19

they feel stuck in a zoo a lot of times

27:21

in life who fucking knows so maybe

27:23

that's what it is maybe that's how

27:25

intelligent life is sort of farmed

27:27

around the universe where it's like they

27:29

go to it like habitable planets and then

27:33

they they propagate it with like they

27:36

either like change the environment and

27:38

like allow DNA to construct itself and

27:41

like make various creatures that grow

27:43

into humans and then like once human

27:45

being comes up they fuck with our brains

27:47

and like be like well one generation at

27:49

a time making a smarter and like it like

27:51

working out tools and now that word is

27:54

dumber and now we're just talking about

27:55

the Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy yes

27:57

yeah that's where we've come back around

28:01

yeah I mean you know honestly I don't

28:03

know too much about aliens which I think

28:04

has been exposed uh in this podcast but

28:08

I seem to know a lot you know I've done

28:10

I just I don't know what happened

28:12

because it's fascinating it's you that I

28:14

Rea just got into my brain I read a lot

28:16

of sci-fi yeah I'm just fascinated I'm

28:21

also looking for any sort of excuse to

28:23

abandon this life and go John the aliens

28:24

if they just could just fucking take me

28:26

yeah get me off of this goddamn spinning

28:29

Rock aliens yeah absolutely

28:31

you don't think I'd see the truth in

28:33

your eyes I want to be a jester for them

28:35

I want you to chain me up and make

28:37

jornal chortle chortle chortle tried by

28:39

REI they're like we like it yeah this is

28:42

amazing they cannot rate but this one

28:44

you

28:45

as or the rapey republic yeah they could

28:48

break me the most you never know what

28:49

they're gonna be laughing at anything

28:50

what is there Larsen together what

28:52

scientists laugh at not weird sick stuff

28:55

yeah they just play with it just like

28:56

poke their penis with like a a bobby pin

28:59

yeah pokin the tip of their penis go ha

29:02

ha ha that's funny uh no letters because

29:05

of you know some sort of genetic reason

29:07

I don't know I mean I would love to be

29:10

adopted abducted though just to have

29:12

some evidence I've never seen an alien I

29:13

would definitely want to I've never seen

29:16

a UFO either you know they just gotta be

29:18

they gotta be around there were those

29:20

seven lights or 15 balloons is what they

29:23

call them over in New York City recently

29:25

yeah and I did get a grab a glimpse of

29:27

those because you love looking at

29:29

balloons I just looking burns all the

29:31

time

29:31

yeah man the thing is they said they

29:34

were balloons but they're so high in the

29:35

sky that I think as a balloon would've

29:37

been impossible to see but if you're an

29:39

alien culture I mean New York City this

29:41

is the place it's gonna get it first is

29:42

the place you just blow up right away

29:44

yeah I mean the buildings it just looks

29:47

beautiful to be devastated the it just

29:50

seems like that that's the only thing to

29:52

where it's like I just feel like we

29:54

either know if we could know if we could

29:57

know they would just like walk in front

29:59

of us and just tell us one day I don't

30:01

know why it's such a weird secret I

30:03

don't know why like if they're visiting

30:05

us like why they know it has to be a

30:07

secret like that doesn't really make a

30:09

whole lot of sense because you imagine

30:11

aliens would kind of show up with a big

30:12

grand parade being like hey everybody

30:14

don't shoot us or or that they're sort

30:17

of stuff like like the concept of

30:20

singularity right we're like artificial

30:22

intelligence will eventually become as

30:24

smart as right like our intelligence and

30:27

the idea that then you can propagate

30:29

yourself and sort of we were there

30:30

artificial intelligence to begin with

30:32

they made us to help them out and then

30:34

all of a sudden we just started jacking

30:35

off at 13 that we can't do we're left to

30:40

our own devices or what if aliens are a

30:42

bunch of nano machines what if their

30:43

bodies are made out of microscopic

30:45

machines and we wouldn't even know we

30:47

could be bombarded with sort of

30:48

different foreign life that showed from

30:50

a Wade like us like way way way in the

30:53

future which would probably be we're all

30:55

just cloud matter of

30:57

nanomachines enchantress uh poke

31:00

yourself I'll smoke you Henry please I

31:03

love to do it get you so high you know

31:05

Thalian scam i really hope i really hope

31:07

that it's gonna be the riffraff like

31:08

just the riffraff that the alien work

31:11

kind of feel like wants come but like

31:13

scummy a little bit but still still

31:15

pretty nice but just a little bit scummy

31:17

you know like John Carpenter's escape

31:19

from LA well they just they're all snake

31:21

and iasis but I will say if aliens do

31:27

come world peace is a possibility we

31:28

would all unite against the Kaname a

31:30

common enemy of Millions yeah would you

31:33

be pretty amazing I guess our religions

31:34

won't seem so powerful once we realize

31:36

that our ideas have not meant anything

31:37

although Jesus was a god diem alien well

31:40

but if Jesus was an alien and Buddha was

31:42

an alien and Gandhi was an alien John

31:44

Lennon was an alien oh my god what of

31:46

all those people were that we really I

31:48

think the alien to be pretty pissed off

31:49

that we killed all of their bodies

31:50

that's men in black talk yeah as men in

31:52

black well I'll tell you we're gonna get

31:54

back to this subject at a later date I'm

31:56

gonna do a little bit more research

31:57

that's fine and I had a lot I felt like

32:00

I was talking a lot of facts you did

32:02

talk a lot of facts and we love you

32:04

aliens so come back contact us please

32:06

come get us

32:06

you hate this group choose us the choose

32:10

us it's the last podcast on the left

32:11

Marcus Parks I'm having a pretty good

32:13

time here on earth I don't know about

32:14

you guys I'm fine

32:15

I can either fuck out of here yeah

32:18

what's up that spice go for Henry

32:22

Zebrowski I'm Benji so we will scare you

32:24

next week

32:26

[Music]